Nothing hurt more than being told the heartbeat stopped. Not even the dreadful cramping.

I never got the chance to hold our baby or see his sweet smile. I never even got to tell him goodbye. It was too early to determine the gender, but I'll always hold on to my hunch that he was a boy. We didn't even have the chance to come up with names. Adam had just learned he'd be a father. We were so happy...

Why did this happen? Who wanted me dead?

My tears wouldn't stop falling. Emmett had to be tired of me crying, but I was glad he stayed by my bedside. I didn't want to be alone. If only they'd allow Adam to stay longer. At least he'd be able to visit later. I missed him so much. I just wanted to go home and lie in my own bed, curled up beside Adam.

I hardly slept a wink last night. Every time I drifted off, scary demon-like creatures hunted me like prey in my dreams. They seemed so real. Emmett woke me once when I started shaking and muttering weird stuff when I swore something tried to sink its claws into my stomach, tearing deep through my flesh. I couldn't help but check on my own bandaged gunshot wound, almost expecting to find demon scratches. Thank goodness I didn't.

The wind roared outside the hospital room. Gray storm clouds covered the sky and raindrops raced down the windowpane.

"Ms. Larson?" A soft knock came at the door before my doctor walked in. Farah Khan was so pretty; she wore a blue headscarf and white lab coat. A stethoscope hung around her neck. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Better than last night. But it still hurts a little," I admitted.

She gave me a sad, sympathetic smile.

I hated complaining about the pain. It made me feel pathetic and broken. Discussing the nitty-gritty details of how I felt got a little uncomfortable. I wasn't used to such invasive questions. I rarely fell ill as a child, so I didn't visit the doctor often. Whenever I did, I always had my mom by my side. I wished she could've been sitting beside me, telling the doctor everything instead. Making Emmett do that would be too weird. Mom would be at the hospital soon though, and I'd be so relieved.

Shifting slightly on the hospital bed, I noticed a speck of red on the white sheet. Not again. I knew the doctor saw it too before I hid the stain with the cover. I'd always had heavier periods, but never anything like this. I was so grateful Emmett sent Kaz to my house to grab me a backpack full of clean clothes to wear last night, but I couldn't help wondering if something was wrong with me.

"Am I supposed to... bleed so much?" I cringed just asking out loud.

"It's normal to have bleeding after a miscarriage, and the amount is different for everyone. But if you bleed through a thick pad in an hour for over two hours, let me know right away. That could be sign of infection."

I nodded. "All right."

Dr. Khan explained the medications she prescribed me and why I needed them. Like the IV antibiotic cefotetan and morphine. Emmett's ears perked when she mentioned the morphine. If she noticed the excited glint in my brother's bloodshot eyes like I did, then she didn't mention it.

"Do you have any questions you'd like to ask me?"

My heart thumped in my chest. Ever since learning I miscarried, there was one question I couldn't get out of my head. I almost felt guilty considering it, and I wasn't sure if I wanted the answer. But I trusted her to be honest and kind with her response. I was grateful to get such an amazing doctor to care for me.

"Will I be able to have a baby again?" My voice cracked. "And how soon could we start trying if I can?"

"Your body just went through something very traumatic. Gunshot wounds take up to two months to heal. While you physically can get pregnant again, you should consider how you feel emotionally about conceiving. You mentioned to me last night that this hadn't been a planned pregnancy, right? There's no need to rush things now. Let your body heal and rest first."

"You're only twenty-three. There's no need for you to be worrying about getting pregnant. You still have your whole life ahead of you," Emmett spoke up.

Doctor Khan frowned at my brother but didn't respond to him. Emmett didn't understand. He never would. It was already too much for me to process. But knowing it was possible that I could have a healthy baby made me inexplicably happy. Grief still strangled my heart over the baby I lost, but I had a slither of hope to create the family I always wanted. A small part of me wanted to try conceiving again, but the other anchored me down with hesitation and fear.

What if I lost another baby? I couldn't handle that. Just imagining it made my stomach queasy and chest tighten.

When the doctor left, Emmett got up to use the restroom. I loved my asswipe brother, but I wanted him to go home. His remark about me wanting another baby ticked me off. I bit back my tongue, but I wasn't sure I could do that any longer. He had no right to tell me how I should live my life. I never judged him harshly for his drug habits, yet I was delusional for wanting a baby.

"So, are you finally going to dump that pig?" Emmett stepped back out, scratching at his junk.

"What's wrong with you?"

"You realize Adam's at fault for what happened to you, right? There was no reason for him to take you out on that side of town in the middle of the night. He's a fucking cop. He knows how dangerous the neighborhoods over there are." Emmett shook his head. "You're too good for him. You deserve someone who would help you raise a family when you're ready for that. You know how those bastards are. They put their job before anyone else."

