I was just staring. My sleeve was pulled up. I was also very still. Because I knew, that if I moved even just an inch, I would grab them and go to town. I had said to Mat that I was going to the bathroom, he didn't question it even though he has been very suspicious over everything I do. The scissors glistened and I held my breath.

"Mat," I said, loud enough so he could hear.

"What's wrong?"

"Can you get in here please," I was very hasty, I didn't trust myself. Within seconds the door swung open and he rushed to me. He realised what was happening and I saw his eyes search every square-inch of the room for blood or cuts on my arm. When he didn't find anything he put the scissors in his pocket and hugged me. I started crying.

"I'm proud of you."

"For what! I was just about to break a promise and go down a rabbit hole."

"You were about to."

"No, I couldn't trust myself and instead called you. That's not healthy."

"For now, it's good enough." He hugged me tighter, knowing this was another cry fest. I love how I went from never crying to blubbering all the time. I mean I've always had something to cry about. I guess it's just built up and all my tears are coming out now.

"I'm sorry, it's just I have this horrible feeling in my stomach that something bad is going to happen, I just know it and I don't know what it is and I don't know if I'll be able to handle it."

"Don't apologise, it's okay to feel like this. And if something does happen, then we will go through it together, you will always have me, always." He stopped hugging me and kissed my forehead.

"Thank you." He wiped away my tears and guided me out of the bathroom.

"It's late, get some sleep." He probably meant for Draco's party tomorrow night.

"Wait what's the time?"

"It's almost 1 in the morning." I rushed outside and went into Draco's room. He was leaning on his headboard reading, what a nerd.

"Happy birthday!" He got up and let me hug him.

"Thank you Davina."

"Why aren't you excited?" 

"I am."

"Draco I told you, we're getting out of here, you do not need to be your father in any way shape or form."

"That's not the reason."

"Then what is it? You've been weird for a few days now."

"It's nothing."

Mat came in and said happy birthday and they looked at each other briefly. Something was communicated and Draco deep breathed and looked down at me.

"Oh I know, both of you are doing that thing where you tip toe around me and wait for me to crack."

"That's not what we're doi-"

"No Draco, I know. I'm not fine, whatever's happening with our parents is really bothering me and I feel like a sitting duck just waiting for the bomb to hit. But you both need to stop looking at me like that."

"Davina," he exhaled and I looked up at him. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I just need you to be yourself." He nodded and I hugged him again. "Happy birthday."

I left with Mat and we went back into my room.

"You're killing me." He said desperately as we got into bed.

"Why, what did I do?"

"It's not your fault, at all, I just didn't realise how much you affected me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You in this state is physically painful for me to experience. And don't apologise."

"Then what do you want me to say?"

"You don't have to say anything, just go to sleep."

<><><><><><><>

"Do you want to start getting ready?" Mat asked, still kissing my neck softly.

"How long do you think I take?"

"Well, Draco is almost done."

"That's because he's horny."

"And what are you?"

"Excited for the beverages being served tonight."

"I don't want to control you but I will say one thing. Don't get plastered, just drunk, okay?"

"Fine, but no promises." I got out of bed and stretched, his eyes were at my legs where the top I was wearing inched higher. "Alright, we should get dressed." I opened a draw grabbed my dress and rushed into the bathroom.

"Why are you not undressing in front of me?"

"I want you to see me when I'm ready. Oh which reminds me, can you give me my heels?"

I opened the door slightly so he wouldn't peek and I snatched them off him and shut it.

I brushed my hair out and the natural waves fell. I then applied my makeup, which took no less than a minute because It was just mascara, eye pencil and a tinted lip balm. Once I thought it was enough, I put on the dress. I wasn't going to wear anything underneath and I thought Mat would appreciate that. I buckled my strappy heels and then I walked out.

I found him sitting on the bed in a polo shirt and jeans; all black of course. I noticed the shirt was tight on is muscly torso.

He looked up at me and then stood up. He cleared his throat and straightened himself.

"You look absolutely fucking hot." I laughed. "If I refrain from looking at you tonight it's not because I don't like the way you look it's because I want do sinful things." I laughed again.

"You look really good too."

"Just for you." He smiled, "should we go down?"

"Um, well it's just started there's probably not a lot of people so we could wait a bit."

"You don't want to make an entrance."

"Well it's just I haven't really-"

"You look amazing, and why shouldn't you make an entrance?"

"Because everyone will be looking at me."

"So what?"

"I don't like being the centre of attention."

"You won't, Draco will be because he's crazy when he drinks."

"Let's just go." He grabbed my hand and walked us out and we got to the entry of the ball room. He squeezed my hand as we walked and straight away around 30 people turned and looked at us walk in out of the 50 that were there. I tried to ignore them and look for Draco, and finally I found him, drinking already.

