I'M BACK! I'm sure some of you have been a little like this wondering when it was going to return:

I know it's been too long and unfortunately I've just had really low motivation for writing but seeing the support and comments has helped massively. Also 1K followers WTF!? That's amazing, thanks guys!

QUESTION: Crucify me but I've only recently started watching Star Wars for the first time. I know, I know, so uncivilised. So what is your favourite Star Wars Film/TV series ever?

I've only seen the prequels but Revenge Of The Sith has quickly become one of my favourite movies. That Mustafar scene, so well choreographed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The dawn of a new day was breaking out with Venompool and Black Widow sound asleep in their king sized bed with there being a tranquil aura surrounding them, an atmosphere that they often appreciated especially given the hectic lives that they led.

Their tranquillity didn't live for too much longer though as they both were awoken by the sounds of rhythmic fists knocking on their bedroom door reducing them to groggy states as they began to open their eyes.

"Ugghhh my 192 day sleep is now over." Y/N complained but of course we all know who was to blame for that.

Natasha laid her head on Y/N's shirtless chest, not content with getting out of bed so slurringly muttered "Can you tell whoever it is to fuck off and come back later......... Unless it's Wanda or Pietro."

"So rude in the morning." Y/N stated as her gave Natasha a kiss on her forehead.

Y/N then moved out of the bed with Natasha moaning with displeasure that her human pillow was now gone. The Merc who was dressed only in his boxers then opened the door to see Steve standing there.

"Morning Spangles." Y/N said, using his arm as a shield to block the sunlight from getting in his eyes.

"Late night again?" Steve questioned with Y/N noticing he had a small folder of A4 sheets in his hand.

"I'm surrounded by people who are Early birds, so it makes sense for me to be the Night Owl, copyright Watchmen." Y/N replied, not wanting to scar Captain America more than he already had.

Steve chuckled a little "Agreed." He then glanced behind Y/N "Morning Nat." Steve called out over Y/N's shoulder.

"Hey Steve. Don't come in here, I'm naked." She tiredly warned Rogers, wanting to be left alone and have a lie in.

"What a strange thing for her to say." Venom stated as Y/N chose not to explain with words to Rogers but instead with a lewd gesture about what he and Romanoff had gotten up to.

Embarrassment overwhelmed the super soldier as his cheeks flooded red, immediately knowing he was well out of his depth "Oh you two had...... Sex..... That's um, good for you." He awkwardly stated "At least I didn't catch you...... again."

"HAHAHAHA!!!" Y/N did a cartoonish over the top laugh reminiscing how Steve very nearly did catch him and Nat fortunately thanks to him being the most dense person alive, they got away with it "This is real authentic laughing!"

Steve narrowed his eyes in suspicion at the mercenary "Hmmmm."

"Are you honestly still this awkward about sex shit?" Y/N asked as he leaned against the door frame after his 'real aunthetic laughing' had ended.

"Yes!" Steve immediately answered before deciding to jog the memory of his friend during their time of living together "Need I remind you of the 'tennis' incident?" He said quietly.

Unfortunately for Y/N though, Natasha seemed to have supersonic hearing and heard exactly what Steve said so she sat up in the bed to look at Steve whilst using the sheets as temporary clothes to cover herself "The tennis incident?"

Steve nodded in Nat's direction and answered "When Y/N and I were living together...." His story was cut short abruptly by Y/N putting his hand around Steve's mouth.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! You don't tell women that! Especially not that one!" Y/N scolded Steve as he was about to break the major rule of 'What's seen by guys, stays between guys.'

"Oh come on Y/N, it's only little ol' me your telling?" Natasha tried to feign innocence as she put on her best pouty lips but Y/N wasn't fooled.

"Yeah, exactly. That's the problem."

Steve quickly realised his mistake and nodded to Y/N who then removed his hand from Steve's face. Rogers had Apure look of disgust and horror painted on his face "P-please tell me you did not put your sex hands on my mouth."

"Sex hands! Well I don't exactly have any other hands now. Do I?" Y/N sarcastically remarked before thinking back to a few hours prior "Besides I'm pretty certain I washed them so you're fine." He waved it off as nothing.

Venom then decided to make an appearance to antagonise the war veteran "I was watching the whole time and I can say that you are most definitely not fine."

"Why do you watch? That seems really creepy." Steve asked the Symbiote after he finished rubbing his face clean with his sleeve.

"Yeahhhhhhh but it's good entertainment when you can't sleep."

"Venom, you're such a pervert!" Natasha scolded the Symbiote as she threw a pillow at him which was evaded by Venom and caught by Steve who handed it back to Y/N.

Venom sniggered at Natasha's outburst "You're the one boning Prince of Perverts."

"Dude, I'd get back inside before you dig a deeper hole." Y/N offered as a solution to Venom.

"This was fun, it's enjoyable to annoy people." He said before returning inside of Y/N's body.

Steve had completed throwing up a little in his mouth before Y/N reverted his attention to the papers in Steve's hands "So what did you stop by for?"

Steve held out the documents to Y/N "Your friend Matt stopped by this morning and wanted to give you these-"

Y/N started panicking as he rapidly cut off Steve and pushed him out of the door "Alright that's great Steve thanks for stopping by." Y/N then slammed the door in Steve's face before sliding down the door to face his redhead girlfriend.

"What was that about?" She asked him as she pulled the sheets over and invited him to join her back in bed with a sinister smile.

Y/N did just that, with both of them back under the covers with Y/N putting the pillow back in it's original position, lying on their sides to face each other "It's another investment that I'm working on."

Natasha seemed both curious and excited at the same time "Sounds important if you're not willing to let me hear about it."

Y/N thought about the contents of those documents "It might be the most important thing that I've bought in my life."

"Oh you can't say things like that and not expect me to ask questions" Natasha asked, fluttering her lashes, a slight glimmer of hope in her green eyes.

"Sorry your Highness, but you can't know everything that's going on in the Kingdom." He teased without giving anything away.

"Hmmm, fine." Natasha then scooched over to Y/N and gave him a loving kiss on the lips with the Merc resting his hand on her cheek to deepen it. After she pulled away, she smiled at him "You're surprises are normally interesting, good or bad."

"That's the way I like it." He sang, hoping that she and his children would actually really love what he was getting.

Natasha laughed then turned over and moved closer to Y/N so that they were spooning with Y/N placing his chin on her shoulder. The two lovers planned on going back to sleep for a bit but the redhead couldn't help but ask.

"Well if you won't tell me about your big investment. Are you at least going to tell me about this 'tennis' incident?" Natasha queried once more.

Y/N chuckled a little and whispered into her ear "Absolutely not. Another thing you don't need to know about."

Natasha hit the mattress with her fist softly but still a little frustrated "Come on! Not even a few little details." She desperately tried to plead with Y/N who she was hoping would break any second.

Y/N sighed loudly before finally giving in, he found it excruciatingly difficult to not give in to the Black Widow when she was being adorable "Fine."

"Yay!" Natasha cheered, like with Wanda and Pietro, the Black Widow would only act a certain way around Y/N and no one else. She supposed that he just brought out that more fun and silly side to her.

"The only thing I'm telling you is that it involved Steve walking in on me with: A Brazilian girl, a Japanese girl, an Australian girl, a goat, a tennis racket and some balls........ Let your imagination run wild."

Natasha's pupils dilated as her mind tried to calculate what the hell possibly could've went down with one particular detail standing out to her "Did you just say......... a goat?"

"Yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh." Y/N shamefully strained out "Mistakes were definitely made. Good god........ The milk." Y/N shuddered at the thought, even he was repulsed by it and that said a lot considering his comfort zone was one of the widest things known to man.

Natasha then tapped her boyfriend on his thigh a few times with a cringed smile "You know what? Some things are better left unknown."

"You have chosen........... Wisely"

--

About an hour later, Natasha had gone off to train with Rhodey and Sam whilst Y/N went to meet Steve in the Avengers lounge where the Super Soldier was sitting on the sofa watching Nazi Megastructures on the History Channel, taking himself back to the glory days whilst drawing in his blank A4 notepad.

