A part of my heart died.

I should be grateful that I survived, but I couldn't help thinking about how cruel God was for letting me live and making our baby die. Being cooped up in the hospital left me alone with my thoughts for too long. I needed to be out there searching for the person who wanted me dead. Why couldn't my body heal faster?

Everyone wanted me to be strong, but I wasn't sure I could. Emmett had endured bullet wounds and overdosed more times than I could count on one hand. Yet he never showed weakness like me. He never shed tears or begged for blissful death. He bounced back so easy. I wished I had that kind of strength.

Hiding the pain proved to be difficult, but I tried my best. I stopped complaining to the nurses when I felt bad. I forced myself to suffer until it brought me to tears. I wanted to be invincible, like the make-believe superheroes my dad used to create in his comics were.

I put on a fake smile when they moved me to the general ward yesterday, where they allowed me more visitors. I wanted to hold off on telling my friends that they could come see me, but I knew everyone would assume something was wrong. Only my closest friends would drop by, as I didn't give my hospital room number out to just anyone. I wanted privacy, considering someone probably still wanted me dead. It wasn't that I didn't want them visiting though. I just didn't want them to see me in such a horrible condition.

From a medical standpoint, I was doing well. But I was a mess. Inside and out.

"Is it Sunday yet?" I whined. "I wanna go home."

"Tomorrow you will." Adam sipped on his Starbucks coffee.

My folks and Adam took turns keeping watch over me at the hospital. It just happened to be his turn that dreary morning.

I adjusted my fluffy pink pillow. "You set up those new security cameras already, right?"

He nodded. "Sure did."

When Adam told me about the young boy nosing around my house with a camera, I got scared. I knew it could've been a silly dare or prank, but after what happened, I wouldn't take any chances. The person who tried to kill me might've paid the gullible kid to do that for his own twisted benefit. Maybe to get a layout of my house? Or an idea of how to break in and kill me in my sleep?

I shivered just thinking about it. What kind of creep would do that?

Thunder shook the hospital room as the door crept open. Layla's knee-high boots clacked against the linoleum floor. She wore a gray cardigan over her short black dress and a cute knitted beanie. She handed me a get well card before hugging me tightly.

"Oh, Everly. I'm so sorry. How are you doing?" She pulled a chair up, folding one leg across the other.

"Okay, I guess."

"How about you, Adam? I know this must be so difficult for both of you." Layla gave him a sympathetic smile.

"I'm holding up," he replied as he stood up. "I'm gonna go grab something to eat from the cafeteria. I'll give you girls some privacy."

Layla sighed as he stepped out. "I wish he didn't have to act so awkward when I'm around. I mean, it's not like we're hooking up anymore."

Before Adam dated me, he used to get around New Syracuse. Layla worked at the Lady Lounge, a strip joint he used to frequent for casual sex. I used to be jealous of her before we became friends. Unlike Adam, I didn't have much of a sexual history list. I spent most of my teenage years keeping my brother out of trouble and studying.

"Maybe he just wanted to give us some space to talk," I suggested.

"Yeah, probably. Anyway, I'm so relived you're okay." She reached over and held my hand. "When I heard about what happened, I broke down in tears. You gave me such a scare, Everly."

"It was terrifying that night... I-I don't know who would do such a thing."

"You're safe now. That's what matters. Whoever the fucker is, Adam will find him and lock his ass away in prison."

Was I really safe? Whoever tried to kill me still lurked around New Syracuse, and he'd learn I was still alive soon. What would happen then? Would I be forced to live in fear, always looking over my shoulder?

💀

It rained and thundered terribly on the day they released me from the hospital. I was so relieved to finally be heading home. Despite how my friends and family visited me during those boring days in the general ward, I just couldn't get comfortable there.

I'd be able to start searching for the person who killed our baby soon too. I already had ideas for how I'd exact my revenge. Maybe I'd bury the bastard alive or set him on fire out in the boonies. I could always chop his body into pieces and scatter them throughout New Syracuse too.

I stumbled a bit when I climbed out of Adam's truck, grabbing the door handle for support. Adam gave me a concerned look as I regained my balance and slammed the door. Rain drenched us, but he waited for me, carrying all my belongings up to the porch.

"You okay?" Adam asked.

"Peachy," I murmured.

I pulled out my key and unlocked the front door. Just the short distance walk from his truck to the house tired me out. I sat down on the couch to remove my muddy converse, throwing them on the dark pink Go Away mat.

"Do you want me to cook something for supper later?" Adam asked. "I know you refused to eat before we left the hospital, but the food did look like slop they'd serve in the jails."

