PRAY TO DIE

Messalina couldn't believe it. It took her a few minutes to process what had just happened, how easily Strange had given up the stone for a mere mortal. His one job was to protect the stone, and he just gave up. She scoffed bitterly, shaking her head. She wasn't surprised. She knew it was too good to be true, that he was just as good as the Strange she knew from her home. 

"Is something wrong?" Strange asked Messalina, his arms resting casually on his legs. The sight set her entire body on fire - how dare he be so nonchalant about this, as if he hadn't just signed their death certificates. 

Messalina didn't hold back the hysterical smile twisting on her face. "No, I'm just counting down the days until we all get slaughtered by Thanos. I'm betting it's no longer than two days, what does everyone else think?" 

She pointedly gestured to everyone, as if waiting for an answer. Parker opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off. "Only kidding, we'll be lucky if we survive the night." 

"I think you're being a tad bit dramatic." 

Her jaw dropped. A disbelieving laugh erupted from her, and her entire body was beginning to shake. "Are you fucking insane? You just gave the most powerful object in the universe to a madman! I'm just being realistic!"

"Trust me," Strange stood up, moving towards her. Messalina took a step back, glaring at him with daggers in her eyes. "It had to be done." The calmness that he said this hit as harshly as a slap to the face. 

"For a man who saw the future you sure are awfully calm. One! One in over fourteen billion realities that we win. You witnessed first hand what he did in each and every one of those realities, saw what he did to my home, and you're just going to pretend it's all okay? It's not Strange, it's really not." Messalina ran a frantic hand through her hair, tugging on it. "Our blood is on your hands." 

"We're not dead yet." 

"Yet!" Messalina bellowed, pointing a finger at him harshly. "We're not dead, yet! How - how can you be like this! You're playing Russian Roulette with our lives and I do not have the slightest amount of confidence in you to believe that you made the winning bet." 

"Messalina-" She cut him off, hands clenching unconsciously. It did nothing to put out the inferno raging through her body. 

"Don't you dare." She swallowed thickly, wiping subtly at the corners of her eyes. "The whole reason I was sent here was to stop any of this from happening. I can never go back to my home and if you fucked up this reality, there are no do overs. We're stuck living under a dictator." 

Strange turned his gaze to the ground. His voice was small, guilt oozing out of his every pore. "I'm sorry." 

"You're sorry?" Messalina scoffed, storming towards him and jabbing him roughly in the chest. "You can't even look me in the eyes. You know that 'sorry' isn't going to bring me back to the my brother, or my friends. Hell, they might even be dead since Thanos has five of six fucking Infinity Stones and I won't even know because I'm in fucking space!"

Spit flew onto Strange's face, and he made no move to wipe it away. The sight brought her pure joy. 

"You are not the Stephen Strange that I know. You don't deserve your powers, your responsibility, your title. You don't deserve anything." 

Strange's face hardened. It filled Messalina with a twisted satisfaction, to witness him break just like he made her fall apart the moment he handed over the only thing between them and complete chaos. She was tired of playing the nice guy, tired of being sympathetic for stupid fools who couldn't comprehend the repercussions of their actions. 

A hand rested on her shoulder - tight. A warning. Tony's words did nothing to reassure her, only adding fuel to the fire. "Messalina, you need to calm down." 

"Calm down? I have given up everything for you ungrateful fuckers and you just throw it  back in my face. You have no idea what you've unleashed. You may have seen the future but you didn't experience it, you weren't -" Messalina's strong facade cracked along with her voice. "You didn't have to see the bodies in the streets, not even being able to see them to know if it was someone you loved. You didn't have to look over your shoulder every second of every day knowing that at any second a target could be painted on your back. You didn't have your heart break as you had to attend another funeral with an empty casket. You were sheltered! You were protected! You merely watched, and even if you think you felt pain watching, it is nothing compared to the reality of living under a tyrant." 

"Messalina," Tony's grip was stronger. She ignored it, the adrenaline masking all pain. 

"He didn't even have all the stones in my reality and he still managed to destroy everything he touched." Messalina shuddered a deep breath, her sight blurring. "I want you to look me in the eyes and promise me that this will all be okay." 

Strange lifted his eyes from the ground, gazing at her softly. Even with all of the insults she'd thrown at him, the hate she'd inflicted, he was still kind. Guilt crept into her heart. "I can't promise it'll all be okay, but I can promise that Thanos will not win." 

Messalina scoffed. Her throat felt as if it had been scraped raw, but she still let her emotion scratch it more. To hell with the consequences. She was done with being quiet. "What you're saying is that we'll all be dead, but Thanos won't win?" 

He paused. "It's a possibility." 

Messalina shook her head, unable to keep her gaze on him. It made her sick. Instead, she focused it on everyone else who were staring at her open mouthed. "You hear that guys? There's a chance you'll all be six feet under and never actually know if Thanos is defeated. All of this will be for nothing. Are you okay with that?" 