Y/N fished a six pack of beer bottles out of the fridge and then hopped over the sofa to sit next to Steve startling the war hero who exasperated as his heart jumped out of his mouth before quietly calming himself down.

"Hmmm you gonna paint me like one of your French girls Jack?" Y/N teased as he blew Steve a kiss after seeing the super soldier book of personal creations. "You should know that I usually charge to model."

"No, no I don't think I will." Steve responded with him promptly closing the notebook and placing it behind himself for safe keeping after being made uneasy following his friend's comments.

L/N huffed in disappointment and focused on the TV show instead "Say what you want about Hitler and the Nazis with the atrocities and shit but good god were they ahead of their time when it came to technology." Y/N gave his take on the Nazis which some might consider to be controversial.

Steve didn't even want to touch on that subject with Y/N because he knew that they could argue about that stuff all day long so brushed it to one side "You're lucky that you can't get drunk because if you were anyone else, I'd say you have a problem." Steve commented as he watched Y/N drink an entire bottle within seconds.

Y/N pulled the bottle from his lips then saw the trashcan a few metres away "Kobe!" He yelled as he threw the bottle straight into the bin with the glass shattering on impact.

"The Black mamba would've been proud of that one."

Y/N smiled at Venom's opinion before turning his attention back to Steve and scoffed at his previous remark "I'm a walking problem Steven, you of all people should know that."

Steve shook his head, knowing that Venompool was exactly that. The super soldier then passed Y/N the documents that he had beside him which he had been keeping safe "That's for you."

Y/N's face lit up like the sky full of fireworks "Oh! I love when See No Evil surprises me." Y/N said, referring to Murdock as he took the documents into his possession.

"Don't worry, I haven't looked inside." Rogers informed, respecting Y/N's privacy.

"I wouldn't have minded if you did." Y/N said thoughtlessly as he skimmed through the pages to see if everything was all in order.

"Well if you don't mind me asking, what's inside?" Steve questioned.

Y/N passed the open papers over to Steve which showed some legal documents, a few pictures of a town as well as the large plot of land that was out in the country which had a large greenery area along with a big red SOLD sign.

"I had one of my lawyers Foggy check over the legalities for me but I'm now the owner of a large plot of land in Westview, New Jersey."

"I figure that we'll still be doing this shit for a while so at least with land, the kids, Nat and I can build the house from scratch with whatever we want in it." Y/N explained his plan to the listening Rogers.

"You're building your dream house." Steve labelled L/N's long term project.

"Very seven year old girl way of putting it, but yes." Y/N agreed with how Steve coined it.

The was a a small curve if the lips from the Super Soldier "You really must love them if YOU of all people are future planning."

"I do, I mean, WE do." Y/N quickly corrected himself knowing that Venom also loved them as well "It's gonna sound really cliché but They're everything to us."

"I know they are." Steve agreed however there was a hint of sadness in his tone despite his meaningful intentions and Y/N seemed to pick up on it for a reason he knew all to well.

Y/N grabbed his Steve's hand in a friendly way and tapped it a few times which made the super soldier look at his closest friend "Don't worry Stevie, you'll get your happy ending one day. Just got to patient, shit look at me."

Steve hoped that Y/N was right but it was so hard when the only woman that he'd ever loved was slowly withering away in a hospital bed. Rogers wasn't quite sure what he would do with himself when the inevitable finally came to fruition as she was the only thing keeping him connected to a simpler time.

"I can see you're in deep thought so I'm going to let go of your hands before you fall in love me." Y/N said as he let go of Steve's hands and brought them back towards himself.

Rogers let out a small laugh at Y/N's statement, he knew that the mercenary was often good for that "You can't replace the woman in my heart." Steve stated assuredly.

Y/N played it as if he was upset "It's because she had Ringside seats to 'The Buffening' and I didn't isn't it. Lucky gal." Y/N cursed that Peggy got to witness Steve's transformation and he didn't.

For the next ten minutes or so, the duo continued to watch the TV documentary on innovation and designs that the Nazis had made during the Second World War which led to several jibes here and there from Y/N on certain subjects that still irritated him.

"I still can't believe you get hailed as a war hero and I get NO credit whatsoever for actually killing Hitler. Where's my documentary!? Where's my movie!? Where's my book!?...... Actually ignore that last one!"

"I still don't believe you actually did it, the History channel quite clearly says that he poisoned then shot himself." Rogers pointed straight to the flat screen TV to emphasise his point.

Y/N gave him a 'duh' expression "Well Poindexter, of course THEY say that because History's written by liars." Y/N then slapped Steve in the shoulder "If I ever die, I want you to promise me you'll let everyone know that I killed Hitler."

"You can't ask me to make a promise like that."

"Oh can't I?" Y/N mocked, he then suddenly poked Steve then he did it again then again and again and again "Why can't I? I think I can."

"Stop poking me. It's annoying." Steve complained whilst squirming as Y/N continued to literally press him.

"Not until you promise." He said loudly before jumping on top of Steve and getting him in a soft chokehold submission maneuver "Tap out."

"Would you get off of me, I'm watching TV." Steve tried to wiggle himself from Y/N's grasp but ultimately couldn't shake him off because the Merc was just too strong.

"You sound like a kid."

"You sound like a dad."

"Who would've thought this role reversal would ever happen?" Y/N questioned as he rolled Steve and himself onto the floor.

Y/N had let go of Steve and the pair were laughing as they looked up at the ceiling "You know I'm really proud of you especially with how you've stepped as a father."

"Stepped up like it was the Bottom of the Ninth." Y/N said as he got back to his feet and offered a hand to Steve who accepted before they both sat back down after the playful scuffle.

"You're training with them today right?" Steve asked.

"Yep, them and my favourite android.... In abooooout.." Y/N stated as he looked at his watch "Half an hour."

"Have you planned your training session like I've asked?" Steve said, hoping that Y/N was going to follow his and Romanoff's example of having an itinerary for their sessions.

"Nope!" Y/N exclaimed "Venom and I will improvise because that's what we do best. Right bud?" Y/N glanced slightly over his shoulder expecting the symbiote to appear which is exactly what happened.

Venom popped his head out "Damn straight, why make a plan when you can make one up on the spot?"

"Exactly and it works because I'm an underrated genius thus I have won this argument based on pure logic. SHAZAM!" Y/N defended whilst imitating a mic drop and an explosion "Besides if the woman who fucks me can't change my ways, you don't stand a chance." Y/N then shuffled himself closer to Steve and fluttered his eyelashes "Unless you're offering?" Y/N teased, doing a couple of overly dramatic winks.

Steve couldn't even muster up a response because his logical thinking was no match for Y/N's lunatic logic so just watched the rest of Nazi Megastructures episode in relative peace whilst occasionally reminiscing together on their experiences during World War 2.

--

After the TV show had reached it's conclusion, Y/N had gone back to his room to get changed into casual gym type wear to get ready to lead his training session with his children and Vision.

Y/N whistled down the corridor to the Training Room where he found the three people that he'd be training all in their suits for missions with them making their own entertainment whilst waiting for Y/N.

"This act seems rather dangerous for humans to be engaging in." Vision surmised, particularly at the very high probability for injury.

"Oh it's very dangerous but where's the fun if there's no risk." Pietro replied as the his sister and the android watched him perform the famous knife trick with his super speed.

"And what you are doing is a recreation from the Science Fiction slash horror movie directed by James Cameron, Aliens." Vision overanalysed.

"Yes." Wanda answered, not wanting to divulge in any extra information about the movie with Vision. "This is what I have to put up with." Wanda whispered up to Vision whilst her brother sped up at which he was stabbing the knife in between his fingers.

"My deepest apologies Wanda." Vision stated which made her giggle slightly, he hadn't intended it to be funny but found it to be quite an enjoyable outcome, with the sound to be quite lovely in his mind.

