Venompool was finishing off a job taking out some gang members in Prague in order to get paid a very handsome sum of two million dollars, the person who hired him said they were the biggest threat to his drug business so would pay well to have them never come back. He was also requested to bring a USB drive that they may have on where other storages would be located.

He was currently using a straw to drink the blood of one of the gang members, his mask slightly pulled up to show the skin on his face up to his nose "This isn't as good as just straight up eating them but you know sometimes you've gotta mix it up." Y/N said rather disappointedly

"Yeah you're right, it doesn't make the meat taste as good either" Venom agreed with Y/N as they ate more gang members as casually as eating some breakfast.

"I just thought it would be interesting to test some different combinations with our food" Y/N admitted holding his hands up to indicate that it was wrong.

"We've been bonded for twenty years so if it ain't broke don't fix it" Venom shrugged before something caught his attention just as they picked up the final gang member as something small clinked on the floor "That's the USB drive right?"

Throwing the gang member to the side like a paper ball, Y/N picked up the storage device off the floor blowing on it to remove any dust "Yep, it is. I'm sure Mr Cobblepot will be very happy with this." As he pocketed the device something slightly more serious caught the symbiote's attention as their senses went off.

"Someone's here" They said in unison before Venom added some more information "Two people"

In his usual confident manner, Y/N hopped onto the bonnet of a mid range blue Ford kicking his feet up lying back against the windscreen with his hands behind his head waiting for the duo to confront them.

After ten minutes of waiting, he was whistling a tune and started throwing his pistol up in the air and catching it in various stylish ways.

"What's taking them so long, I'm getting bored" Venom complained to Y/N who had nodded in agreement as he holstered his pistols.

"Trust me, aaaaaany second now." Y/N reassured his knees up were up and legs crossed still waiting however their patience was admittedly running a little thin at this point.

Thankfully his prayers were finally answered as a projectile came towards his abdomen however thanks to their extremely enhanced reflexes Venompool dodged it easily by shifting to his left slightly allowing the projectile to penetrate the windscreen, he saw that it was an arrow and picked it up.

Waving the arrow around "A cute attempt! If I knew we were playing Archery I'd have brought my stuff with me." Y/N yelled out assuming the people could hear "Now how about you come out because I've been sitting here bored out of my mind waiting for you to confront me." Y/N loudly requested as he did a 'Bring It' gesture hopping off the car walking around waiting.

Soon after a man stepped out from the shadows and into the well lit part of the warehouse holding a bow and arrow.

"Well someone wants to show off their arms don't they?" Y/N playfully said towards the bow wielder "It seems this arrow was fired at me.......... That's kinda mean and now I'm upset" Y/N spoke with a childlike voice snd stomped his foot on the floor like an angry toddler before softly throwing the arrow back to the man who caught it with ease.

"You're a talker that's great" The deep voiced man said sarcastically looking somewhat unimpressed at Y/N who appreciated the compliment.

"So are most people on this planet, join the fucking club dingus" Y/N joked as he leaned back on the bonnet of the car before Venom pointed out something important to him.

"Look at the logo" Venom advised and Y/N squinted his eyes behind his mask as he leaned his head forward to looked closer to see that it was the S.H.I.E.L.D logo.

Whilst he was temporarily distracted, he sensed someone sneaking up behind him and did the splits to the floor to avoid being pounced upon as the attacker dived in front of him with their back to him. Y/N quickly got to his feet and drop kicked them in the back sending them tumbling towards the bow and arrow holder.

Y/N did a kip up as the man helped his partner to their feet. When Y/N regained himself he got a good luck of the other one. Venom pretty much summed up what Y/N was thinking "Fucking hell she's hot"

"DAMN! You are the sexiest woman I have ever laid eyes on. I am SO glad I wore my white pants today" Y/N stated as he adjusted himself as the red haired woman dusted herself off.

The pair glared daggers at him as Y/N held up his hands defensively "Sheesh tough crowd, then again I expect from two S.H.I.E.L.D agents.......... I mean do they have like a machine that literally sucks the fun out of you."