There was a girl next to him unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt and as I saw more clearly I identified her as none other than Morana. Astoria was attached to his other side and Pansy was standing to the side, facing away. Fucking better be.

"Well that is surprising," I said, speaking about Morana.

"No it's not, I told you, she has some sick mission to get with every guy in your life."

"I don't think so though. It's his birthday and there aren't many suitable guys here."

"Now that just hurts my feelings." I turned and saw Theo along with Enzo. Theo was wearing a questionable shirt and blazer and Enzo was in all black, like Mat.

"Hey guys."

"So, I'm pretty sure it's already known but you look extraordinarily stunning." Enzo spun me around and I giggled.

"Thank you, you boys look very handsome as well." I met eyes with Enzo and he smirked. Theo kissed my hand and turned away, eyeing the girls around.

"You look beautiful, dressed to kill." Enzo said and I looked down and smiled. I met his eyes again.

"Maybe just maim or seriously injure." He chuckled and then was dragged by Theo.

I turned back to Mat and his hands snaked around my waist.

"Extraordinarily? Really? How come he knows big words and I don't?" I smiled amusingly, then kissed him softly, he smiled, "and then what was that dressed to kill maunder?" I kissed him again, with a little more oomph and his hands travelled down and he groaned a little. "Okay, fine, let's go now, Draco won't mind."

"How about, I go talk to my friends and you go get us drinks so you can have some time to control yourself." He nodded while he looked over me and then closed his eyes. "Count to 5 and then open okay?" He nodded again and so I rushed off. I looked back to see him head to the drinks table and I laughed to myself. I wasn't watching where I was going and I bumped into someone and fell.

"Fuck."

"I'm sorry, are you alright?" They said and helped me get back on my feet. I realised who it was by the sound of his voice and I was suddenly very aware of the location of his hands.

"I forgive you," I said slowly and finally locked eyes with him. He was still holding my arms.

"Oh uh Davina."

"You seem surprised, I think I'm the one who should be surprised."

"Why?"

"This is Draco Malfoy's birthday party."

"Oh right yeah, I came with Anthony who was invited by Morana." I rolled my eyes internally, I guess Anthony will be happy that she's all over Draco.

"How are you?"

"I'm uh, fine. I was actually shocked when you walked in earlier."

"Why?"

"You hate being the centre of attention."

"Right, I do." I looked down to where he still held onto me. He followed my gaze and squeezed.

"I got our drinks." Michael snatched his hands back and I turned to Mat and grabbed my drink.

"It was nice seeing you Da- yeah, sorry for bumping into you." I smiled and he walked off.

"I fell, he was helping me up."

"The whole time I was getting drinks?"

"It was awkward." He nodded.

"You okay?"

"Splendid," I said sarcastically and gulped down my drink.

<><><><><><><>

I was about 7 drinks in and that's when it started to get blurry. Mat and Draco were playing beer pong so I had to go find something to do. I was buried in the dance crowd and tried to escape but failed miserably and ended up falling. I tried getting up but there was people everywhere. I felt a pair of hands hold onto mine and lift me up and from the clothes I knew who it was.

"Oh Mat, you found me, can you take me somewhere it's really loud." He put his arm around me and led me out of the ball room. 

He sat me on the staircase and I looked up at him. "Oh, Enzo, sorry, you and Mat are practically wearing the same thing."

"It's okay how are you feeling?"

"I thought this would be a good drunk, but right now my head hurts and I feel like crap."

"That's because I think you had too much."

"How would you know?"

"I'm observant." I looked at him.

"How did you see me fall?"

"I was watching you dance. You're drunk so I didn't want anything to happen to you."

"Right." We sat for a few moments and I felt myself loose balance again. I ended up falling on him and he let me lie on his shoulder. Once the room stopped spinning I spoke. "So you know that thing you told me, the one about you being in love with me."

"You're drunk Davina we can talk about it tomorrow."

"No, no, this isn't drunk me I'm genuinely curious about something."

"Alright go on, you won't remember this anyway."

"I was just wondering if you still do." There was a long pause.

"I do, but I think I can live with it and get over it eventually, you don't need to treat me any differently." I stood up, sobering slightly and he got up as well and stood across from me, ready to protest.

"But it will be different Enzo. We're close friends, and I'm with Mattheo. You will just have to be there when we're together and I know that it isn't fun, it's painful. So you really need to quicken the process of getting over me."

"It's been years Claire."

"That's because you left and I was single, you didn't know if I was taken so you always believed I was available. But you're back and I'm not available." I guess I needed some alcohol to give myself the courage to do this with him. But alcohol or no alcohol the look on his face right now still hurts all the same. He leaned in closer leaving several cinches between us and whispered.

"I just want to know, if you weren't with Riddle and I came back and you could date whoever and I told you I liked you, would you have gotten with me?" I knew the answer, it was yes, but I wasn't sure whether to say it out loud, to tell him.

"Yes, I would."