"WOAH! WOAH! WOAH!" Y/N started yelling which made Pietro stop what he was doing "What have I said about playing with knives?"

Pietro groaned loudly "We can only play with them when you're supervising us." He repeated the rule as Y/N took the knife off of him.

"You can have this back when you've earned it." Y/N said whilst irresponsibly pointing the pointed blade at his son to emphasise his point, L/N looked at each of the three before clapping his hands together once with the sound echoing throughout the room "So are we ready to begin?"

"Yep." Wanda said, loosening herself up to get ready to train hard.

"I guess." Pietro meekly responded, doing the exact opposite to Wanda.

"Certainly sir." Vision determinedly answered.

As per usual Pietro rolled his eyes at Vision's way of acknowledging Y/N "You don't have to call him Mr L/N or Sir you know." Pietro stated.

Wanda also got in on it as well "Actually why do you only call him Mr L/N or Sir? You don't do it with anyone else. It's not like he's the most formal person. No offense." Wanda queried as to why Y/N got the formal name rather than being called by his first name.

"None taken." Y/n shrugged off, he'd been called so much worse than that.

Vision was trying to calculate the correct response in his head with about a million different combinations playing out but it didn't seem to help him in the slightest, not wanting to give the REAL answer.

"W-well there's certainly no underlying reason for me calling you Mr L/N or Sir. It's merely a respectful term of endearment, because I have so much respect for you." The android spluttered out to the alien mercenary whilst the twins looked at him like he'd sprouted three heads.

"Suck up." Pietro tutted like he was the villain of a high school movie.

"Don't say that about him." Wanda immediately jumped to Vision's defense.

Vision stood by haplessly as he looked at the two siblings about to squabble yet there was a certain mercenary who knew how to nip it in the bud before it even got up and running. Y/N clicked his knuckles and loosened himself up before yelling with as much authority as he could.

"QUIET!"

(I'm very excited for Cobra Kai S5)

Pietro and Wanda both jumped straight out of their skins as if they were bouncing on pogo sticks whilst Vision remained completely neutral the entire time.

"That's better, a little bit of hush." The regenerating Merc then clapped his hands rubbed them together, figuring it was time to get started, he pointed to no one in particular "Cue the Montage. Rocky Style!"

https://youtu.be/ERT_7u5L0dc

(Eye of the Tiger by Survivor. Might be the best song of any Rocky Movie soundtrack.)

--

Y/N didn't don his usual Venompool suit like the other three mainly because unlike Captain America and Black Widow his training methods were much more radical as today he offered himself up to be a 'Human Punching Bag' of sorts.

The concept was simple enough. Y/N would simulate an attacker but allow himself to be vulnerable to attacks like 'regular' humans however because of his healing factor, it gave a sense of reality to the likes of his children to explore their powers on someone that could fight back.

It was sort of like when taking a practice paper for an exam, sure it's virtually impossible to factor in all the variables to create an identical atmosphere, but it gives you a pretty decent idea of what you need to do in order to succeed at the task at hand.

--

"Come on, come on, I want you to do it. I want you to hit me." Y/N said to the android as he prepared himself for what was to come. "Come on hit me! Hit me!" The mercenary demanded.

"I cannot Mr L/N." The Mind Stone wielder regretfully informed.

Due to his morals, Vision found it difficult to attack Y/N with energy blasts despite the latter's encouragement. It was much different to the regular inanimate targets that he was used to and he certainly knew that Y/N would be fine but it was like going against his programming of bringing harm for no good reason.

The influence was like Binary, it was all 1s & 0s and virtually no middle ground. This black and white thought processing was what made Vision feel disconnected from humanity, the lack of grey area in his decision making was what made him feel more android than human.

Of course this information was already known by Y/N so he would try to antagonise the synthezoid to really rile him up, so he briskly went over to his Sokovian daughter and whispered something in her ear with the Vision trying to listen in but was unsuccessful in his efforts.

Wanda smiled and nodded eagerly with Vision curious as to what was going on but got his answer when he saw Y/N get Wanda in a chokehold as he produced it from seemingly nowhere and held it to his daughter's temple.

"OH MY GOD HELP ME!" Wanda screamed 'fearing for her life' as a terrified expression appeared on her face, she kept her appearance strong then subtly whispering to Y/N "Is this good acting?"

"Maybe not Oscar worthy but keep this up and you'll get nominated for an Emmy one day." Y/N responded before focusing his attention back onto Vision "Now Vis, I am going to fire this gun in 5, 4, 3..."

Vision could tell he was being tested but had a legitimate motive to now attack, just as Y/N was finishing his countdown the synthezoid gritted his teeth then concentrated himself as the Mind Stone in his forehead began to glow as he controlled what he wanted to do.

Vision shot a yellow beam with razor sharp accuracy as it avoided Wanda altogether and connected right into Y/N's chest, sending him flying like a jet from his Sokovian daughter with his body thudding loudly as he landed harshly on the hard floor and sliding back a few more feet due to the velocity of the projectile.

Despite knowing that he could tank the blast, the trio immediately went over to see if Y/N was alright "I think I just shit my ass." Y/N mumbled as he sat up to reveal a large crevice in his chest which was just North of his heart and had burned all the way through.

"Ewwwww." Pietro grimaced at the sight as warm blood trickled out of the affected area.

Wanda put her hand behind Y/N's head "Are you alright?" Also squirming a little at Y/N's gross chest wound seeing the thin clouds of white smoke emerging from the wound.

"'Tis but a scratch." L/N merely replied.

"My apologies for bringing you harm Mr L/N." Vision apologised being as genuine as he could be.

L/N gestured to his current injury "That was bad." Y/N told Vision as his cells began to heal rapidly his injury back to it's normal state.

The android was internally horrified that he had let down the one person he wanted to get respect from. However before he had a neural overload, Y/N started laughing as he got back up "And by Bad, I mean Michael Jackson Bad!" Y/N added.

"So that's pretty good!" Venom backed up that Y/N was very impressed by Vision which was enhanced by Y/N patting him on the back several times.

The sudden change of emotions for Vision from negative to positive was comforting and something that he hoped he would be able to continue.

--

The Sokovian male was going to be tackling his abilities with his fists but whether it be an eagerness to learn or not particularly wanting to do it, he had picked up a set of nunchucks to attempt do some tricks with instead.

Y/N had shown his son a few things with nunchucks in particular but weapons training was not something the speedster was well versed in, and probably for good reason.

Pietro wanted to show off to his father as he started erratically swinging the nunchucks around with moderate success initially but given the boy's recklessness and super speed, it didn't take long until he ended up hurting himself with them.

Y/N chuckled as he put his hand over his face after what he had just witnessed as a mistake that had happened to him many times before when he first started training all those years ago so could empathise with the pain.

"Easy Fast and Furious, I LOVE the enthusiasm, but you're more of a danger to yourself than anyone else is to you." Y/N said as he dragged his son off of the ground to check to see if he was badly hurt which thankfully he wasn't, he'd just have a mark under his eye for the foreseeable future.

"Tis' a blessing and a curse." He acknowledged.

"Alright Shakespeare but maybe we'll hold off on the nunchucks for today." Y/N stated with a slight chuckle.

Pietro's body language drooped down a level "Fine." He reluctantly agreed "But will you teach me to use them sometime?"

Y/N smiled out of pride at his son's request "Definitely." He replied definitively, patting the speedster on the back a few times "Now come on, unfortunately we have to be serious." He stated in a brainless tone.

Now serious was in no way Y/N's style, yet when it came to his children's wellbeing then nothing else in the world would matter because he would do anything to make sure they were safe.

ANYTHING.

Soon after, the father and son were having a mini sparring session as the former was trying to hone in on the latter's abilities to punch properly yet again Y/N wasn't using his powers much to the Sokovian's advantage.

The Sokovian male took after Y/N in terms of his enthusiasm and not taking things too seriously however knew when to rein it in especially considering he needed to get to grips much more than Vision and Wanda when punching someone.

