Here is a Presidents' Day gift

~~

I sat down at lunch and glanced at Brendon before looking down again. Ryan came over and I flinched with guilt.

"Hey, Ry, can we go talk, in private?" Brendon asked.

Ryan burst into tears and we all looked at him in question.

"My dads are getting a divorce," he cried. "They've been together for thirty years, they've fought so hard to be together and now they're just ending it."

Brendon wrapped his arms around him as ryan cried into his shoulder. He looked at me for help and I shrugged. I knew Brendon was going to break up with him but there's no way he would do it while ryan was upset about his dads.

"Okay, okay, come here," Brendon said softly.

He stood up, wrapping an arm around Ryan as the two walked out.

"Wow," Ray muttered. "That sucks."

"Yeah, I'd be so upset if my parents got a divorce," Tyler agreed.

It was quiet for a moment as we all thought about poor Ryan.

"Anyways," Ray said. "You got a new assignment soon, Gerard?"

"I don't know, I don't think so," I said. "I've gotta talk to Jeph to see but I'm pretty sure I'm off the hook for the next week."

"You've had two missions already," he said. "Maybe soon you'll be able to go out on your own."

"Yeah, I'll probably fuck up though," I said.

The day finally went by and I was sore from training. I laid down on the bed in my room, sighing quietly. My phone rang and I groaned, pressing it up to my ear.

"Hey," the person said.

"Hey, Mikey," I said.

"I haven't heard from you in awhile, I just wanted to check up on you," he said.

"Oh, sorry, I've just been kinda busy lately," I said.

"Well, do you think you'd be able to come over for dinner tonight?" He asked.

"Oh, yeah, that sounds fine," I agreed.

"Great," Mikey said. "I'll see you soon then."

I hung up and sighed. Honestly, I really just wanted to take a bath because I was sore and had bruises forming on my skin because fuck Christina was tough. I feel bad for anyone who tries to mess with her because she could break me with her pinky.

I finally got up, changing into some jeans and I hoodie. I grabbed all my things and went out through the lobby. Jamia wasn't there, the other person already took over the night shift. I drove to Mikey's house and sighed when I pulled out in front of it.

It's not that I hated going to my brother's house. I love Mikey and I love his wife, Kristin, too. Mikey is always so kind and Kristin is possibly the sweetest person I have ever met. It was just kind of hard sometimes. Seeing a happy couple together and married in their pretty little house. I couldn't help but be jealous. Because I used to have that but now I don't. I used to have a family that I would come home to and be so happy with, just like Mikey and Kristin.

Mikey owned a small restaurant that was actually rather nice. It used to be Bandit's favorite restaurant. He opened it a few years ago and so far it's been pretty successful. Kristin was a preschool teacher, which was a very good thing when Bandit was little. She loved children so much and Bandit loved to spend time with her.

I sighed, getting out and going to the front door. I stepped inside and immediately smelled something cooking. My brother loves to cook, he has ever since he was in high school. That was a total plus to living with him because he always made me food.

"Gerard!" Kristin cheered.

She hurried over, giving me a hug.

"How have you been, sweetheart?" She asked sympathetically.

"I've had better days," I replied.

"Just remember, you already hit the low point so things can only go up from here," she said.

I forced a small smile onto my face and nodded. We went into the kitchen where Mikey was and he gave me a hug.

"Hey, man, how's it going?" He asked.

"Okay, I guess," I answered.

"I've missed you," he said. "Have you talked to mom or dad in a while?"

"No, I've been busy," I said.

"Doing what?" He asked curiously.

"Work," I replied. "I, uh, I got a promotion so I've been kind of caught up in all that."

"Oh, that's good!" Kristin chirped happily.

"Yeah, I guess," I said. "It's just been kinda like busy, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it," Mikey agreed.

The two looked at each other and I frowned in confusion. There was some sort of unspoken conversation between them that I wasn't included in.

"What's up?" I asked, sitting at the counter.