"I just want to lay down in my own bed."

Adam walked with me to my bedroom, where I plopped down on my own bed. It felt heavenly against my exhausted body. I snuggled into the warm cozy blanket and pillows. I could sleep for hours, but I didn't want to keep resting. I wanted to go out and find the man responsible for hurting me, but I could barely keep my eyes open. I was so damn tired and sore.

My body betrayed me. It still was. Almost every time I drifted off, I dreamed about losing our baby.

I didn't want to worry Adam. He'd done more than enough for me already, and I didn't want to become a burden to him. We watched some movies to pass the time, but I couldn't even focus on the plasma screen in front of me. All I could think about was whether or not the baby felt the bullet that ended his life.

"Everly? You alright?"

Adam's knuckles gently brushed across my cheek, pulling me out of my terrible thoughts. I'd started crying again. Stupid hormones. Stupid weak body. I hated being so helpless. I needed to do something; anything other than hiding in bed like a scared little girl.

I tried so hard to stay strong. Crying couldn't bring our baby back, but I didn't know how to stop all the tears. The more I tried to resist it, the louder my sobs became. I gasped for air that didn't seem to be there, almost as if I was dying inside. Was that how our baby felt too?

"Tell me what's wrong." Adam's frightened voice reached my ears. "Where are you hurting? Do you need me to take you to the emergency room?"

"No, I don't need to go back there. I'm scared. Don't leave me."

"I'm right here." He kissed my forehead. "Tell me what I can do."

"My stomach's killing me and I'm so tired," I whined.

"The doctor prescribed you Toradol for the pain," Adam said, reaching over on my nightstand where I placed all the medications. I had an antibiotic and the anti-anxiety drug lorazepam too for some bizarre reason. It wasn't like I had anxiety problems.

I plopped one of the tablets in my mouth and chased it down with the bottle of water beside me. "I should just be like Emmett and take half the bottle."

"Don't joke like that. It's not funny."

Adam brought his warm, strong hands around my stomach. He gently massaged beneath the adhesive bandage that covered the gunshot wound then moved to my hips.

"You're too precious to me to lose to drugs, Everly. Don't ever touch any of that shit, okay?" He leaned over and kissed me. "I don't wanna imagine a world without you in it."

"I don't want to imagine a world without you either."

I snuggled closer to him, breathing in his comforting scent. I was scared, but at least I wasn't alone. I had a hard time opening up and trusting people. In the line of work I did with my brother, it was understandable. You never knew who would turn their backs on you, but I knew I could trust Adam.

We dug into his stash of dark chocolate. I tried reading after the movie, but I couldn't concentrate on the words in front of me. I just stared at the page, spacing off.

"Maybe I would've been a bad mother," I said. "Maybe that's why I lost the baby."

"What? Don't say shit like that. You will be an amazing mom, Everly."

"You don't know that." I took a small bite of my own chocolate. "Maybe this was like, God's way of telling me I shouldn't have kids."

"That's nonsense and you know it. You miscarried because someone shot you, not because God wants to punish you."

I tried to hold back the tears, but they still trickled down my cheeks. "What if I can't have kids now? Are you going to leave me if I can't give you a family?"

"You can't think like that, honey. Worrying will only make things worse. I promise you I will not leave you if, by some chance, you can't have kids."

I sniffled, rubbing at my eyes. "Did you even want to have a baby with me?"

"Of course, and I still do." He rubbed my back and kissed my cheek. "We're still young, we've got plenty of time to make babies."

I smiled at that. "Yeah, you're probably right. It's just hard to think about it now."

"We don't need to make any plans now, but know I'm ready to start a family whenever you are. Whether it be a year or three from now. You'll be the best mom ever, and hopefully by then, the best wife too."

My cheeks burned bright red as he kissed me on the lips. He actually considered marrying me? We'd never discussed our future before now. I mean, it made sense that he'd want to marry me if he wanted kids with me.

Hearing that only fueled my anger to the person who shot me. I wouldn't let him steal anymore happiness away from us.

"We're going to find out who did this to me, no matter what it takes. I want to shoot him in the ass and then in the head."

Adam grinned. "Right between the cheeks and right between the eyes. Sounds like a plan to me."

I closed my eyes, feeling the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing. I finally stopped fighting my body and the urge to sleep. Safe in Adam's arms, I dreamed about the family we would have someday.

💀

A loud racket startled me awake. Raising my sleepy head, I looked at the television as an infomercial played on mute, then I turned my attention to Adam. He heard the noise too and was already on his feet with his Glock drawn. My heart pounded in my chest as I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I instinctively cradled my stomach, but immediately let go to grab my own gun in the nightstand drawer.