He needed to understand how much power to use when punching someone whilst using his super speed because punch too hard he'd kill someone whereas too little power, it would feel like a love tap.

Pietro stepped towards Y/N and landed a set of combination punches to L/N's upper body which from his perspective felt in normal time but in actuality was barely a few milliseconds as they punches took their affect on Y/N as he stumbled backwards.

L/N went down hard, not for the first and almost definitely not the last time either as Pietro just laughed "Ha! This is fun!" As he threw some more combos in mid air as celebration.

Y/N got back to his feet promptly wanting to nip Pietro's cockiness in the bud "Just wait until I use my powers." Y/N warned smugly.

The speedster's whole demeanor dropped like a tonne of bricks "Shit. Don't say that." Pietro said, with his face going as white as a sheet, knowing what Venompool could actually do.

--

Wanda had become fairly accustomed to using her telekinetic and psionic powers thanks to Y/N providing her with some meditation training in order to channel her focus to try and gain more ownership over her abilities.

Meditation was not something Wanda ever expected Y/N to be well versed in but she was still learning that her father was a book with a lot of weird and surprising chapters contained within it.

One of the key things to the strength of Wanda's powers was her mental state. Neither her or Y/N really knew the full extent of her powers but knew there were fluctuations depending on her current state of mind.

However for their one-to-one session today, the father and daughter weren't concentrating on how to use her powers but instead on Wanda confronting her own physical pain barrier with Y/N's unique methods coming into play once again.

"Y/N, I'm scared." Wanda admitted as she adjusted the Kevlar over her chest to ensure that all of her vital areas were covered just in case her father's aim was....... Miscalculated.

"Wanda, sweetheart, you gotta be a big girl now." Y/N told his daughter, standing roughly 12 feet away from her as he put one in the chamber of his handgun before taking the safety off "There's nothing to be afraid of."

"Is it gonna hurt?" The teenage girl asked tentatively continuing to absentmindedly readjust her safety wear for maximum coverage.

Y/N let out a soft, gentle laugh "Oh child.......... Only for a second." Y/N confessed to his anxious daughter "Now a handgun bullet travels at more than...." Y/N asked an open ended question to Wanda hoping she would answer it.

The brunette sighed, wanting two things: 1 - To not be there at all and 2 - For this to be over quickly "700 miles per hour." She unenthusiastically answered.

"700 miles per hour." The mercenary repeated "Now at close range like this, the force is gonna take you off your feet for sure but really it's no more painful than a punch in the chest." He explained with a constant smile and in a relaxing parental tone that made Wanda feel safe.

"I hate getting punched in the chest." Wanda murmured to herself, knowing that this was really going to suck. The brunette inhaled deeply before exhaling slowly, her breath far less shaky after Y/N's honest explanations.

"You're gonna be fine baby doll." Y/N announced as he pulled up his gun and shot the gun right into his daughter's chest.

What Y/N said would happen, came to fruition precisely as he predicted with Wanda being knocked flat onto her back, gasping immediately to perhaps let herself know that she was okay "That wasn't so bad." Wanda exasperated as she sat up and took the bullet out of her Kevlar vest.

"Fun right? I used to do this most days. Shit, still do now." Y/N said as he made his way over to his downed daughter.

Wanda flicked the bullet to the side with the metal clinking on the floor as it made contact "Fun.... Not the word I'd use."

"Well now you know how it feels so you won't be scared when some junkie asshole pulls a Glock." Y/N stated as he leveled with his daughter on the purpose of the lesson.

"I wouldn't have been scared anyways." Wanda instantaneously replied.

A prideful smile rolled across Y/N's face "That's my girl." He softly said as he pulled her to her feet "Now two more rounds and then we're done." He said as he walked back to his previous position whilst loading two bullets into the magazine.

"Again!?" Wanda yelled out of shock. Now whilst it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be, she figured that she might as well try and get something out of it "Alright but only if I can have a hot fudge sundae afterwards."

"Huh." Y/N pondered for a short moment on his daughter's proposition, tapping his chin as he thought "Two more rounds. No wincing. No whining. And you've got yourself a deal young lady!"

"Awes-AGHHH!" Wanda began to celebrate at her victory however it was short lived as she was shot unexpectedly by her father once again.

"One More Round!"

--

The three were then tasked with taking on Y/N in hand to hand combat without powers which they found to be one hell of a challenge. The trio received intense training from Black Widow, Captain America and their current opponent as more of a contingency plan if anything ever caused them to lose their powers.

Whilst all three had made strong progress over the last year or so, they were still relatively new to combat compared to the seasoned veteran that was Venompool, whose fighting prowess was much more than second nature to him as he stayed in pristine condition, barely getting a scratch on him whilst avoiding and countering attacks from his three adversaries.

"Come on guys! This is like fighting a bunch of NPC's!" Y/N taunted as he continued to evade and counter attacks.

Y/N's taunts and jibes were only adding to the frustration of barely being able to land any sort of attack on him but they all realised how much worse it would be for his enemies and how even more infuriating it would be for them.

Thank god they stayed on his good side.

--

The quartet had trained rigorously for the past few hours and were finally done much to the relief of the twins whose bodies were oozing fatigue, Vision was completely fine due to the simple fact of being a vibranium android and Y/N was well, Y/N.

The Sokovian twins were sitting down on the floor looking sweaty and tired after the gruelling training session with Y/N joining them shortly after, bringing each a bottle of water to rehydrate.

"I'm going to meet with James." Vision announced to the sat down trio, preparing to take his leave.

"James? Is a he a new guy or something?" Y/N queried Vision as he looked over his shoulder.

There was visible confusion amongst the ranks as the Maximoffs and the Vision looked at each other "Colonel James Rhodes." Vision answered after a few seconds of disbelief.

This was the Headline Of The Day for Venompool "Rhodey's first name is James?" Venom questioned his host because he was clueless right now.

"This is news to me." Y/M admitted, being just as clueless as his symbiote.

"You honestly didn't know Rhodey's first name was James? Ha!" Pietro completely believed that to be the truth as he squirted some water down his throat.

Y/N just shrugged his shoulders, shocked that this is knowledge he almost certainly should've known previously "Well I always knew him as Rhodey or War Machine, huh learn something new everyday."

"You amaze me." Wanda said, slightly mystified.

"Thank you."

Vision had gotten dressed into smart attire of a collared shirt, sweater and khakis. He had tried casual clothes that the others would wear like hoodies and jeans however they never felt right to him hence he went with smarter attire often looking like he worked in an office rather than for the Avengers.

The android said his quick goodbyes to L/N and the Maximoffs whilst thanking his trainer for the lessons of the day that he had learned before going to meet up with James Rhodes and leaving the trio on their own, with Y/N still skeptical of that being Rhodey's first name.

"So my dear children, big plans for tonight?" Y/N asked, hoping to get the exclusive, inside scoop to his children's social lives.

"Zip. Just go with the flow" Pietro answered.

"I'm not doing anything either." Wanda replied "Have you got much planned?"

"Make dinner for Nat and I, and you two if you're hungry. Then just relax and chill. Nothing too OTT." Y/N briefly summarised the likely events of the rest of his day.

"That's a very tame evening for you then." Wanda narrowed it down even more which Y/N nodded in agreement.

"You know you two should really start trying to meet someone yourselves, I'll tell you there's no feeling like it." Y/N attempted to encourage his children to make their mark on a special someone especially considering they weren't the most trusting kids, for good reason.

Wanda chuckled ironically "Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean we need ones." As she answered she caught her brother giving her a smug look as if he had insider information.

"Given that you've adopted mine and your mother's good looks, I'd be very much hoping that you'd aiming for higher than ones. I'm thinking like eights or higher." Y/N said, completely twisting Wanda's words to create a new meaning.

Wanda rolled her eyes "Well if there's half as much PDA involved as there is between you and Nat then I'll pass."

Pietro nodded his head rapidly in agreement "Yeah I really don't need to see that shit."