"Well, we have some big news," Mikey said.

I raised my eyebrows as they both smiled happily.

"We're pregnant," Kristen announced.

I couldn't help but feel a pang in my chest at that. Oh god, I wanted to be happy. I was gonna be an uncle to a beautiful baby. But they're having a baby. They're gonna be a nice, happy family. And I had no family anymore. I wanted to be the one with the child and the wife and the happy life. But Frank Iero took that away from me.

"That's great," I said, forcing a smile onto my face. "Congratulations."

Kristin smiled and kissed my cheek.

"We want you to be the godfather," she said. "We know you'd always take care of our child."

"Of course I would," I promised. "Thanks, guys."

Mikey smiled, patting my back.

"Now, who's hungry?" Mikey asked.

Soon we were all sitting around the table eating.

"When are you due?" I asked.

"May 14th," she said. "In a month we'll be able to find out what the gender is."

I took a deep breath, looking down.

"I'm sorry about everything," Mikey said quietly, rubbing my back. "And I'm sorry if all this is just making you miss them."

"It's okay, you guys should be happy," I said. "I'm spoiling your happiness, I think I should just get going."

"Gerard, it's okay," Kristin said. "We like it when you're here."

I shook my head, standing up.

"Congratulations again," I said.

I walked out quickly, feeling like my chest was tightening. I drove away quickly, feeling my eyes burn with tears. I didn't know where I was going but I found myself parked in the middle of the empty street.

I got out of my car, going onto the sidewalk. There was a small memorial of just a couple flowers and a candle. The people who live here have kept it up all this time. This was the place where Bandit and Lindsey were killed.

I kneeled in front of the small memorial, taking a few deep breaths. Tears rolled down my cheeks. God, I missed them so much. I loved them so much. But I was never gonna be able to get them back.

I couldn't help but feel guilty now about Brendon. God, how could I be with someone else. I felt like I cheated on lindsey. I never thought I could love someone again after Lindsey. Not that I love Brendon, because I don't. But I never thought I could be intimate with someone again, never thought I could feel that good with someone else again and it made me sick that I could.

"I love you, baby," I whispered.

I picked up one of the bouquets, looking down at the soft pink petals.

"I love you too, Bandit," I mumbled.

My phone rang and I wiped away my tears.

"Gerard!" Tyler exclaimed. "Oh my god, you will never believe what Josh just did."

"What?" I asked quietly, setting down the flowers.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing," I said, clearing my throat. "What's up? What'd Josh do?"

"Okay, okay," Tyler said excitedly. "So we were hanging out and stuff, you know? And I decided to like casually bring up Debby. And he was like 'oh yeah, she's pretty cool' and I was like 'so are you gonna ask her out at all or anything' and he was like 'nah, I'm not really into chicks that way' like oh my god can you believe it? He's actually fucking gay. This means that there's an actual chance for us to be together."

"That's great, Tyler," I said. "I hope you too are happy together. But I've gotta go, I'll talk to you later."

I heard him shriek happily before I hung up. It seemed like everyone was getting what they wanted. Someone to date someone to marry someone to raise. All forming their own happy families. And I couldn't do that. I was here all alone. Mikey and Kristin were having a baby, Tyler and Josh were possibly getting together. Everyone around me was happy and I was here as a little ball of misery.

I just wanted my family back, is that so much to ask for? I just want my wife and daughter back, the people I love. I don't want to have to live with this heartache and regret anymore.

Maybe if we hadn't gone out for ice cream that day, maybe if we used a different path, maybe if I'd just protected them. They could've been saved but they weren't. I let them die.

And Frank Iero. I swear. I've never hated someone in my life as much as I hate him. God, I just wanted to wrap my hands around his throat. How could he hurt my poor wife and child? And then he just pretended that nothing happened besides the time he sent me some stupid measly note.

I crumbled against the wall of the building, sobbing as I hugged my knees to my chest. I just wanted my family back, that's all.