What even is this chapter?? And my god this is so late

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I had just finished up with training, rubbing my hair with a towel as I dried it off from the showers. I stepped out of the room, dropping the towel into the hamper as I went. Dallon was beside me as we walked side by side.

"So, I saw Ryan and Brendon fighting earlier," he said. "Are they okay now or do I have a chance?"

"Well, if you'd like to know, they had been fighting over you," I said.

"Why?" Dallon asked.

"Because they know you like Brendon," I stated.

Dallon looked absolutely mortified by my words.

"Holy fucking shit," Dallon muttered. "Wait, how does he feel about me? Does he feel the same way? Is he and Ryan still together? Oh my god, what if he actually left Ryan for me?"

At least this boy dreams big.

"Last I saw Ryan was giving him the cold shoulder and Brendon was apologizing," I said.

Dallon gave a small smile as we entered the canteen for lunch. I got into the line for food with Dallon right behind me.

"So, basically, how am I supposed to get to him?" Dallon asked. "Do you think I can maybe sit with you guys today?"

I looked over at our table where the others were already sat. Ryan was looking down as Brendon tried to wrap his arm around his shoulders, but Ryan only shrugged it off. Ryan happened to look up at that moment, giving Dallon a scathing look. Dallon smirked at him in response, very obviously eyeing Brendon up and down. In response to that, Ryan stuck his middle finger up at him before turning back to poking at his food.

"Maybe today isn't the best day," I decided.

He frowned in disappointment as we grabbed our food. Dallon headed over to his own table while I went to mine, sitting next to Tyler.

"Baby, it's not my fault that someone finds me attractive," Brendon said.

"But what if you leave me?" Ryan asked worriedly.

"I don't even know this Dallon kid, Ry," Brendon said. "But I can already tell he's nowhere as perfect as you."

"You don't know him, you're just saying that," Ryan muttered, fiddling with the flower on his colorful waistcoat.

I began to eat, letting the couple continue on with their quarrel. It somewhat reminded me of little arguments Lindsey and I used to have. Especially when one of us would get jealous if a stranger flirted with the other.

"I think that this is getting really old," Tyler declared.

Both the boys raised their eyebrows at him, stopping their arguing.

"You two obviously love each other so what's all the arguing even about?" Tyler asked. The two glanced at each other before looking at Tyler again. "Look, Brendon doesn't have anything to do with this, he doesn't even know who Dallon is. He doesn't even matter, fuck Dallon."

"Yeah, that's exactly what I don't want," Ryan stated.

Ray snickered along with me. I quickly sobered up at the death glare I received from Ryan.

"Yes, babe, I'm totally in love with you and I don't care about anyone else," Brendon said.

He wrapped his arms around Ryan, nuzzling his face into his neck. Ryan giggled, lightly pushing him away and crossing his arms.

"Stop, I'm supposed to be mad at you," Ryan complained.

Brendon laughed, kissing his cheek. I watched as Ryan gave a small smile, leaning over to kiss his boyfriend.

"Okay, I think that we need to give you a makeover so that way no more boys will be attracted to you, if we were to gel your hair up then everyone would be able to see how big your forehead actually is," Ryan stated. "I'll fight any guy who looks at you."

Brendon chuckled, rubbing his back gently, kissing the side of his head.

"Babe, I love you and all but you're too cute for that," he said.

"Just in case you've forgotten, I'm actually an assassin, I have killed many people in cold blood," Ryan pointed out.

Brendon rolled his eyes, pinching his cheek affectionately. "You're still my little cutie."

Ryan scrunched up his nose, pushing him away gently. The two laughed, making the rest of us join along. Ryan was blushing in embarrassment, but yet the smile still played on his lips.

"How come you two always seem to be perfect but yet my love life sucks," Tyler complained.

"Hey, I haven't dated anyone in a while either," Ray said.

"At least you're not in love with your best friend," Tyler countered.

"You never know, you don't know what I've thought about you," Ray said.

He leaned in for a kiss but Tyler pushed his head away.

"Fuck off, dude," Tyler said.

Ray laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah, I'm not into you. I'm totally out of your league."

Tyler groaned, shaking his head.

"Unless you're a man named Josh Dun, I'm not interested," Tyler stated.

Ray laughed, patting him on the back.

"You got your eyes on anyone, Gerard?" Ray asked me.

