Three months before everything went to shit.

What truly was the point of superheroes? It was an age old question, what was the point of masked vigilantes? What was the point of people gaining some kind of twisted ability and then deciding that they wanted to save the world from ruination for no reason, that it was their sudden responsibility, their salvation or their damnation. She had never really understood it, understood any of it really, even when she was a child and her father would read her some tale of heroes and villains and creatures that flirted with the line of both, there was never really a point to it, just a story, just a desire for the world to be better than it actually was.

But that's all it would ever be, a desire unfortunately, because the world was cruel and selfish and hungry for anarchy disguised with life and nature but no matter how much good blessed the earth there would always be more dangers hidden in the darkness, just waiting for a moment to strike, because fate, because destiny, because whatever higher force that watched over such things craved it, and that was always the way it was going to be...at least that's what she thought, well, no, that's what she knew, and thought it was brutal she'd rather have the terrible truth than pretty lies.

The world had taken everything from her and left her nothing more than overwhelming rage and a camera that always looked bloodstained, no matter how often she scrubbed it clean, no matter how long she'd stare at it hoping for something different to finally look back at her, it always had those dark specks of morality scattered across the surface like a manifestation of the reality of what hope and love could bring...and that was grief and mourning, constant and unfulfilled for the rest of your days.

"Dickhead."

Erika Brock suddenly grumbled quietly over her shoulder at the man walking past her, as for the third time that day she was jostled by some stupid miscreant who apparently had never heard of the simple saying to 'look where you were going' before you'd slammed your steroid-manic arm filled with bulging muscle against someone less than half of your size who looked like a strong breeze would have her crumbling in on herself like a paper dollhouse, breaking her from her rather depressing musings by bumping into her on the busy sidewalk which really did nothing to quell her anxiety as it festered in her stomach.

Don't get her wrong, sometimes she could admit that she, herself, forgot to look where she was going, meaning such instances were usually her fault when she'd be too busy fiddling with her headphones or her phone to avoid the thought of socializing and wouldn't even glance up from the screen until her ass would had hit the floor and be bruised for days...but this time, it was definitely not her fault.

And that was because she'd left practically everything that could distract her except her camera and her school bag at home in her rush to get to school, after waking up in the morning only to find it suspicious how much sleep she was getting only for it to click that her stupid alarm hadn't gone off and she was going to be very late, to the point where she was actually going to end up getting to school just as their lunch hour would begin...but as long as she still showed up, she was counting it as a win, something that her uncle couldn't take away from her lest he wanted her to start unraveling by the seams and have another breakdown.

Plus, it was actually a good thing if she was to look on the bright side of things, because she'd been desperate to develop some of the photos she'd taken for a while now and hadn't had the time because she'd been too busy doing her history homework during her lunch that she always waited the last minute for because she hated it with a burning passion...but considering her teacher hadn't assigned any the week before, and she wouldn't have to spend the whole of the morning classes worrying about how busy the room was going to be after she'd eaten her lunch, it was safe to say she had a perfect opportunity.

Something she was definitely going to use to her advantage the moment she set her boots on the grounds of Midtown Science high school, avoiding the rest of the student body that were taking their chances of the hot weather by sitting outside, talking over each other in loud voices filled with laughter and warmth that just made her want to vomit as she quickly rushed past them, holding her bag close to her chest as she stumbled into the empty halls and practically ran all the way to the dark room at the end of the school where the photography club usually spent most of their day much to her annoyance.

However, just as her hands laced with rings and ripped skin of where she'd pick at her own flesh pushed the door open, she found herself freezing at the realisation that she wasn't alone as Peter Parker hovered on the desk, obviously in his own little world as he developed his own photos and unaware of the fact that Erika had almost passed out on the spot at the familar sight of his messy brown hair that she fantasised about running her fingers through daily when she'd stare at the back of his head completely and utterly entranced instead of listening to her history teacher...which was probably why she was so bad at the subject in the first place.

Fuck she knew she had a problem, a very embarrassing problem because ever since she'd watch him demolish Flash Thomson on that stupid basketball course she'd been unable to keep her wandering thoughts to herself. It's not like she hasn't noticed him before that of course, he was about as tall as a tree and just as clumsy as she was, but there was just something about that cocky little grin that had curled at his lips that sent her heart into a rather dramatic palpation to the point she was hoping it would just hurry up and give up on her so save her the trouble of having a crush of all things.

