Well I've been feeling suicidal today so I wrote this huge ass paragraph explaining how I wanna kill myself so ya.....

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I feel like killing myself. No not with a knife. Not with pills or by overdosing. No not by drowning myself. I want to hang myself. I want to hang myself on a tree with branches up high. I want them just high enough to where I could reach them by standing on a chair. It has to be high enough to where I won't be able to just jump down. I want it to be high enough so no one can save me from death. At night I want to go into the deepest and darkest part of the woods. Grab a thick rope, grab a chair, stand on it, and tie a tight naught onto the tree so it could hold me without breaking. Then I'm going to put the noose I made around my neck and then think about all the good thoughts like the last good memories I had with all my family and friends who won't ever be seeing me ever again. Lastly I'm going to kick the chair so I can't get down, I'm gonna wait and leave myself to hang there until I die of suffocation. No one will here my screams cause I won't be screaming. No one will here my sobbing cause I won't be sobbing instead I'll stay still and limp so no one will find me cause no one can. No one ever will. Cause no one cares about me. I'm worthless. I'm nothing at all. I'll just let myself slowly suffocate and die. When I do finally die no one will find me. No one will be willing to save me cause I'll already be dead. I want to do this so badly, but I can't. There are no woods around me, there are no woods to protect from all this pain and horrible thoughts filling my head. There are no woods around me to help kill my mind. To help kill me and all that I have.
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Written, July 20th, 2017
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Sorry for this vent I just really needed to write it down and share it to you guys cause I don't really know how to deal with these emotion cause they haven't been this bad.

Thank you for reading, bye:(