"Stay up here," Adam said. "Don't come out until I've come back. I'm gonna go check it out. It's probably just the wind knocking something over, but I'll go make sure."

I nodded. "Be safe."

I had a bad feeling when he walked out my bedroom door. Gripping my gun tightly, I waited and listened carefully. Was the person who tried to kill me back to finish the job? Pulling my blanket down, I noticed a spot of blood on the pink sheet. I stood on unsteady feet, waiting for someone to dare try and get rid of me that easily.

Never let the enemy see your weakness. Emmett taught me that.

Soon enough, Adam returned, and I laid back down with a sigh of relief. No killers lurked in my house. Thank heavens! But my relief was short-lived.

"Someone tried to break in, but those damn strays you always feed must've scared him off," Adam said. "That orange cat was standing in front of the door like he wanted to take me on next."

"Serves him right. I ought to rally up the neighborhood strays and sick them on him."

Adam chuckled at that. "I'm gonna check the video cam footage to see if it caught anything."

I waited as he pulled out his laptop, which had been hooked up to the cameras outside. It took a few minutes to boot up, but when it did, I was surprised at the unexpected visitor on the screen.

"Son of a bitch. It's that dumbass kid again," Adam grumbled. "Do you know him?"

I looked closer at the screen then shook my head. "No, I don't. What's he got to do with anything? I mean, he clearly isn't the one who tried to kill me. The kid isn't old enough to have a license, let alone be able to drive and shoot a gun."

"You think the fucker's paying the kid to harass you?" he suggested. "I remember that day the little shit said something about getting paid for taking pictures of your house. I'm not sure why he'd be back though."

"We have to go out and find him. He might know who hurt me, and if we pay him enough, he'll snitch. Money always talks," I said. "Let me grab my coat. He could still be in the neighborhood."

"Slow down," Adam said. "You're supposed to be resting, remember? I'll get Chris to come drive around the neighborhood."

I pouted. "That's not good enough."

"You're in no condition to go out there and kick ass like you want to."

"I'm gonna call Emmett."

Adam groaned. "Please don't."

"Emmett won't stop until he finds the person," I replied. "I know you guys don't get along and I had a spat with him before, but we need to work together on this. The Voiceless Rebels keep a close eye on New Syracuse at all times."

"I understand. You want your big brother with you. But that doesn't change how I feel about him."

"It's late out." I peered out the window at evening sky. "So I'll give him a call tomorrow. We can hold the fort down on our own until then."

"Fine." Adam sighed.

"You care to keep watch while I shower?" I asked him, trying to hide the dark stain on the sheet with the blanket. "Doctor said as long as I keep my bandage dry, showering will help the healing process."

"Sure, go ahead."

Tucking my nightshirt as far down as it would go, I rummaged through my dresser for new lounging clothes. I looked at the digital clock near my jewelry box as it flashed seven p.m. in bright red. I slept the day away.

"Want me to change the bed sheet?" Adam asked.

Heat rushed through my face. He noticed? Talk about embarrassing. "No, I can do it. Don't want to gross you out with... All this. I'll use the black one this time. I should've done that in the first place."

"I grew up on a farm, honey. It takes a lot to gross me out," he replied. "Go shower and I'll change them for you. Are you hungry? I can fix us something if you want."

"Okay, if you're sure, and make yourself something if you want. I'll try to take a few bites, but I really don't have much of an appetite."

"Alright. While you're in there, I'll give Chris a call."

"Sounds like a plan."

I cringed the moment I undressed in the bathroom and stared at my body in the mirror. A hot mess was the only thing I could think. When I stepped into the lukewarm water carefully, I tried not to look at all the blood trailing down my thighs. But I couldn't help it. The water covered my tears and washed away the icky blood. I could've stayed in there for hours, but Adam would grow worried if I tried to.

If I didn't have him, I don't know where I'd be. He kept me from falling apart. Knowing I wasn't going through everything alone made it so much more bearable. I didn't even want to consider an alternative where I had to be by myself.

Time would heal my broken heart. It was gonna be difficult, but I'd get through this. Life threw a terrible curve ball that hit me right in the stomach, where it hurt more than anything I ever imagined. I turned the shower off and stepped out, loosely wrapping a towel around my waist.

Sometimes I needed to stop and cry for awhile, but when I was done, I always got back on my feet. Nothing and nobody would ever pull me down. It just wasn't my time to be a mother yet, and as much as that pained me, I knew I had to keep living and fighting.

Blood would be spilled again, but this time it won't be mine.