*intro beep*

Lis: Some guys will just walk in and be like; "Ooh~ What that mouth do?~" *laughs, before going stone cold serious* Eat. I am a fat bitch, unless you are able to provide me with an entire rotisserie chicken and ice cream anytime I ask you for one just like Willy Wonka and his Oompa Loompas, remove yourself from my DMs otherwise I am going to shove an entire ironing board into your pe-

*beep*

Cindy: So this mom was introducing Sahsa and I to her daughter, who's a five year old child. We held each others hand and the mom notices we have rings and says: "Awe you two must have amazing husbands, do you have any kids?" And I was like- *She pauses* Please remove your child before I kiCK IT-

*bEeP*

Solaris: Some old people be out here like; "Don't disrespect me" while they continue to be transphobic and hateful.. Gurl, who do you think you are? LGBT plus parades don't exist for you to be rude like this, so fix your manners or else I will crema-

*BEEP*

Eli talking about tiktok: There are some people on this app who are like; "Would you kill me for 2.7 Million Dollars?" *laughs* Bitch, I would kill yo- *She stops* *silence* *sudden laughter*

*beeep*

Lizzie: There's a new virus going around, it's called "feelings". Don't catch that shit, you'll be left sitting alone on your bed until 3am crying to yourself while eating popcorn dipped in *stumbling on her words* ma-malaria-marmalade *takes a breath* ...Did I just say malaria?-

*beep*

Darkness: Quick parenting tip, everytime you yell at your kids you put a quarter in your no-yelling sock and soon you'll have a weapon to beat the-

*beep*

Eli, reading tweets: Oh god- "What's an orgasm?"
Dep, over her shoulder: "When you fold paper to look like birds and shit." *chuckles weakly*
Lis, also reading it: "No that's oregano bitch"-
*they all burst into laughter*

*bEeP*

dryriahriah
DarknessFollows_User