"Oh, we like this one."

There had been alot to process, actually, scratch that, there had been a whole different world to process when the symbiote hitching a ride inside of her body touched its talon against her flesh and showed her his absolute ruin. And Erika thought her life had been rough...but it seemed that he had taken the cake and not left a single crumb, from crashing into this shithole of a planet to becoming nothing more than a science experiment to probing fingers that were never merciful, it was safe to say that if she had went through such treatment, she'd probably want to eat people too.

Not that she was going to say that out loud of course, because something told her that VENOM was just looking for an excuse to do said eating, and mentally, she really didn't think she could handle that again without having a conversation with her therapist first. Oh god, she really did have to book an appointment with her therapist soon, the poor woman probably thought she'd killed herself...and technically she wouldn't be that far off even though it hadn't actually been her fault. Yeah, she definitely needed her therapist now more than any ever because how the fuck was that a normal sentence.

The young girl decided to just focus on just keeping one foot in front of the other instead of those thoughts for the time being as she made her usual journey to school, praying that nothing weird happened, begging to whatever higher power that was that VENOM would behave and not kill anyone because she definitely didn't need that on her records. She was already failing history and math with flying colours and she was supposed to add manslaughter to the list? Oh, how her poor mother would be turning in her grave at the disappointment she'd become.

"HUNGRY!"

"Well you're going to have to wait. It's your fault I'm late to school in the first place." Erika hissed swiftly at the rough growl, forgetting that she wasn't at home where she could allow such rage to take hold, to maim her completely as she rolled her eyes so hard it almost gave her headache...before suddenly taking an anxious look around the crowd to make sure no one had heard her...and then, remembering, of course, that she was in New York and people couldn't give the slightest of fucks because they'd definitely seen weirder than a girl who looked like she was hyped up on every drug known to man talking to herself in the middle of a street.

Just yesterday there was some kind of cretin throwing up in their school bag with their shoes covered in dog shit and so drenched in sweat they looked like they were going to drown...oh, wait, that was her. God, she really needed to catch a fucking break, before she ended up becoming one of those people you see living in a box under a bridge eating a raw pidgeon, feathers and all, with that look of insanity maiming their features into something only nightmares were truly made out of because the life had been sucked out of them and left only a numb void in its place.

She had tried half an hour prior to buy some food from a nearby cafe just to shut him up...and to stop him from potentially eating someone again, however, that hadn't exactly gone down well, considering it had ended with her sprinting out of the shop because VENOM kept going on about eating the servers liver while all she wanted was some fucking bagels. And it was only until she'd noticed the unfortunately familar strings of black goop curling around the counter did she realise that the symbiote definitely had never heard of the term bluffing and that he was about to catch a body again.

Oh, how she already missed the times when that didn't feel like such a normal sentence, and as her school came into view, Erika once more found herself begging any higher being that there possibly was to give her strength and VENOM patience...before she stumbled on inside with the bright lights instantly building up a aching headache that began to pound, trying not to grimace at the empty halls and ticking clocks that felt like an accusation as they glared down at her, footsteps echoing through the quiet like an ominous omen until she felt physically sick to her stomach.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit."

The swearing did little to comfort her honestly, barely even calmed her nerves that seemed alight with sensitivity, but sometimes, it was just nice to tell the world how crap you actually felt when it insisted on shitting up your life to the point of ruin. And as she finally reached the door to her history class, Erika found her whole body erupting in tremors, hand shaking, sweating groetescly as she heard her teachers voice at the other end, trying not to start screaming at the thought of all the attention on her, all of the eyes on her, watching her, staring at her like vultures to dying prey.

"Okay, just-just don't cry and everything will be okay." She whispered to herself as her fingers danced over the door handle that seemed ever so hot to the touch, practically choking on the words as she felt the vile unfurling of anxiety as it bloomed in her pounding chest that felt so awfully tight, like a rope, no, like a noose was pulled taunt around it, making it harder and harder for her to breathe. God, she should of just said fuck it and took the day off, gave herself more time to figure out what the hell she was going to do with the monster inside of her, the monster death had made of her.

"I DON'T CRY! CRYING IS FOR PUSSIES!"

For one blissful moment, the young girl had almost forgot about the symbiote, assuming that perhaps it had fallen...asleep? Did he even sleep? Did he sleep when she slept? Is that something she should be concerned about? Okay, she'd bring that up at a later date because she felt like that was definitely something she should be concerned about, and if she wasn't too busy trying not to spontaneously combust as the thought of going into her classroom she would of made a bigger deal about it. "Well that's toxic, and I was talking to myself. But now that you mention it, please try and be good."

"NO PROMISES."

And that was as probably about as close to agreement as Erika was going to get as once again, she muttered a silent curse, steadying her nerves with a quick breath that burned like fire scorching it's way through her veins...and then, she finally pushed the door to her history class open and stepped inside, ignoring the unsteady feeling in her legs as she smiled ever so sheepishly. "Hey...I'm like, really sorry I'm late, had uh...problems with traffic? Y'know, spider-man just doing his thing...and all that jazz."