Silence followed. She waited a few beats for a response, and when she got nothing she simply sighed. "Well, I guess some people just don't want to be saved. Just pray that you don't live long enough to see the entirety of Thanos' insanity unfold. But I know that I am not dying anytime soon, not without seeing Octavian or my friends again." 

Messalina spun on her heel, storming away from them all. 

"Where are you going?" Peter Quill shouted. 

"Far away from all of this shit!" 

*

"Stupid piece of crap," Messalina muttered, giving the crashed pod ship a sharp kick. She hissed a few curse words as pain flared up her foot, pursing her lips in annoyance. None of this was going the way she planned. She had planned for victory, and if everything else was falling apart, then it was likely her plan would ultimately fail. 

She didn't want to be here to see that. 

She bent back under the steering, trying to find any wires she could use to hot wire the pod. It hadn't turned on when she tried, and so far she wasn't having any luck with getting the engine started. It was beginning to look like she was going to be stuck here. 

Messalina gave another swift kick, embracing the agony and collapsed to the floor. Her head fell into her hands instantly, her lungs deflating. "Where did it all go wrong?"

A thud on the hollow metal made her skeleton jump out of her skin. Springing to her feet, she had a knife in her hand as soon as she could inhale a breath, her heart rate calming at the familiar weight. 

"Can I come in or are you too busy moping?" 

Tony Stark. 

Frowning, Messalina popped her head out of the ship, blocking out all of the nostalgic memories. "What do you want?" 

"You never answered me." 

Huffing, Messalina pulled her head back into the ship, falling back into the same spot on the floor. The light slapping of feet against the cheap metal warned her of his incoming presence, and she said nothing as he took a seat across from her, wincing as his side moved too much. 

"I never thanked you for trying to save me." Messalina's gaze darted upwards, her full attention on him. "Not many people would fling a toothpick at a titan."

As much as she tried to suppress it, her lips began to twirl upwards. "Not toothpicks."

"In comparison to my tech they are." 

She rolled her eyes, letting the knife rest gently in her hands. She spun it between her fingers, the tip digging in to the tip of her finger. A droplet of blood rose to the surface. "Stop comparing sizes." 

"No need to compare when mines clearly bigger." 

Messalina laughed lightly. "I forgot how immature you were." 

Tony's forehead crinkled. She realised her mistake too late, moving her gaze from him to the blood gently dripping from her finger. 

"You know me?" 

Sighing, she put the knife down, crossing her legs. She looked anywhere but him, hoping he wouldn't spot how glassy her eyes were. She doubt he would mention it if he did. "You were part of Libertas for a short while. We went on a few missions together." She smirked. "My brother had a bit of a crush on you, not that he'll admit it." 

He was quiet for a long time, so quiet that Messalina thought he'd left her alone. When she lifted her eyes to look up at him, she saw that he was just simply staring at nothing. It was the look of a man who had endured. It appeared that hadn't changed between the realities, except in this reality, the bags under his eyes seemed darker. "Were?" 

She knew it wouldn't be a good idea to tell him his fate. It would just act as a reminder of his mortality, of how little his chances were of survival. Yet it wouldn't be carried out in the same way as her reality, and seeing her long dead friend sitting in front of her hurt her more than she could put into words. "When Thanos came to power, we all had to swear an oath of loyalty to him. It seemed as if the stones had made him more... Demanding. He had a thirst for power, and the obedience of those beneath him was barely enough for him. So when Libertas was formed in secret in the hopes of essentially usurping him, we were all committing treason. The punishment for treason was death - even if you weren't on the death lottery." 

"I guess I was found out." Tony snorted. "I'm not surprised. I'm not exactly the incognito type." 

Messalina didn't laugh this time. Her smile had dimmed, and her eyes were downcast. It hurt to talk but she did it anyway, knowing that holding it was just as painful. "I told you everything, Tony. We were like two peas in a pod. And I watched you die." 

"I can imagine that wasn't easy for you." 

"It was awful for all of us. You were always there for us all to talk to, and you made us feel human in a time where all we felt was nothing. I don't want to feel like that again."

"How about this kid - you come back, leave the ship, and I promise you that you won't. I'll protect you from everything bad coming at you. I'm Iron Man, I can do anything." 

"Aren't you War Machine?" 

Tony gawped at her. She didn't attention to the way he was prattling on about how things were so different yet similar. All of her thoughts were focused on the promise he made her. She wasn't sure if it was the sincerity in which he said it, or how the way he was softly smiling at her now mirrored her old friend with the same face. What she did know was that she believed him with every fibre of her being, and that terrified her. 

-

hey guys! this honestly was one of my favourite chapters to write, and i hope you can see it in the (hopefully) good quality of it!

so the endgame promo has blown my socks off. from the looks of it i'm still a little lost on how they'll fit in but i'll figure it out. and the captain marvel one? beautiful.

if anyone has any questions ask away!

hope you all enjoyed this and you've all been well. see you guys soon,

-thirdwheelchurchill