Every time he opened his mouth, he just irritated me beyond reason. I had reached my boiling point. I wouldn't just sit there and let him bad mouth the man I love.

"Adam will be an amazing father someday. He's dedicated to his job, but that doesn't mean he's any less dedicated to me. I admire what he does. He's a better man than you'll ever be. You're shitty for even suggesting what happened is his fault in any way," I snapped.

"You're my little sister. I'm supposed to look out for you, so that's what I'm doing. Adam doesn't love you. You're just someone he can fuck around with, but you're too blinded by his charm to realize that. The only reason he's with you is to get information about the gang. His love for you isn't genuine. He just wants to gather enough evidence to arrest us all. Can't you see that, Everly?"

"Adam does love me. You're wrong about everything," I told him. "We were out by the aquarium because he wanted to take me out on a fun date for Valentine's day. You're being paranoid for no reason. You're too high to think sensibly."

Emmett scratched at his neck before loosening his tie. "I don't want you to end up like mom did. When I heard you'd been shot, that was the first thing that came to mind. I was fucking terrified and pissed off. I thought he'd finally showed his true colors and shot you."

"Get out." I clenched down on my teeth, struggling to resist the urge to force myself out of bed to punch him.

"Are you for real? Come on, don't be like this, Everly. You need someone with you right now and it'll take our parents awhile to drive up here."

"I want Adam with me instead."

"What the hell's that cop gonna do that I can't?" he asked. "You're not being reasonable right now. He's probably responsible for what happened to you."

I shook my head. "You're full of crap."

"Is it really that far-fetched? Think about it. How come Adam couldn't shoot the fucker who did this? He isn't a novice with a gun. I bet he had one of his cop buddies do it. It would look bad on them if he knocked up their suspect."

"Suspect? Jesus, you've gone off your rocker this time." I sighed.

I paged a nurse into my room to explain the situation. Thank goodness it wasn't the rude one from last night. Emmett was furious to be removed from my visitor list and the room itself, but I didn't care. I couldn't handle him and his paranoid theories. My head hurt too much to argue with him too.

Adam would never hurt me or arrest me. He wasn't anything like our mom's former partner in the Chicago Police Department. I just wish he'd realize Adam's a great man. Why did they always have to butt heads with each other?

It didn't take long for Adam to reach my hospital room again. Seeing that he still wore his clothes from last night and had heavy bags under his eyes, I knew he'd stayed the night there at the hospital. Poor guy sacrificed sleep and didn't even bother to go to work because he'd been so worried about me. Adam pulled the chair up to my bedside, squeezing my hand tight.

"I'm so happy you're here." I wiped away the tears that fell again, wondering when they'd ever stop.

"They should've done this hours ago," Adam said. "Emmett's clearly in no position to look after you."

"Tell me about it," I muttered. I spared him the details of why I kicked my brother out.

The pain meds the doctor gave me a few minutes ago couldn't heal the ache in my heart, but they helped with the cramping in my stomach. I shivered as Adam peppered my face in kisses. The room resembled the inside of a freezer.

"We'll find out who did this, I promise. I won't stop searching until I find the fucker."

"I'm scared he's gonna come back," I mumbled. "He'll realize he didn't kill me and try to finish the job. I don't wanna die."

"I won't let that happen. I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe this time." Adam's warm hands felt heavenly against my skin. I didn't want him to leave my side again. He tucked loose strands of my hair behind my ears, gently wiping away all the tears that kept falling. "We're gonna start looking into some of y'all's drug clients first. They're the best suspects."

"It's possible one of them could be responsible," I admitted.

I hated throwing blame toward my brother, but Adam was right. The addicts we dealt with were the best suspects. I'd met plenty of lunatics over the years. Not everyone who came knocking on our door for a fix was a fruitcake though. In a twisted way, I saw some of our drug clients like a doctor who saw their patients. I cared about them. I didn't want them to overdose in a back alley or buy their drug from a sketchy place where they could be harmed.

"Kaz told me about a client y'all had who harassed you. Why didn't you ever tell me about that fuckhead, Dylan?"

"I didn't think it was important. Emmett handled him." I shrugged. "I doubt he could do something like this. He's too stupid."

"Even if that's the case, you should've said something to me. What if he tried to follow you home and God forbid-"

"I didn't think it was a big deal, okay?" I cut him off.

"I'm not trying to upset you, princess." He kissed my forehead. "But please tell me when something like that happens. I want to make sure you're safe. I know I couldn't do that last night..." He cleared his voice. "But I'll do my damndest to make sure no one ever hurts you again."

"Don't blame yourself. Sorry for getting snippy with you."

"No need to apologize. I understand. You've been through hell these past hours. I'm just trying to figure out who did this to you so I can beat the hell out of them."

"Jeez, you know you can't do that."

"If I'm not in uniform, I can damn well do whatever I want with the fucker who shot you," Adam said.

