I get a feeling I'm locked in a vicious cycle. 

I get a group of friends, everything's okay, I talk a lot, I talk too much, my talking annoys them, they start subtly pushing me away, I don't notice, they push harder and harder, I take the hint and then I remove myself from the group. I just leave, then they're all happy, I'm alone, I find more people and it starts again. 

Right now, I'm at the part where they're pushing me harder and I'm taking the hint. I've been trying to leave them alone; they seem happier when I do, but it's hard because I freaking love them. (As friends, not romantically, I'm bi not polyamarous (idk if I spelled that right)) I've repeated this cycle with about three or four friend groups, one of them twice, and it never hurts any less. I don't know how I'm supposed to leave my current 'friends?' if I literally can't. 

I feel like I only have three people in the world who don't hate me. THREE PEOPLE. I'm not using their real names, but:

S (Queen of Procrastination, million sisters, mum ate a kid /j) 

I (Red hair, artistic, hasn't met the other two) 

E (Artistic, plays hockey, has a dog called Ella, chicken nugget hamster called Fudge) 

And that's literally IT. 

But I do want to thank @numspac3d for advice on the last chapter. While I didn't directly confront the guy who'd been saying the hurtful stuff, I did put a picture on the gc that may have had the cover of the vent book slightly visible, leading to one of the people who agreed with him (S) to text me separately and we *kind of* sorted it out. Not completely, but anything's better than nothing.