Y/N pouted at his daughter and son "Hey you're only mad because you two never get any." He teased, booping both of them on their noses. Y/N certainly had no guilt about being romantically involved with the Black Widow. Hell why would he?

"I get girls, I mean look at me." Pietro did his best model pose to try to amplify his looks.

"Really?" Wanda said in playful disbelief "Do tell."

"Happily, I met one the other day when I was at the bar who was like a 16." Pietro boasted about a girl he had met when he was out doing teenage boy things especially since he was 18 now and had more of a sense of freedom.

"She was 16!?" Wanda yelled out in horror, completely misunderstanding her brother.

"Jesus! No! A 16. Like in Blackjack." Pietro reiterated.

Y/N could see the perspective Pietro was coming from as he had been in that position many times before "As in not sure whether you'd hit or not?"

"Exactly!"

Y/N felt a jolt of energy fire throughout his entire body "That's my son." Y/N said to Wanda as held out his fist to Pietro who immediately fist bumped back.

"You must be so proud." Wanda stated without a flicker of emotion or even movement in her face.

"Believe me I am." Y/N said which earned a prideful smile from the speedster "Don't worry I'm proud of you too." Y/N said, not making his daughter feel left out.

"Thanks." Wanda said in a joyless sort of manner.

"Well Pietro has shared with the group, I think it's only fair that you do as well." Y/N tried to encourage Wanda to open up about her love life.

"M-Me!?" The Sokovian girl stuttered, immediately hiding the red hue her face had with her long brunette locks "Oh there's... No one I'm interested in."

Now Pietro could have sat by like an innocent bystander and fine nothing, but he had L/N blood in his veins so troublemaking was the only option as he smirked in the direction of his sister, choosing to completely drop her in it "Oh Wanda's DEFINITELY got her eye on someone."

Wanda gave him a hard smack on the shoulder coupled with a seething look that could kill "Pietro! Shut up!" She turned to Y/N "He's completely lying by the way." She defended, trying to cover her own tracks. Poorly though.

The Merc was not too convinced and neither was his symbiote as Venom came out of Y/N's shoulder and began sniffing the air "Y/N, do you smell that?"

Y/N began sniffing the air as well before nodding along "Smells like bullshit to me."

Pietro got in on the teasing as well "Yeah and I think it's coming from Wanda's direction."

Wanda glared at everyone "I hate you all."

Venom laughed before going back inside Y/N's body with the mouthy man getting his daughter in a side hug "No you don't." He said with the brunette resting her head on Y/N's shoulder "Now spill the beans."

Wanda wondered to herself why Y/N was acting like a gossiping teenager desperate to know anything and everything "Remind me again how old you are?"

"Old enough to have wisdom but young looking enough to be involved in the hot goss."

Wanda crossed her arms defiantly "And what if I don't want to?" She asked confidently, head held high turned slightly away from Y/N, determined not to get be anything up.

Y/N narrowed his eyes at Wanda, seeing that she was going to play difficult with him "I've got ways of making you talk."

Pietro whistled in mock fear as his whole body winced "Jeez I'd tell him Wands, I've heard about his torture methods, he might go medieval on your ass."

"No, no, no, no, no, no." Y/N shook his head rapidly whilst saying at a similar speed before glancing down at Wanda "I've got something SO much worse."

Wanda had to admit she felt a slight pit of doubt build up inside her stomach and unfortunately for her, she was right to feel that way as Y/N yelled

"VENOM NOW!"

Venom formed tendrils which quickly wrapped around Wanda before she could react and kept her close to him "Are you gonna tell me?"

"Nope." She answered immediately despite still being in Venom's grip.

"Fine." Y/N said in a slightly defeated way "But that was me being reasonable."

"What are you-" Wanda wasn't able to finish her sentence as she was cut off by Y/N rapidly and relentlessly tickling her to within an inch of her life.

Now the little witch was extremely ticklish and was set off by even just brushing her sides so there was no way in hell that she could prevent the loud stream of infectious giggles that she was illiciting during her father's tickling onslaught.

"Y/N!!! HAHAHAHA STOP!"

Wanda was begging Y/N to stop but he continued tickling her up her ribs, under her arms and on her neck all with a huge grin like a Cheshire cat all whilst Wanda was giggling and squirming. Meanwhile, the silver haired speedster was rolling on the floor laughing his ass off and physically struggling to breathe with his ribs poking right into his lungs.

"Alright! Alright! I might have a slight crush!" Wanda confessed, hoping that would end her father's tickling attack.

Wanda's hopes were soon realised as he and Venom released Wanda from their grasp allowing the Sokovian brunette to catch her breath "See was that so difficult?"

"You have no idea." Wanda breathlessly stated.

"You know it's a good thing you told me because I happen to be an expert in love." Y/N profoundly claimed, earning eye rolls from both teens "Falling into it, out of it... Making it." The overly talkative man added.

"ONE YEAR in a relationship and suddenly you think you're The Love Guru." Venom tried to bring Y/N back down to Earth however it was never going to work.

"Don't ever bring that Mike Myers Trainwreck movie up again in my presence." Y/N seethed at the Symbiote for allowing Y/N to have thoughts subjected to the 2008 disaster film.

"Wha- I'm going to shut up now." Venom said, giving up there and then, disappearing into his host's body to just listen in.

"SO who is the lucky guy, girl, mutant, deity, animal..." The list would have gone on had Wanda not used her powers to sew his lips together, momentarily making him the Merc Without A Mouth.

"Can you listen and not talk?" Wanda requested with wide eyes to emphasise her point, Y/N jiggled his head to the side and hummed in response with the sound roughly making out to be 'maybe'.

Wanda knew that was probably the best that she was going to be getting so reluctantly removed the temporary binds on Y/N's ability to speak which the regenerating man was thrilled about "Way to give me X-Men Origins flashbacks." Y/N muttered to himself.

"Oh hush, are you ready to listen now?"

"Closed lips, open ears." He said pulling an invisible zip over his lips and cupping his hands over his ears.

Wanda saw her father grin at her ready to listen to what she had to say whilst Pietro smirked just wanting to see Y/N's reaction. The Sokovian girl was in no way convinced that either her father or brother were a hundred percent serious but she'd take take the hand she was dealt.

"W-well." She began to stutter without even realising it as a few droplets of sweat began to run down the sides of her face "He's someone you know." She started in a slightly higher than normal pitch.

"He's a he, narrows it down."

"He's really smart."

"Narrows it down."

"He makes me laugh."

"Obviously not as much as me." Y/N boasted immediately with Wanda replying with a long 'ehhhhhhhhh' which utterly surprised L/N "Breaking your old man's heart."

"And he's red."

That last little statement immediately threw Y/N as he tried to think of all the smart, funny, red people that he knew of and after a few seconds mental deliberation, his pupils dilated like he had just injected himself with bath salts "Oh fuck! It's Tony isn't it?" Y/N then immediately put his middle fingers up at the security camera "That metal suited bastard is probably laughing at MY expense right now! WELL FUCK YOU STARK!"

The Maximoff twins just looked at each other and tried their best at trying to contain their laughter with Y/N looking pretty pissed when he saw their expressions "Oh I see how it is! This you getting revenge on me!" L/N crossed his arms and turned away from them in a huff.

"You aren't half dramatic sometimes." Wanda said through a smile.

"I'll have you know I'm all dramatic all of the time.i don't like to half-arse something."

Despite her father's overdramatics and also her brother's pleading to keep the bit going, the Sokovian girl decided to put Venompool out of his misery "Y/N, it's not Tony."

Y/N's ears perked up minimally at the sound of that information as he turned around slowly with keen interest, a silence brewing as he looked at the siblings briefly before launching himself at them and hugging them tightly "Oh thank Jesus, Mary and Joseph and the wee donkey!"

The Maximoffs awkwardly chuckled at L/N's actions "You seem glad that it's not Tony."

