When ever I try talking about my dad, the very thought of him makes me cry. I wanna tell him that but he won't listen and never will. He's one of the reasons I wanna die and I would love to tell him how much I don't want to be his daughter or his son or his child in general. I just can't take it anymore and I don't see the point in trying to tell him that cause he wouldn't care. I question whether he means it or not when ever he says he loves me. Because if he did, he wouldn't make me cry so much. I shouldn't be scared of him but I am. And I can't stand being in the same house as him. I wanna be away from him. When ever I try to get my feelings out to my mom, she deflects it to herself making herself sound like I hurt her. I know that I'm awful but why can't they see their just as bad? Why should I care about them if they don't care about me? Why should I care about people who hurt me? I would rather be dead than care about them. And I know they probably feel the same. They probably wished I was never born. Well I wish that too. I wish I've never lived in this house. That I was never their child. I would prefer to be alone. I want to be alone and never see them again.

(I'm gonna tell someone who actually cares.)