It was ridiculous, pathetic, all of that and more she thought to herself, unpacking all of her things and going through the regular steps she'd need to take to develop her camera roll, trying not to turn her internal screaming into external screaming. Aware of his every breath behind her, the way the floorboards creaked underneath his feet, the way she could hear him sigh or chew on his pencil every so often made her feel very much like some kind of creepy stalker as she hung up the few dripping photos that had just been developed, and then moved her back down to start the process anew and losing herself into the familiarity of the motions.

"Hey, that's really good."

"Motherfucker-" Her hands shot out violently at the abrupt voice, sending the vast majority of her shit clattering to the ground in her shock, but her eyes were only on her camera that she frantically tried to grab but missed, waiting for the inevitable sound of it shattering off of the ground only to gasp in relief as large hands stained with callouses and bruising caught it just before it could do so, holding it like it was precious cargo as he slowly stood up, forcing her gaze to follow after him as Peter fucking Parker of all people was her unlikely hero that seemingly came out of nowhere and putting the fear of god into her mortal corpse.

"Whoa- I'm sorry- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you- that's uh, that's my bad."

"Yeah, no kidding twinkle-toes." She muttered, shooting him a dark look as she snatched the camera out of his hands and looked over it for any scratches, her bottom lip worried between her teeth until she could taste copper on her tongue and the tips of her ears burning with either embarrassment or shame she really had no clue...before realising that she'd spilled the developer all over her work space in her effort to catch the one thing she had left of her mother and cursed loudly, placing it on the table behind her before frantically dabbing away at the wet crap that was soaking through her text books.

"Here, let me-" Peter seemingly teleported to the other end of the room, grabbing a handful of paper towels and then rushing back towards her with his stupidly pretty face set in an apologetic grimace, doing the same thing she was doing but just making it worse somehow as ink began to smear across the pages and his lanky arms and by association his elbows managed to start slapping things off of the desk that yes, he did manage to catch in the same breath but it just continued to make her stress levels rise and rise until she finally snapped, grabbed the towels and literally shooed him away like a flapping child.

"I've got it. Thanks."

And without his help, it was done alot faster as she eventually got the desk back into something that resembled presentable, praying to whatever force there was that he couldn't see the slight tremor in her hands or the way her skin had flushed as he watched her silently, stepping forward every once in a while as if he wanted to help but then remembered how that disaster went and deciding it wasn't worth it with a wince, but just as she thought that was the end of it, he spoke up once more, awkwardly gesturing to the rack above her. "I'm sorry again I just- I saw the picture out of the corner of my eye and it's- yeah, it's really good. Amazing actually, how did you take it?"

Erika glanced up to where he was pointing and scoffed loudly, without truly even meaning to as she looked at the photo in question, the reason she'd been thinking about the so called superheroes in the first place a few mere hours prior. The man in red and blue, the public menace, the public saviour that was Spiderman, trying to make the world a better place and not yet realizing that there was no such thing, that the ever haunting ghosts of the world damned through greed would always find a need to rise from the earth and wreak havoc, and around the corner of every street, there was always a bigger monster with bigger teeth.

It was a story that had stretched on for eons, horror, grief and tragedy clinging to human hands, even ones that were blessed or cursed with abnormalities that were desperate to save things that could never be...but that didn't mean for a second that fate and death wouldn't stain their teeth with their blood too, and it was just a matter of time before the weight of the world would crush the hero to the earth like it did with the rest of the damned mortals who'd given up on trying to bear its weight...and she was most definitely one of them who had long since stopped trying.

Or at least that's what she swore to herself, late and night when only the stars bore witness to her longing for peace, for creation that wouldn't ruin her, longing for her parents that had torn away her innocence and desire for the world to be a better place. To feel anything for another person would deranged her, and to be seen feeling such things by fate was to strip her naked and condemned...and that was why she refused to be seen because she refused to grieve or mourn ever again, never to feel that vile emotion, and wondering just how the heroes could live with themselves when they couldn't save their victims...because how was it worth to lose a bit of yourself with every loss that maimed you.