Obviously, all eyes had turned towards her the moment she'd strolled in, bored, lifeless eyes that looked as though their very souls had been sucked out of them, desperate for something interesting...and she supposed that she looked like exactly what they were looking for, hair twisted this way and that, her clothes rumpled and and unkempt because she didn't even have time to attempt to put herself together considering the absolute shitshow she was currently calling a life. And just like that, she truly wondered if it would be such a crime for VENOM to eat everyone if it meant that she didn't have to be here.

"Why am I not suprised, take a seat and try not to disrupt the lesson anymore than you already have."

There was a shift of movements along the students at Mr. Tanners exasperation, their shoulders shaking as their half dead snickering filled the air that set her teeth on edge as she bit her tongue, feeling the taste of copper settling in her mouth like an ominous promise as she made her way to her seat at the back of the class, ignoring everyone as they watched her, as they looked down at her. She'd only been in this hellscape for barely even a minute and she already wanted to run home with her tail tucked in between her legs, how fucking pathetic was that.

"And please Miss. Brock, make sure you actually pay attention this time, I won't be going over this with you again." He smiled sourly, the wrinkles around his eyes more pronounced and that grin nothing short of cruel as the laughter started up again, forcing her further down into the uncomfortable chair that squeaked beneath her like it would hide her from view, hide her from the heckling of others which she wasn't exactly sure she deserved.

And perhaps if Mr. Tanner was a kind teacher or hell, even one that didn't get some sadistic pleasure from mentally torturing his students, he would of seen that Erika was definitely going through something and might of actually helped her by fucking ignoring her or doing something equally as merciful. However, he obviously wasn't that, in fact, she was pretty sure the bastard only took the job to make teenagers lives hell because he had nothing better to do...and that was why when she felt the symbiotes familar voice in her ear, she couldn't even bring it in herself to flinch.

"WE SHOULD EAT HIM!"

"...Not in public."
_________________________________________________

Honestly, the rest of the day had went...well, not great but certainly not bad considering her symbiote hadn't caused her any other problem than threatening to kill someone whenever they got too close, but considering that was usually her internal monologue anyway, she couldn't find it in herself to be all that bothered. In fact, it was almost easy to just pretend that he was simply the voice in her head, narrating how her day was going with more graphic violence than she, herself would usually describe because it usually just made her feel all sorts of queasy.

But that being said, the overwhelming relief Erika had suddenly felt didn't come close to anything she'd ever been blessed with before when she was finally done with everything and was able to walk out of the doors of the school, away from the stifling classrooms that seemed to get smaller and smaller by the minute, away from the loud noises and the annoying assholes she called her peers. Just parking her ass down on the bleachers outside, trying not to scream with the fresh air dancing across her skin like a caress as she took a moment to just fucking breathe.

Was this how she was going to spend the rest of her life? Worrying that something inside of her was going to snap, going to rot and fray and turn her into a fucking huge monster that looked like a horrifying killer whale? Erika didn't hear the snarl that came with that thought but felt it, rumbling deep in the pit of her stomach, warning her to perhaps not attempt to piss off said monster if she didn't want a repeat of what happened the other night when he almost broke her skull into two halves...god her life really fucking sucked at the moment.

"So, uh...you saving that seat for anyone important?"

Could my day get any worse? Scratch that, could my shitty life get any worse, Erika thought to herself rhetorically with a long suffering sigh that burned, resisting the urge to just let the symbiote seep into her skin and let them slither down the bleachers like slime to avoid him...but of course, she couldn't do that, well, not without some questions being asked, so instead she glanced up at the boy who was standing just behind her with that stupid smile on his stupid face that sent a painful lurch in her chest, like a vice had entrapped it, had sunk into it and ruined her completely.

"It's all yours, twinkletoes."

Peter Parker was always going to be a welcome sight even when she didn't want him to be, it was the unfortunate truth, it was probably going to always be an unfortunate truth. And perhaps that's why she let him sit down beside her, let his knee brush against her own, let his huffing chuckle bless her ears like a lullaby, like it was a song from the gods themselves as he grinned down at her with something soft in his eyes. "Ah, twinkletoes, have definitely not missed that."

She made a noise that stung the back of her throat, unable to find it in herself to reply, glaring out towards the field in front of them, not daring to tear her eyes that ached with unurshed tears from the greenery, to look at him, to see his lips as they form words that she always wants to hear. Grief had always been her burden to bear, the weight that lingered upon her shoulders, that dragged her down to hells fiery depths in her desire to burn, to be risen from the ashes and be washed anew...but she'd learned that love was just as painful, because it was just another word for loss, for grief, just disguised with something softer.

It was a cruelty, a mockery from immorality, something for them to laugh at and point at...look at the desperate humans who grasped at divinity with the little greedy hands that would never reach, look at how they hold one another as if they'd been made to do so, look at how they think their lives have any meaning other than the gods amusement, look at how they live, look at how they love...and look at what happens when they lose everything, look at what happens when they die.