"Shut up" The woman demanded with her voice a little deeper than usual for a woman.

The sound to Y/N however made him all giddy as he physically showed off how tingly it made him feel "Yeeeees ma'am" he purred back doing an impression of a cat as he answered causing her to shake her head in disapproval.

"I'm Special Agent Clint Barton and this is Special Agent Natasha Romanoff, we're here on official S.H.I.E.L.D business to retrieve some information." Clint announced himself and Natasha to Y/N.

"Yeah no shit fucknuts your badge gives it away" Y/N pointed to the badge on their uniforms which they both looked at "Oh and I'm Deadpool" Y/N joked as he produced the USB from his pocket "This is what you want I presume." He flaunted the storage device towards them. The two also had a looks on their faces indicating they were unaware of who he was.

"Yes, now if you could hand over the drive then we'll be on our way" Natasha threatened with a menacing glare yet Y/N was uninterested in her glares and threats instead taking in her natural beauty"

"Awwww but if give you it then I wouldn't be able to see your beautiful face anymore red." Y/N said with a slight pout behind his mask towards Natasha however his antics were just annoying Natasha and Clint.

"Listen Mister just give us the drive so we don't have to hurt you" Clint threatened clearly his patience had reached it's limits as he placed an arrow in his bow ready to fire. Natasha also had her hands by her pistol in a very wild west style as if she was ready to draw.

"Ready to fight the Black Widow and Hawkeye?" Venom asked with intrigue, Y/N had a mental image of Venom cracking his knuckles getting ready for a fight.

"Let me handle this, I can't kill them because obvious reasons." Y/N answered the Symbiote out loud as he clapped his hands in a 'do you understand' way.

Venom let out a quick and small hum "Yeah Nick would be fucking pissed" The symbiote retorted

Natasha and Clint looked at each other wondering what was going on, Clint had had enough of Deadpool who was still talking out loud and fired an arrow at him however was shocked when he caught the arrow before breaking it in his hand. Even Natasha broke her emotionless expression and went slightly wide eyed for a minute.

"See I was considering giving you the drive buuuuuuut Hunger Games has changed my mind so now if you want it" He threw the hard up in the air and caught it in his pants "Come and get it" Y/N yet again did another 'Bring It' gesture.

"It's never easy is it?" Natasha sighed out loud

"Nope but that's S.H.I.E.L.D for you" Clint confirmed before they both charged the arrogant Spandex wearer.

Y/N cheered as they came towards him "Now that's the Spirit!"

Y/N watched as the pair flanked him from both sides Clint attacked him first but Y/N blocked his punch by catching his fist then grabbing his arm and flipped him onto the ground before Y/N jumped up and did an elbow drop across Clint's ribs with the point of his elbow directly hitting Clint's midsection "The People's Elbow!" Y/N cheered as Clint started coughing hard probably because Y/N had definitely broken a couple of ribs.

Before Y/N could get to his feet he was met by Natasha with a pistol in her hand and a pissed off expression on her face "I'm tired of your fucking games!" She yelled as she cocked the pistol taking off the safety "Give me the drive or I will kill you" She threatened as she could feel the anger physically rise inside of her.

Y/N chuckled and opened his legs "You know where it is Ginger Spice, all you have to do is reach in and take it" Y/N pointed down to his crotch area however Natasha kept her stern exterior firmly not wanting to give in to Deadpool's ridiculousness "It's a win-win situation, you get your drive and I get my naughty bits touched by the hottest woman I've ever seen." Y/N argued however he could see the conflict Natasha was having.

In a flash that seemed like a millisecond he rose up from the floor and knocked the gun out of her hand and punched her straight in the gut causing her to bend over "I'm just kidding Kim Possible, I wouldn't force you to touch me, fucking hell I'm not some weirdo"

Y/N walked a few feet away from Natasha who looked over to see that Clint was completely out of it thanks to his broken ribs "Don't worry about him red, lots of men finish prematurely"

Natasha got herself ready to fight Deadpool as she refocused herself clearing her mind and relaxing herself "You're going to pay for what you did to Clint" she warned to Deadpool

Y/N tempted by this fiery angry side that Natasha was showing "Come on then sugar, hit me, punish me, make me cry........ I've been a naughty boy" He teased.