Y/N finally let go of the two teenagers who were glad to have control of their bodies once more "Put it this way, you just saved me from going on a Facebook-esque rant which would have definitely led to a chorus of 'You Okay Hun?' comments from the gals down at the salon."

Pietro jiggled his head from side to side because he was still unsure of how Venompool would actually react "Well you still might be able to have your rant when Wanda tells you who it actually is."

"The tension is slowly killing me, which is quite the achievement so congratulations on that."

Wanda let out a long sigh, she thought she'd do it quick and rip it off like a bandage "It's Vision!" She said so quickly that it would have given her brother's speed a run for his money however her majorly enhanced father still managed to catch it.

"Did she just say Vision? I heard Vision, did you hear Vision?"

The Symbiote and the Merc were both equally shocked "Wow! Really!?" Y/N wasn't exactly expecting his name and couldn't help the chuckle that left his mouth "Damn, E.T Grow Bone."

The twins had very contrasting reactions to that little comment, Pietro started laughing whilst Wanda gave Y/N a hard smack in the arm for good measure which was quickly followed by one for her brother as well.

Unfortunately those whacks didn't deter her brother's teasing of her choice in men or in this case, robots "How does it feel knowing you wanna bone Amazon's Alexa?" Pietro taunted as Wanda glared straight into his soul, the speedster then did a terrible knock off impression of his twin sister "Alexa, remind me when it's Sex O'Clock."

"Shut. Up." Wanda ordered, clearly getting more agitated by the second as she was continuing to glare straight into her brother's soul.

"What's he got down there? A USB stick, those things are small or maybe he's got a long cable between his legs. At least you'll never have any problems getting him hard." The speedster continued to taunt.

"Alright, that's enough." Y/N tried to say with authority but it fell completely on deaf ears.

Pietro was really pushing the boundaries now and before he could get off another jab at Wanda, he was threatened by his twin sister "Say one more thing and I'll get Nat to 'have a word' with Agent Johnson!" Wanda warned and now L/N was even more intrigued.

The speedster went as still as a statue as soon as those words left his sister's mouth "One. That's just evil and Two, it's Daisy we're actually on a First Name basis thank you very much." Pietro corrected just to be a bit more annoying.

"Wow, we are so out of the loop." He said, as both he and L/N knew nothing of Wanda or Pietro's love lives "Is this what being a parent feels like?"

"If movies and TV have taught me anything about parenthood. It's that we know nothing until the kids tell us or we start snooping around." L/N responded.

"Shit. We're old." Venom stated, whilst it was a true statement with age comes wisdom and Y/N was about to bestow that upon his children.

"Do you guys want some advice?" The mercenary spoke up.

"Bye. I'm gonna find Daisy." Pietro zoomed off out of the training room, content with how his relationships were going and also with not hearing what he imagined was going to be advice drawn from explicit experiences that he did not need or wanted to know.

"How rude, I consider my wisdom to be priceless."

Wanda rolled her eyes at her father's usual egotistical responses "I'm sure you do."

With just Wanda and him left in large training area, Y/N decided to pry a little into his daughter's life "So Vision eh?" He started off about as simply as he could rather than let awkwardness build up "You wanna tell me about that?"

The brunette shrugged her shoulders "I don't really know what it is but I feel like there's something there, if you understand." Wanda explained, she hadn't quite grasped the concept of her emotions as it was t something shed experienced before but it made her nervous and excited at the same time.

"I understand, but you're only 18 Wands, feel free to step back and think before you rush into eating that big ol' bowl of pornflakes." The Merc advised in his own unique way.

"I'm gonna listen to the first part and ignore the rest because that's gross." Wanda stated, a little bit of vomit forming in her throat.

"Hey that's just who I am." Y/N chuckled, never apologising for being the weirdest guy in the room.

"You are unapologetically yourself." Wanda stated, kinda jealous that she didn't inherit that trait from her father but maybe it would come with time "It would be nice to not feel like your every move is being judged." She commented with sadness entering her features, still feeling as though many still haven't changed their perception on her or her brother after Ultron.

Y/N saw the upset look on her face "Come here kid." Y/N said offering her a hug to cheer her up. Wanda really wasn't one to turn it down as she was brought into a hug by L/N. Venom also extended two tendrils from Y/N's ribcage to hug the Sokovian as well who had a big smile on her face.

"This is nice." Wanda stated, with her breaking the silence for a change.

L/N smiled as the pair broke the hug but Y/N kept his arms around the brunette's shoulders as he prepared to enlighten the teenager with some knowledge.

"You know Sweetheart, you have to find someone suitable for you and accepts you just as you are, flaws and all and if Vision is that dude then I am happy having grandchildren that shit fire or piss lightning."

The Sokovian furrowed her eyebrows, it started off well but slowly tailed off a bit "Going a bit far, but the sentiment is still nice."

"Look at me for instance. one of the reasons I like Natasha is that she isn't one these women whose life is like the inside of Tinkerbell's vagina. Instead she has the American Psycho vibe which I dig."

"Again." The brunette said, needing to take a minute to process what she'd just been told "A little bit too much information than I'm wanting." Wanda echoed her previous statement.

Y/N held up his hands defensively "All right then, I'll give you less information. You've said what you like about him so why don't you just tell him?" Y/N attempted to encourage his daughter to follow her heart if that's what she wanted to do.

"Really? I'm not that confident."

"Alright!" Y/N enthusiastically said as he really wanted to help out Wanda in any way that he as he shimmied his butt on the floor so that he was face to face with the Sokovian "Pretend I'm Vision."

Wanda's eyes bulged out of her head, almost the size of her stomach "Oh no." Wanda nervously chuckled "I'm not roleplaying with you."

There was suddenly an awkward silence stemming from Wanda's statement which within a few seconds was shattered by the mouthy Merc "Well now you've just made it weird." Y/N stated.

"I'VE made it weird?" The Sokovian pointed at herself.

"Yes, thank you for taking responsibility. How very grown up of you." Y/N gleefully stated with his charismatic grin and despite her initial annoyance, she couldn't prevent the smile that landed on her lips.

"Do you think Vision is good for me?" She queried, his opinion would unlikely sway her but she thought it would be interesting to hear his thoughts - as long as she got a serious answer.

Y/N smacked his lips together like a horse, not expecting this question "Only you can answer that but I reckon you have to think about two things."

"What's that?"

Y/N put up his fingers to count the reasons "If they're right for you and what you want from it."

They'd already touched upon the first reason but she was curious about the second one "What I want from it?"

Perhaps an out of character move from the mercenary but he was about to drop some wisdom that he'd picked up along the way "Right now you have the blessing and curse of being young, do you want something like a short term fling or long term relationship? Etcetera etcetera. My opinion, you might want to figure that one out early otherwise you'd just be wasting each other's time and both end up getting hurt in the process........ Of course it might help talking to Vis first."

Wanda was very surprised at what she was listening to "Wow....... When the hell did you get so wise?" Wanda chuckled, unlike her usual conversations with Y/N - nothing of what he had just said seemed unhelpful.

Once again, Y/N flashed his charismatic grin after Wanda complimented his brain workout "Oh it's always been there. I only save it for special occasions and people though."

"So I'm one of the lucky ones."

"Of course!" Y/N exclaimed "I am here for you and your brother anytime, because any mistakes that you've made or are thinking of making, I've definitely done them a hundred times worse." Y/N stated as he had been in his fair share of situations of all different shapes and sizes over his life.

"Thanks Y/N." Wanda said graciously, despite only having her father for just over a year, he'd really become very important to her and her brother, although he was much less likely to admit it.

"Anytime little witch." There was a momentary window of silence as the father and daughter just enjoyed one another's company however as per usual Y/N had to end it "I'll just wait for Vision to hurry up and murder you so I can grieve properly." Y/N joked in a whisper earning a murderous glare from Wanda whose eyes glowed red with a deadpanned expression.

"Kidding!" Y/N exclaimed, fearing for his life a little "You can turn your eyes normal again." He requested which Wanda did a few seconds later before smirking.