"Then I want to kick his ass too," I told him.

"Of course. We'll beat the bastard together, then let my partner arrest his ass. They'll throw him in a filthy cell where he belongs."

I wanted to do more than that. The person who shot me and killed our unborn baby didn't deserve to live. I wanted him dead, buried alive, choking on his last breaths.

💀

I woke up to the sound of thunder. I hadn't realized I fell asleep until I peered over at Adam, who munched on some chocolate chip cookies and watched a video on his phone. It was like waking from a fever dream. Voices drifted over to me from whatever he watched as I shivered, pulling the cover closer.

"You feeling okay?" Adam paused his video and rubbed my arm.

"Yeah, I guess so. Nothing hurts bad. Did I say anything weird?" I asked.

He frowned. "Huh? Nah, you were just sawing logs over there. Why? Did you have a nightmare?"

"I don't know. I can't remember. I don't even remember falling asleep." I rubbed at my eyes, yawning.

"Strange. But I guess it's good that you're getting rest," Adam replied. "The nurse came and checked in on you a few minutes ago. Said everything was looking good. They'll probably move you to the general ward tomorrow morning."

"Does that mean I'll get to go home soon? I want to lay in my own bed." I pouted.

"I don't know. I guess it all depends on how you're healing."

Resting got boring quick. I wanted to run out into the rain and search for the man responsible for hurting me. I liked to imagine hitting him with my car, flatten his face into the pavement like a mushy pancake.

Adam did his best to keep me entertained, but being restricted to such a small room felt like a prison. At least he didn't pace everywhere like my brother did. I swore Emmett would've been crawling up the walls had I not kicked him out.

I checked my phone for new messages, noticing two from my mom about ten minutes ago. They'd just arrived in New Syracuse.

"Looks like you'll get a chance to go home and shower," I said. "Mom and Dad are almost here."

"Do I stink that bad?" He chuckled. "I guess that wouldn't be such a bad thing. I can grab you some more clothes and whatever else you need. Maybe you'd even want your favorite pillow to feel more comfortable?"

"Yes, please bring it."

"I will."

Adam deserved to go home and rest himself. He must be so tired. He needed to get out of those blood-stained clothes too.

It wasn't long before my parents arrived. Dad held the door open for Mom so she could wheel her wheelchair inside. They greeted Adam and hurried over to my bedside, bombarding me with questions about what happened.

My folks met my boyfriend when I brought him down to their new house in Lincoln, Nebraska, for Thanksgiving last year. I'd been hesitant about introducing them, but got a pleasant surprise when they both seemed to like him.

"This is your dumbass brother's fault, isn't it?" Dad asked, scratching at his goatee.

I sighed. "No, Emmett's not responsible for this." I don't think.

"I told you repeatedly to abandon that moron. Look where it's gotten you by following him here. Come move in with us, sweetie. You know we've got a spare bedroom. Bring your boyfriend too. The place is big enough for you both," Dad said. "Lincoln has an excellent police department too. Maybe you could even get a desk job there, Adam."

"I appreciate the offer," Adam told him. "But I've got my duties here in New Syracuse."

"Oh, but you'd be serving a bigger community there. I have a buddy on the force who could even help get you a job. He told me they've even got a Keurig there. I bet NSPD has coffee that tastes like shit."

Mom grabbed his arm. "Honey, quit pestering the man." She gave me an apologetic smile. "You know how he gets. He hates this place."

"Out of anywhere that dumbass boy of ours had to go, why New Syracuse?" Dad asked. "Why did he even get a college degree? He's just dealing dope. That doesn't even require a high school degree."

"Jacob! Hush your mouth." Mom scowled.

"It's the damn truth, and I ain't afraid to say it. I bet someone from his group of thugs did this to our baby girl. Where's the dumbass at, Adam? He needs a good pop in the mouth," Dad threatened.

I was getting a migraine. Maybe it would be better if Adam stayed longer.

"Adam needs to get home and rest a while," I said. "I don't know where Emmett's at, and it doesn't matter. I'm just happy y'all are here now."

"Call me if you need anything, honey." Adam leaned down and kissed me on the lips. Had my parents not been there in the same room, it would've been more passionate.

"I will. See you later," I said as he walked out the door. I almost considered calling him back in, but I knew better.

"How are you feeling?" Mom's soothing voice reached my ears as she held my hand.

"Terrible." I blinked fiercely, as if it would keep the tears at bay.

"I know this must be so difficult, baby. But you're strong, and you have your family here to help."

I sniffled. "Why did this have to happen? What did I do to make someone hate me so much?"

Mom reached out to hug me. I moved closer to the edge of the bed to meet her embrace and cry on her shoulder as she rubbed my back.

"I don't know, Everly." She lowered her voice, whispering, "Whoever did this will pay, do you hear me? If Karma doesn't come for the bastard, then I will."