She cleared her throat suddenly, rubbing at her aching eyes that she refused to acknowledge as she looked back down to her desk, waving her hand in some flippant gesture that was meant to show her complete nonchalance at the compliment, like it hadn't made her heart sing or her hands shake because of the simple fact it was Peter who had done so...How pathetic. "He was flying overhead last night when I was trying to take photos of the sunset. Bastard photo bombed me and somehow made it look cooler."

"Yeah, hey what lense where you using? It looks like-"

"Look if you like it so much you can have it. It doesn't fit what I had in mind for my aesthetic anyway." Erika interrupted him quickly, struggling with the thought of a simple human interaction that would come easy to others and struggling because it was him of all people, the one person she actually looked for through the crowd of overwhelming teenage hormones whenever she'd move through the halls, hoping for a mere glimpse of the boy who looked like the sunshine personified while she was nothing more than a pain-filled tragedy trying to leech his warmth without getting too close to burn.

"What? You're not a fan of spiderman?" Peter smiled, his bottom lip hidden beneath his teeth as he bit it gently as if to stop the grin from becoming too wide, and god did he have to look like that? Like a stupid puppy with those eyes and that face and that stupid, stupid hair that really was the cause of all these...feelings in the first place as she had to force her gaze away once more, taking the photo off the rack and, after quickly making sure it was fully developed and didn't have any stains or mistakes of any kind, handing it over towards him, shivering as his index finger brushed her own and wanting to start slamming her head on the table to stop the way her cheeks became hot.

"If I wanted to see a masked dude fighting some poor bastard I'd watch a wrestling match."

"You know, some people are saying he's a hero."

"And others are saying he's a menace to society who has way too much time on his hands, what's your point?" She rolled her eyes, secretly hoping it was the end of the conversation so her racing mind could finally calm itself from her impending meltdown but instead, she was blessed with his laughter as he placed his hands in his pockets nonchalantly and Oh, it was a sound she desperately wanted to hear again as her heart skipped a beat, pulling at her chest in frantic pulses that hurt, and when he finally stopped, he continued to look at her with some strange amusement in his dark eyes of molted chocolate before pursing his lips just slightly.

"I uh, I don't think I've introduced myself, have I? I'm Peter-"

"Peter Parker, I know, we have English and history class together actually." Erika said, trying to ignore the slight sting in her chest as she took that to mean he had no idea who she was, which yes, was understandable considering she was pretty content to be a wallflower and avoid the masses like they had inherited a deadly disease, which, she supposed in a way they had, because death was the most deadly of all, and it was inevitable and didn't pause for any one but it was her choice if she was to be affected by such things. But still, she did have classes with the boy for three years now...she would of thought that he at least knew of her existence.

And it seemed that he was suffering from the same thoughts as he winced and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, a expression that she only just caught out of the corner of her gaze as she began piling her, quite frankly, ruined textbooks that were still damp into her bag with a number of curses springing to mind about the fact she was going to obviously have to buy more...but before Peter could open his mouth to do something stupid like apologise, she glanced up at him with a quirked brow. "Don't take it personally, I don't really talk to anyone the vast majority of the time, I don't like people."

For a moment, it looked like he was about to say something else, his mouth opening just slightly with a frown...only to be interrupted by the bell ringing loudly causing her to grunt, fingers itching to cover her ears away from the piercing noise even though she had become used to it, her heartbeat accelerating and a panted whimper escaping her bloodied throat, too quiet for anyone but dust to hear her as she pulled her bag over her shoulder and looked up at the boy with a shrug as she walked past him. "Seriously, keep the picture if you want, I was probably just going to end up throwing it out, I don't care what you do with it either way."

"Okay, thanks, I guess I'll see you around, Erika."

She froze just before she opened the door to the dark room, glancing over her shoulder with her eyes wide but he wasn't even looking at her, already moved back to his space where he, himself was obviously packing up for the next lesson while she blinked at him rather stupidly for a minute...and then shook her head, closing the door with a barely there smile curving around her lips without her permission, because she definitely didn't tell him her name in that rather short interaction...which meant he already knew what it was...and ruination had never tasted so sweet on her tongue of morality as she strolled through the halls with a light skip to her step because he knew her name.

He actually knew her fucking name.