Wanda had perhaps learned more than she thought she would from Y/N, maybe he was right about not rushing into things and maybe analysing the options that she had before she acted - it could be Vision but she'd also remembered the prior evening of L/N mentioning that Spider-Man had a crush on Wanda.

Just after the father and daughter had finished talking, right on cue, Pietro sped back into the Training Room with a vanilla ice cream in a cone in one hand and some light pink cotton candy in the other which he licked and took a bite of respectively to eat them together.

"Couldn't find Daisy so I got these instead." Pietro summarised where he'd been before he chowed down on the sweet treats.

"You're gonna have a heart attack or end up being tremendously fat if you keep eating like this." Wanda warned her brother about his excessive eating habits.

"Exactly! So I might as well enjoy it while it lasts." Pietro stated before taking another bite of each "Besides you don't have to eat as many calories in a day as I do."

"I'm so jealous." Wanda said emotionlessly, however her facial features slightly shifted into one of gaining an idea of how to mess with her brother.

Now whilst she wasn't as mischevious as her twin, she was still her father's daughter so even though she wouldn't admit it - troublemaking kinda came naturally to her.

The brunette flicked her hand subtly in the direction of Pietro where her red magic made contact with his temple and incidentally placed an image inside of his mind, one where he was not just fat but as round as a ball like Violet Beauregarde when she swelled up like a blueberry.

Pietro's mini nightmare only increased when he had a delicious looking strawberry ice cream cone in his hand which he tried to direct towards his mouth however his stubby little arms made it impossible as he tried to force his mouth towards the dairy delight instead with no success.

"Damn you ice cream, come to my mouth." He insulted as he spewed droplets of spittle whilst still trying to force the ice cream in his mouth "How dare you disobey me?"

Whilst Pietro was having an overdramatic freakout , Wanda just watched on until the Sokovian girl thought she should stop, Y/N also watched on but figured he knew what was happening "You doing your mindgames again?"

"Only for another minute or so."

"That's my girl."

--

The Maximoff siblings had been dismissed by L/N however their break was short-lived when they were stopped by Steve on the way back to their rooms who had told them of an important upcoming mission which would require as many people as possible.

For around half an hour, he had debriefed Wanda and Pietro who went to get ready despite being pretty worn out from the day's events but hey that was the life of an Avenger, you're always kept on your toes.

Rogers had went to immediately find L/N with the twins suggesting that he would still be in the Training Room where he'd stayed behind to tidy up the equipment they'd used during the day. The super soldier heard some questionable singing coming from inside the training room

"The boys. Break their necks. Tryna creep a little sneak peek." Y/N was singing along.

"At us!" Venom adlibbed.

Steve knew he'd found L/N and Venom after hearing them duet together, he entered to see the mercenary randomly dancing whilst he was putting singular bullets into the magazines of some guns.

"Ooh oh ooh! California Gurls we're unforgettable." Sang along in a higher pitched tone to attempt to match Katy Perry's, the results being debatable at best but that never deterred the mercenary.

"Y/N." Steve said, trying to get his attention.

"Daisy Dukes."

"Y/N!" Steve shouted, getting progressively louder like a mother shouting up the stairs to her kid.

"Bikinis on top."

Steve figured that shouting was a bit of a lost cause so instead walked up to the mercenary and tapped him quite hard on the shoulder causing L/N and Venom to squeal in fear before jumping up into the unsuspecting super soldier's arms.

Y/N was producing fake tears whilst Steve stood there with L/N in his arms and a blank expression on his face "Uh Y/N, what are you doing?"

As per usual Y/N always had an answer "Testing our friendship, I wanted to see if you would catch me." Venompool grinned.

"So you knew I was there the whole time?" Rogers questioned.

"Well duh." Venom stated before going back inside his host's body.

Y/N silently agreed with his symbiote, his eye movements reminding Captain America of his many enhancements and abilities. However he paid for that when Steve immediately dropped Y/N onto the hard floor "That was rude." Y/N said as he got back to his feet "I like this side of you."

Ignoring Y/N's comments, Steve decided to be all work and no play "How did training go today?" He said.

"Well it was with me, so it was fucking phenomenal." Y/N gloated.

"Good." Steve figured that Y/N was exaggerating but also had a strong amount of faith in his friend's abilities despite their differing methodologies.

"Well I know you too well that we're not having a performance review so what has made you interrupt our karaoke night rehearsal? If you hadn't noticed we were planning on identifying as Katy Perry."

"Well, I've just told Wanda and Pietro this so make sure that you listen carefully." Steve said in his most authoritative voice as it sounded like it was going to be the start of a lot of information.

"Oh god, here he goes again. Not even ten seconds before he starts boring us with his important information shit!"

"We've got a lead on Rumlow, the best one we've had in months." Steve continued with important looking hand gestures as Y/N looked at him aimlessly.

Y/N liked Steve, obviously, but when he would drone on about important military strategic shit in his serious and 'Captain-y' tone, the immortal of all people felt as though it was time that he would never, EVER get back.

"He's in Lagos." Y/N briefly managed to get as he stared at Steve and let him continue talking.

"We can't shoot ourselves in the head again can we?"

"Nah, the clean up was awful last time."

"Well that's a big pile of pigeon sick."

"Now this is the important part." Steve continued explaining in what Y/N thought was a dull as dishwater tone.

"I'm having so much fun. I'm having so much fun. I'm having so much fun!" Y/N tried to convince himself whilst simultaneously trying to wish it into existence but had to settle for using his vast imagination to numb the boredom so just daydreamed that he was on the coolest thing he could think of.

"Did you get all that?" Steve queried.

Y/N woke up from his temporary open eyed daze that he had fallen into "Uhh yeah, loud and clear." He lied as he saluted ironically.

Now usually Steve was good at telling when someone was lying but with Y/N he was really having to fire blind most of the time due to his less than normal behaviour "Good, all of us minus Vision and Rhodey are going out to Lagos to investigate Rumlow." Steve informed L/N.

Y/N knew that Rumlow had been a pain in the ass of Steve ever since he'd miraculously escaped custody of the freakin' government a while ago so taking a serious Hydra agent down for good would be a weight off of everyone's mind.

However as much as Y/N would love to layeth the smackdown on some Hydra agents, he already had plans in place which was a date with his second favourite person to wear a Black Catsuit, quite literally.

"That's amazing!" Y/N exclaimed in a joyous tone and kept up the tone to deliver the bad news "And as much as I'd love to take down Ol' Crossbones. I have got some very important business investments to attend to with my guy!" Y/N said ecstatically, hoping his gleeful delivery would soften the blow.

It did not.

Steve wasn't pleased at all to hear this damning piece of information from Y/N "You couldn't have said that before I started speaking."

"Sounded like you needed to get it off your chest, Who am I to not lend an ear? --- SHIT! Why didn't I literally do that?"

"Because that's disgusting, unsanitary and ridiculous."

"And all yours for the low price of one hundred dollars?" Y/N dragged out the last syllables in the hope of making some very easy money.

"In your dreams." Steve monotonously stated before trying to revert the conversation back on topic "You can't postpone these business meetings until another time?" He questioned, believing that Y/N's presence on this mission could be vital.

"Sorry Vanilla Ice. My guy is a very busy man so his time, and mine, are very valuable. However he is also down in Africa so I'll take a lift if you're offering."

"I swear to god, this had better not be for more 'brand' stuff." Steve warned, not overly fond of Y/N's moneymaking schemes of turning Venompool into a brand.

"Hey don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful, I just have a very good business brain so if you're looking to blame anyone, blame my brain."

"I-" Steve wasn't able to finish as there was a boasting Y/N ready to beat him to it.

"Plus you can't argue the Venompool brand is doing A-MAZ-ING darling." Y/N then started to rattle off things on his fingers that he'd achieved "I'm a comic book, I'm a cereal, did a Christmas album, I have an excellent theme song and a uh.... A so so popsicle."

