tw: worthlessness, a form of self-harm, arguing with myself

i hate feeling like this. i know that, if i tell my family, they're going to walk around me like i'm made of glass or something. they'll be worrying about me constantly, instead of worrying about themselves and their jobs and their own lives. idk. i just.. idk. i just think that i shouldn't be telling anyone my worthless feelings.
and no, i don't care if you say "everyone's feelings are valid" and i guess they are, but i'm a bit hypocritical. i tell my friends to take care of themselves, when i don't take care of myself.
people shouldn't pay my feelings attention, because there are plenty of other people who need more help than i could ever need.
and just... ugh. i hate it when i let my emotions get to me like this.

okay, so, now for the "self harm" part.
i don't cut. if i did, i'd just cut all over the tops of my hands, because i think that that would be appealing.
but what i actually do is pick at my face.
yeah. that's one of the hardest things for me to admit. any time anyone mentions it to me, it just makes me want to do it more.
i can't control myself. when i see my face in the mirror, i can't help but pick at my face. it's an uncontrollable urge for me.
it's been a problem for some years now. my parents have tried to help, and at one point, they even took out all the mirrors in the house. it didn't work.
my face makes me self-concious. i hate it. i hate how much i pick away my scabs. but i do it anyways. i guess it might be some sort of coping thing, idk.

ugly selfie ahead.

you were warned.

i haven't taken care of myself in days. i want to stay in my house and never leave again.