Hello. Today's theme is my former class.
The worst two years of school were 5th and 6th grade. My class was  horrible.
We had school from 8:00a.m - 3:20 p.m.
Every day.
And yes. Of course many people have longer school days, but the main problem was the volume.
I'm really sensitive. I need complete silence, to be concentrated, and I get angry easily. I'm not really patient, and easily stressed. I'm easily overwhelmed, but I'm smart and talented(atleast that's what my family and teachers tell me)
So I mostly get good grades.
So now let's take a look:
•silent
•book/manga loving
•smart
•likes to be alone

Yes.I'm that kind of girl.

And now, if you have a class, with 28 children, most of them don't get so good grades and some have family issues.

Exactly. They didn't liked me at all, just for who I am.

It was loud. Imagine someone taking very loud, that ×22 and that was the common volume in my class. And that 7,20h per day, five days per week(except Friday) 36 weeks per year, two years.
To that, something always flies in the air, sometime walkes around, stands on a table, or is fighting with someone.

Just one week, and I had enough, but I had to spend the next two years with them, so I thought: “ maybe, if I'm kind to everyone, it's gonna be alright?”
So when someone asked me for something, I gave it them. If they didn't understood anything, I explained it to them, and if they forgot something, I borrowed it them.

Everything was fine, but after some time, they took advantage of it, stole things from me, wanted me to buy them things from my money, or 'borrow' them money in general, so I stopped giving anyone anything.

I knew it was better for me, but I also hurt myself with that, but I rather wanted to be independent but hated, instead of being exploited by them.

And of course, when I still gave them things, they already weren't really kind to me, they only acted kind, so they get things from me, but the second I turned around, they started talking about me, about how I look, how I am, and I knew that, but I didn't wanted to let them know I knew it, because I thought, if I still pretend to be the kind little girl, they will stop one day. They didn't.

At that point, my personality was already changed. When I was younger, I was really social.
I loved being outside. I loved people. I loved to talk in front of people. I loved everything.

Now hate being outside. I hate people. I hate it, to talk in front of people. I'm often more cold and I'm extremely unconfident.

But how I already said, I already the personally I have now after a few months, so I didn't smiled anymore. I had too much problems for that. I had a toxic friend, and she manipulated my other friends, so they stopped spending time with me. Then I got knew friends. Two other girls, that didn't really had a place in the class, just like me. I know, they were really questionable, but they were all I had, even tho, I sometimes hated their guts.

But I'm not focusing ..... This was supposed to be about my class.....

So. I was always seated next to the worst children, and most of the time, I sat in a corner. Alone on a table for two. On the table next to me, the most annoying dude from the class, and the pick me girl, and on my left the troublemaker.

There basically was a group of girls, with almost all girls from the class, but they all were pick-me. The boys all were loud, playing football, e.t.c almost every child in the class was in that group, except for some, like me. The one in the group always talked about how good this class society was, it was like, they didn't saw us, but I knew they saw me, because they always treated me like shit.

My friends didn't saw that. My friends didn't knew that, they didn't even looked if I was alright. My family didn't noticed something was off, and my class just kept on talking about the 'good class society'.

Now here are the children, and what they did(I gave them other names):

Lana: she was the 'leader' of that girls group.  She and Eva always laughed at me, acted like I was three. Always having a fake laugh. Laughing, even when I was completely serious with what I said. They didn't took me serious, instead, expecting me, to do the work for them, and then they always said in this taunting voice: 'Good job', like you'd tell it a todler, when it learns to speak. and than started fake laughing.
I could tell them my grandma died, I got hit by a car, my mother was in the hospital.
They'd just laugh and say in a sarcastic voice: 'awwww~ how bad for you. But you know. No one cares about you anyways'

Eva: (look at Lana) She also sat next to me, together with Alan. They would always take my things, distract me, laugh at me nearly crying because of them. They'd always taunt me, and do the same as Lana did: Talk to me like I was dumb. Like I was oblivious to everything. Like I Wasn't able to realize how they treat me.

Alan: (Look at Eva). He always was provocating me, thinking he was better: “I am better than you. You should listen to me. I am the man. You're just a woman” That guy was sexist asf.
He also always had this mocking laugh.

Ian: He was full of energy, always had an extremely loud voice, and always felt the need to talk.
He was always pretending to hurt me, and sometimes even did. He saw that as a 'fun joke'. Always telling proud, how he was always beating up his girlfriends.
He was like Lana, but louder.

The others weren't that bad. Some of them joined from time to time, but that's all I remember (I have horrible memories to these two years, and almost remember nothing)

And if course they all often judged my face, body and clothes.

It could have been worse, but it still wasn't nice. It affects me til this day, and changed me completely.

Goodbye for now.

(I have a new class now)