"Oh my god! Are you listing things off from your brand again!?" Sam questioned as he entered the room with Venompool and Captain America, his head feeling as though it was about to spontaneously combust if there he had to hear about the 'VP Brand & Merch' anymore.

"Well I'm guessing you don't want to hear about my upcoming Playboy shoot." Y/N teased the approaching Sam.

Wilson grimaced at the idea of a Y/N L/N Playboy shoot "I'll add that to the list of things I'll never be able to read again."

Y/N chortled "Hard task when the pages are all stuck together."

"Ha ha ha." Falcon made an obvious fake laughing expression in L/N's direction "You're so funny."

That little comment, sarcastic as it may be, brought a bright smile to Y/N's face "Thank you I'm here all week........ Except for this mission that Cap wants me to go which I'm very much NOT here for."

Ignoring the adolescent banter going on around him, Steve was noticeably more nervous than when he had first come in. Not having Y/N available for a mission like this was a real hammer blow to the probability of success and had definitely left a sour taste in Cap's mouth as well as putting him in a bit of a sour mood.

Steve was slightly frustrated because Venompool had been pretty commited over the last year to pulling back on the mercenary work and despite not loving his ventures in marketing himself as well as focus on more legitimate money making. He had also seen the amount of aiding, training and going on missions (despite the initial reluctance to do so) and found his work out in the field producing unprecedented results.

However Y/N was only one man..... Well two if you count Venom but the hitters that they did have were pretty heavy ones so he figured that with the reinforcements that would be in Lagos, that they'd be able to get the job done.

"I suppose you have been on a fair few missions." Steve said thoughtlessly "Plus we do have myself, Sam, Nat, Wanda and Pietro so we've got a good team........ So I'll allow it this one time."

"Fuckin' A!" Y/N snorted as he hit Steve in the arm far too hard "Let's be honest, you just don't wanna bench the MVP of the Avengers?"

"Nah, it's just because we won't have our resident DJ for the trip." Sam joked.

"That's actually more of a compliment." Y/N beamed.

"I don't want to 'bench you' because.." Steve took a deep breath before he spoke, knowing he wouldn't live it down for a while "I know that I can rely on you for almost anything."

Y/N surprisingly didn't have a teasing grin on his face but one of pride instead as he looked at Wilson, feeling as though he'd one upped him "I take it back, that's more of a compliment."

Sam just rolled his eyes in response knowing that Y/N often made fun of Falcon for being a Captain America fan boy despite Rogers and Wilson being close friends for about two years now.

Steve patted Y/N on the back "We leave in three hours, go and get your things packed so we can get going."

Y/N furrowed his eyes at the choice of words "Alright Captain Dad." The mercenary gave a childlike thumbs up to Rogers and Wilson before spinning on his heel to go back to his room leaving the two to talk over some strategies for the upcoming mission.

"I'm so excited for this trip!" Venom gleamed at the prospect of where they were going. "They'll be fine without us right?"

Y/N scoffed, despite his own inflated ego, he knew a team of Captain America, Black Widow, Falcon, Wanda and Pietro could catch a criminal like Rumlow in their sleep "Yeahhhh!" He waved off "What's the worst that could happen without us?"

"Ha!" The Symbiote exclaimed "Famous Last Words." The Klyntar joked with his host.

Little did they know.

--
THREE HOURS LATER

"Can you move it along!? I'm all out of time cards!" The Klyntar yelled at his host, choosing to not to help with packing but instead flicking through an old magazine.

"I'm ready! I'm ready!" Y/N said as he packed his duffle bag full of guns, blades and other essentials that you need for a business trip. Of course with Steve saying that they were leaving in three hours, Y/N left everything to the very last possible second.

"Really?" The Klyntar huffed as he waited for his host to get himself together.

Y/N had literally been throwing things into his bag at a breakneck speed with very little care for what was actually being packed, he was just hoping that Steve wasn't going to take off without him. The mercenary dashed out of his room then outside to the hangar to see that the Avengers jet had still not taken off yet, much to his relief.

"Oh thank god, I hate having to organise my own transport." Y/N said to Venom as he strolled up to the Quinjet.

"Yeah and I'm not in swimming mood today." Despite probably being able to get to Africa quicker by swimming the pair there, Venom just enjoyed being a nuisance, a trait he'd adopted from being bonded to Y/N for so many years.

As the oldest Avenger walked onto the aircraft, he could see the team for the mission - Steve, Wanda, Pietro and Sam were all there with Natasha taking the role as pilot for this journey. The mercenary chucked his bag down underneath a seat opposite his kids "Fashionably late." He stated.

The speedster tapped his wrist to his invisible watch "About time Y/N, my clothes are going out of style." Pietro impatiently said as he leaned back in his seat.

"They already are Pietro." His sister teased.

"Shut up."

Y/N wrapped his arms from behind of Natasha who was fiddling with the controls as the team prepared for take off "Oh stewardess, stewardess what's the in-flight movie today?"

Natasha clicked her tongue "Unfortunately we don't have a TV on board."

The mercenary and Symbiote shook their head in disappointment "Fifty bazillion dollars pumped into the Avengers and we can't get a TV in our transport." The host quietly commented.

The redhead smirked as she yanked Y/N down by his collar and whispered in his ear "I'm sure I can keep you entertained." Black Widow pointed to her bag that was an the adjacent seat in the Cockpit "Laptop is in there with Season 6 of Game Of Thrones downloaded."

Y/N gasped before pecking his girlfriend on the lips "Ohhhhhh where would I be without you?" He questioned as he picked up the laptop eagerly.

"Probably bored senseless, playing with yourself."

"Maybe bored senseless, but playing with myself? Not in front of the children."

"How could I forget that you're all grown up now." The assassin said, her words dripping with sarcasm.

"I think I'm actually the most grown up of anyone in the Avengers." Y/N boasted, clearly not taking the hint.

"Let's not go overboard." She stated with a signature eye roll "Now go and strap in before I have to clean you off the windscreen." Romanoff advised, even though she'd thought that Y/N would get some enjoyment out of that.

"Yes Ma'am." Y/N said, doing a salute before making his way back to his seat.

Before Y/N could get on Natasha's laptop and get to streaming, Steve grabbed his attention first "Seeing as you're not going to be joining us on this mission, do you have any words of encouragement?" Steve queried, knowing that Venompool was a man of many, many, many words.

"Yeah sure." L/N said as he put the laptop down and turned to the Maximoffs and Wilson in particular "Pretty standard stuff. Listen to Steve and Natasha, don't do anything I wouldn't do and you should all come out of this pretty unscathed." There were general nods of approval from the two senior Avengers and nods of understanding from the three less experienced ones.

"Now we need some music to get our groove on" Y/N closed his eyes then released a slow exhale from his lungs as if he was preparing for a Yoga class "Low Rider Venom....... Venom Low Rider." The Symbiote used his tendril to scroll through their phone for the pre-flight song.

https://youtu.be/kGvuZ4r2bhs

As soon as the first few notes started playing, Y/N was immediately transfixed in a hypnotic like state as he held an intense 'thousand yard stare' thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.

"What is he-" Wilson began but was hastily interrupted and hushed by the local Symbiote who both answered Falcon's inevitable question and shut him down at the same time.

"Shhhhhhhh! Can't you see he's having his Gone in 60 Seconds moment! Have some goddamn respect!" The Symbiote whisper yelled attempting to not distract his host.

Continuing to hold his intense staring until the absolute necessary moment, Y/N brought his hands extremely slowly up to in front of his face whilst bending his middle and ring fingers on each hand before hyping himself up just as the trumpets were beginning to play.

(Good or Bad, Nicolas Cage always makes films watchable. Face Off is my personal favourite - one of the most bizarre film concepts ever.)

"Ok, Let's Ride!"

------------------------------------------------------------------

Another chapter done, not as long as the previous two, hopefully it wasn't a disappointment. We really get into the thick of the main story in the next chapter where we meet up with an old friend.