Erika sometimes wondered if it was a blessing or a curse that Peter would never feel the same, too busy mooning over the one who got away, the one who stayed good in the face of hardship instead of letting it maim her completely. She could never hate Gwen, she was never going to be that type of girl or sink that low, she was never going to be competing against someone, ruining someone all for the sake of attention that wasn't hers to begin with...but that didn't mean she couldn't envy her most completely, not just for having his heart that burned brighter than the sun, but for having the ability to stay stay kind instead of succumbing to cruelty like she had.

But as those thoughts were swirling around her mind and just bringing pain instead of closure, she was suddenly torn away from them by the sound of Peter muttering under his breath as his shoulder jostled hers and almost sent her flying from the bleachers, forcing her to finally, finally turn to look at him with a dark scowl painted across her features, dying to ask him what his fucking damage was...only to be interrupted by the most delightful smell she was sure her nose would ever be graced with as the words died on her tongue.

"Don't suppose you'll take a peace offering?"

And in his large hands stained with calluses and constantly littered with bruises, he held a bag, but not just any bag, oh no, the bag from her favourite doughnut shop that was located just across his street, the one that she'd only been too about four times and every time had to be practically dragged away from her seat by him so they could finish up their homework or assure Aunt May that they hadn't died. And without her permission, she found herself grinning brightly as she snatched it from his hands and instantly began to tuck in, ignoring his huff of laughter to moan instead at the beautiful taste of sugar dough and chocolate.

"OH, WE LIKE THIS ONE."

Once again, for a moment, she had forgotten about her gooey little problem that wasn't exactly little, and with a mounting feeling of horror, she knew that that definitely wasn't a good thing...because it meant that she was getting used to his presence, expecting it, drawing comfort from it, that strange fullness, feeling this anger that wasn't hers, feeling this raw power in her veins that flickered and squirmed like a devastating promise of destruction. He had possessed her, swallowed her whole and tainted her, and was still doing as such with his venomous intentions...but she'd be damned if she let them to the same to Peter.

She couldn't let him get close again, she couldn't let him break down her defences again...she had to push him away or ruin him completely, but the only question was, was she strong enough or weak enough to do so.

However, just as Erika opened her mouth to say something that would decide both of their fate, their future, their entire fucking friendship...Peter managed to beat her to it with his eyes doing that stupid squinty thing that just made her feel all sorts of flushed and his voice soft and quiet, barely even louder than a whisper. "Hey...uh, I'm sorry- you know, about the other day, I was being an ass, I mean, so were you, not that that's an excuse because I took it too far and you didn't deserve it I was just-, it doesn't matter, the camera was obviously important to you and I shouldn't-"

The words kept coming, stumbling ever so clumsily from his lips as he waved his hands around awkwardly, leaving her staring at him with her brows raised high and confusion marring her features because she'd long since given up on trying to decipher just what the fuck he was saying, and then, just as he opened his mouth again to keep talking, Erika finally lashed out, wrapping her palm around the lower half of his face, breath catching at the feeling of his skin against hers like it was a caress, a barely there kiss. "Okay, okay would you take a moment twinkletoes? I can barely make out what you're saying."

He shot her an exaggerated look from over her hand, shoulders slumping, weighed down either by his indignation or his exhaustion, before slowly letting out a breath, letting it wash over her flesh and erupting goosebumps in its wake as she swallowed thickly, trying not to show how that simple movement had burned her as she took her burning hand away and clenched it tight. "It's okay, by the way. Seriously, I don't blame you for snapping, I was just...I am so fucking angry, at everything, at everyone...because being angry is better than just being devastated."

It was a confession, a vulnerability let out to rot in the open air as she forced the tears to keep at bay, forgetting for a few blissful days about how the camera, her moms camera was still broken, had still crumbled like dust between her fingers and left only memories in its wake. What they never tell you about grief is that it never leaves, it lingers like rage for your whole life, getting stronger, getting weaker, pulling you down or building you up the choice was yours, but it was always there, it would always be there, disguised in blood or in silk.

"It was my mom's, you know? It was like, the only thing I couldn't- it was the only thing I kept after she died. It was the only thing that felt right in my hands, the only thing that didn't make me feel like I was just hanging onto the memories that weren't there anymore." She continued quietly, stripping herself naked of all defences, letting Peter gaze upon her with that pity...no, with that understanding in his eyes, because he himself knew better than anyone else what happened when loss maimed you, when it took everything and just a need to feel anything other than numb behind.

"Erika...I'm so sorry, this- this is all my fault-"

But the young girl only scoffed before he could even attempt to take the blame that wasn't his to carry, shaking her head as she looked up to the sky, as if expecting the fucking menace who had destroyed her to be swinging by, feeling that familar, almost comforting shift inside her stomach, underneath her skin like something, like someone was moving inside of her, getting ready to swallow her whole...getting ready to wreak havoc, to wreak chaos, to get their own kind of vengeance. "Don't be stupid, Peter. It's not like you broke it anyway...Spiderman did."

And he'll pay for it...by god how he'll pay for it indeed.