"Hello, welcome to the medicine den my name is Torn'paw, how may I help you today sir?"

"Welcome to the medicine den thank you for bringing your fucking kits-"

"Thank you to whoever hacked up a hairball on nest 6-"

*thump* "Sir please don't throw hairballs at me." *more thumps* "I got my medicine name for this."

*someone finding deathberries under a leaf pile* o-o"

"That's gonna be ten poppy seeds." *strange noise of poppy seeds being scattered* "Trying to give me a fucking seizure?"

"Crap we've got some high cat. Lock up the herbs"

"Ya know you shouldn't eat those poppy seeds, their three moons past their date. They'll make you see through time."

"Pretty much any of the herbs we carry will give you a grandmaule seizure."

"Yeah we sell catmint they're on the herb pile next to the expired goldenrod you mouse-dick"

"I'm going to eat deathberries!"

"Look at that, another retard. Some people are so disgusting." *random thump of a cat nope-ing out*

*random strange cat walking in* "In the name of starclan!" *shoving something toward them* "Take anything you want just please don't kill me." *cat running off with herbs* "Jokes on you mouse-brain those herbs double as my sick sleeping nest-"

"Ahahaha. That's a really funny joke. I had another cat tell me that same joke but first he said 'Hi, I'm Fox'dick.'"

"My real concern is that there's no fresh herbs-"

"You wanna talk to my mentor? Mouse'pelt, some bitch wants to talk to you"

"I swear to god I'm going to set this clan on FIRE-"