So. Volleyball. Last practice. Fun. Or not.

So I'm the youngest one on the team. Everyone is and 8th grader and I'm a 7th grader. They all make jokes like "7th graders are useless" or "7th graders are the weakest link". I understand that it's a joke and laugh along. Today we were doing a complicated version of tag for 15-30 minutes. I hate running. I can't run far nor fast. It's awful. So when I was "it" for at least 5 minutes my coach (who I don't like, I'll get to him later) kept yelling at me "Why are you tired?!" or "Run faster!". Shit like that. And then when I finally managed to lay down (again, complicated version of tag) the kid I was laying next to joked "Told you 7th graders are the weakest link". So um. WTF? You think I feel good after that?! You know I have mental problems! Bitch. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Anyway then we did other stuff. So. I'm a right-side-hitter, a spot typically used for lefties, but we have none. So. Me. Hate it. I wanna be a setter, but I'm not. We got to play a game and I got a chance to set. After a little one of my other friends started saying "NO! NO! ---- SWITCH WITH 'FROGG'! I AM NOT BEING ON THEIR TEAM!" As a joke. Also a trans kid, also has plenty of mental issues. So uhm. OW. I'M HAVING A SHITTY PRACTICE STFU CLAY! (His online name dw). Then we had 'positive circle'. Not many of us like it. We talked about the whole year and just how much we all improved. Several problems occurred here. 1. I kept being told my serves got a lot better. I got my offer to be on this team when we were serving. TY FOR MAKING ME FEEL USELESS!!!!!! /s. 2. My coach. Not many of us like him. He made 2+ of our teammates cry Saturday at our tournament. He explained to us why he ran things the way he did. He always kept his bar higher than we could achieve, because, according to him, that's how life is and he's showing us that. IT'S GONNA STAY AWFUL?! WTF. I CANNOT BELIEVE HIM.

 And now I'm crying. I don't know if it's because I'm mad at my teammates and/or coach, because I'm nervous for the next year and the people I'm gonna get (I got really lucky this year, everyone's super supportive), because I'm gonna miss everyone, or if I'm happy there's only 2 more days of volleyball before I never have to/get to play on this team again.