So I thought it was a good idea to watch Charmx react to top 5 ghost videos on playlist. I didn't think of the fact I would be highly nervous for the rest of the time but I'm now anxious.

I also got two spiders (the same type of spider) in my room. Now spiders freak me out and they make me uncomfortable. My brother killed the first one and we don't know where the dead spider is. The second one I'm not even sure is dead. My mom got it on the floor and it crawled on top of a bag so she wrapped it around the arachnid. But there's a chance it's still in the room cause it could've crawled out. The thought about it is really keeping me awake. 

Before my mom "killed" the spider, I tried to wake my brother up to kill it but he didn't. I than spent I don't know how long crying in the hall next to my room. At one point I was like "fuck it I'm going to just stay up all night and watch the spider like a hawk." My mom than came and she was pissed at me. She didn't get much sleep last night cause our dog recently had surgery and he's been in pain for awhile. He needs to be watched and my mom is always saying downstairs to watch him, which causes her to get little sleep. So to make it up to her, I'm not going to sleep. I'm staying up all night.

Fuck the fact I have school in the morning, fuck my health, fuck my life. I've already hurt myself from all the anxious and depressing feelings I got tonight, I've just tipped the ice burg. I would post certain pictures but I'll get reported for them.