"Please put the poor woman our of her misery, I'm honestly struggling to stomach watching you shamelessly flirt with her" Venom begged seeing as he was very much a backseat driver in this fight however Y/N shook his head in refusal because he was clearly having too much fun.

Natasha certainly thought that Deadpool held a certain fascination due to his completely unorthodox antics but that was a thought she quickly had to shake "Do you always talk so damn much?" Natasha furrowed her eyebrows at her opponent

"The readers expect a certain amount of quippage in every fight I'm in" He responded as he shrugged his shoulders

"What are you talking about?" Natasha asked in total confusion but was met with a fist right to the face from Deadpool knocking her to the floor. She had to admit that this guy could hit hard, harder than anything she'd experienced before.

Y/N shook his hand a few times after he'd punched her "I just wanna say this is really weird for me because I'm struggling to tell if it's sexist to hit you or not to hit you."

Natasha decided to go down a different road to fight Deadpool "I'm a big girl, besides I like it rough" she flirted back to Y/N who whistled in admiration.

"Well I wasn't expecting that!" Venom basically commentated and Y/N had a similar reaction to Venom.

"I can tell you and I are perfect for each other." Y/N stated as he threw another punch at Natasha who had ducked under it and did a quick three hit combination on Y/N's torso.

She then attempted to sweep his foot and managed to snag it however Y/N did a back flip in order to get out of it and just as he landed he was met with Natasha's thighs on the either side of his head "I have reached the promised land!" Y/N muffled as he lifted his hands in victory.

Natasha who was trying to get him down on the ground then said whilst straining from the exertion of trying to floor Deadpool "Not yet big boy"

Realising what she was doing Y/N grabbed her sides and powerbombed her to the ground being careful not to do it to hard in case he accidentally killed her thanks to his enhanced strength. Thankfully he didn't but still heard some noises coming from her back. The impact from Y/N's slam severed her grip on Y/N's head who stood up and looked at her.

"Well Red this was fun, we'll have to do it again sometime" Y/N sighed before reaching into his pants to grab the USB. He threw it on Natasha's chest "Make sure you give Nick my best.......... Until we meet again" He dramatically bowed before walking off out of the warehouse.

Natasha's eyes widened at what Deadpool had said but all she could think about was 'Typical Fury'.

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It was the next day with Natasha and Clint back at S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters in the infirmary recovering from their injuries. Clint had suffered a collapsed lung and four broken ribs whilst Natasha had several harsh black bruises on her back, face and torso.

Nick Fury walked in to check on the pair with both looking unimpressed at him "Well you two look like shit" the S.H.I.E.L.D director smirked as he took a seat in between the two hospital beds.

Natasha then angrily confronted her boss "So who's this Deadpool guy that seems to be your best friend!?"

Nick just laughs "AHH so you've met him, it was inevitable really"

Clint sighs weakly "It would've been helpful to know about him because the guy hits like a fucking train"

Nick laughs again much to Clint and Natasha's annoyance as he gets up and starts strolling around the medical bay "Yep that's Classic Deadpool, I've known him for years and years with the two things I can associate with him being consistently rude jokes and extreme violence"

"So why isn't there anything about him on out files" Natasha enquired figuring S.H.I.E.L.D and especially Nick would have something on a masked man.

"He helped out with a very serious situation a number of years ago and saved the world, he was wanted by S.H.I.E.L.D for a plentiful amount of crimes but I had them wiped as a show of gratitude." Nick explained to the interested Agents.

"Doesn't strike me as the hero type" Clint joked as he coughed a little bit.

"Neither would he" Nick added "You're lucky I told him about you two otherwise he might've messed you up worse so you're welcome" He said with a shit eating grin on his face "Get well soon Agents" he waved to the pair as he walked out of the medical bay.

Clint decided to get a little bit of rest whilst Natasha thought a little bit more of this unorthodox Deadpool character.