"Nah, I'm not really looking into a relationship at the moment," I said, a sad tone laced in with my words as they tumbled from my lips.

"Shit, sorry, I forgot about your wife and the car accident and all for a moment" Ray apologized.

I shrugged, looking down at my lap, but meeting Ryan's face when he spoke up.

"Actually, the rest of us were planning on having a movie marathon tonight," Ryan said. "You wanna join us? There'll be popcorn and other food."

I bit my lip, considering his offer. I really didn't want to get too attached to anything here. After a moment of mewling over the idea, I finally agreed to it.

"Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!" Ryan exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

"I don't want anything happening like last time," Tyler complained.

"What happened last time?" I asked.

"Let's just say it involved sexual things with Ryan's dick under a blanket," Ray said.

I scrunched up my nose at the thought. Ryan's face was bright red and Brendon was smirking.

"I wanted my boyfriend to feel good," Brendon said. "Besides, he's so irresistible I just can't keep my hands off him."

"Yeah, but it was also fucking nasty when we found out," Tyler said.

"You guys enjoyed it," Brendon said and Tyler threw his napkin at him. "Besides, you guys wouldn't have even noticed if Ryan hadn't sworn and moaned really loud."

"You gave me an orgasm, what do you expect?" Ryan replied, his cheeks burning red in embarrassment.

"We certainly weren't expecting it," Ray said.

"Gerard and I can go run out and get the beer and stuff," Tyler offered. "If that's alright with you."

"Yeah, it's definitely cool," I agreed.

I finished up eating just as the lunch ended. I went to the rest of my training classes, mostly just talking to Dallon.

"I think I actually like it here a lot more than I originally thought," Dallon said.

"Yeah, so do I," I agreed.

It was true, actually, this place was so much more fun than working in a little cubicle like I had been before.

"Then again, I only came here to chase after some boy," Dallon said with a chuckle.

In a way I did too, only I wasn't looking for love. Instead, I was looking for sweet revenge.

"Sometimes I just think about my old job and old life and how much it's just changed because I joined this place," he said.

"Yeah, I just used to be a businessman working in an office," I said. "My life has changed so much within the past month. Used to be a mundane and stereotypical American with the wife and child and white picket fence house and everything. Yet, here I am now, training to kill people."

"Wife and child? Huh, what are they like?" Dallon questioned curiously.

"My wife was beautiful, she loved music and playing bass. She had all these tattoos and the most gorgeous smile I've ever seen," I remarked with a small smile. "And I had a little girl, she was so creative. She always used to draw pictures and I would hang them up in my office. She said she wanted to be just like me when she grew up and she would wear my boots around the house even though they nearly went up to her knees. She was just the cutest little thing I've ever seen."

Dallon nodded, a solemn look on his face. "I couldn't help but notice you talk about them in past tense."

I nodded, sighing deeply. "Yeah, they're gone now."

The work day was soon over and I met Tyler up in the front lobby. He had ditched his suit for a blue t-shirt with a picture of a tiger on it along with a pair of white jeans.

"So, we can just go to the Walmart that's a few blocks away," Tyler said as we headed out to my car.

"Yeah, I know the way," I said.

Bandit always begged me to go because every time we went I would always let her get a sucker. Basically, she loved and would do anything for candy. I couldn't help the small smile that formed on my face, Tyler looking at me in curiosity.

"What's on your mind?" Tyler asked.

"Someone from the past, someone who's gone now," I said sadly.

I could feel a heartache in my chest, one that seemed to cause me physical pain. An ache in my heart that seemed feel like a punch in the gut. I was hit with a truck of emotions, reminding me of the day of the incident. The way it seemed so hard to just breathe. I didn't want to breathe, if I were to take a breath then it would all be over. The small sliver of hope where everything would be fine would be gone the second I took in a gasp of oxygen. And as soon as that moment was over, there was a deep longing in my chest, a hole that I never thought would be filled again. And then, after a while, I started to feel nothing at all. But it's better to feel nothing than to feel sadness.

I bit my lip, running a hand through my hair as a hope to suppress the rush of emotions I was feeling at that moment.

"Someone important?" Tyler guessed.

I nodded, starting up the car and hearing the sound of the engine roar to life. I just wanted to feel nothing again. "One of the most important women in my life."

"Your wife?" He assumed.

"My daughter."