*contains sexual themes*

February 1998

"Come on Davina, you need to stop doing this." I tried pulling him back into bed, but once again he pulled to him to try and get me out. 

"Why? I just want to lie with you, I have separation anxiety. You're my comfort person, come on Michael, please." I begged and he exhaled.

"Thats why you need to stop doing this because its harder to say no to you every day."

"Then don't say no." He chuckled in disbelief. 

"Oh whatever." He threw his hands up and then got back into bed in his uniform.

"Yay."

"You have me wrapped around your little finger."

"As long as you know." He laughed and then wrapped his arms around me. 

"So, you've been good." Not a question.

"Yeah, relatively."

"We've been good, well great." My heart was beating a little faster because this conversation was making me uncomfortable.

"I guess so."

"What has it been like 3 months or so."

"I think a bit more."

"Exactly."

"Exactly what?" I asked, looking up at him. 

"Well why don't we have a date?"

"We've had dates, or have I been imagining your presence." 

"Hanging out in my room and having snacks from Zonkos isn't a real date."

"So what are you suggesting?"

"I will organise everything, you just have to meet me tomorrow near the lake." I nodded and looked back down, hugging into him tighter. He giggled at me and said, "you don't have to be nervous, there are no expectations, you just have to show up."

"Do I have to look nice?"

"Its still winter so you can show up in joggers for all I care." I nodded again and kept lying with him. 

These past several weeks I've not only gotten over Cedric but I've been less anxious and stressed and more importantly I haven't seen Madam Pomfrey in a good while. Draco, Mat and I are good and back to our old bickering and Morana has fit in our group nicely. Actually her and Mat are connected at the hip, so Draco and I have been spending a lot of time together. And Michael and I have been great and he makes me smile so I spend most of my waking minutes with him, and all my sleeping minutes. I don't even remember what my own bed looks like. 

"You really don't need to worry. Nothing's changing." He said, as if he knew my next thought.

"I know, I can't help it."

"And even if things do change - because it's inevitable -  it's not always bad."

"You're the smarty pants, whatever you say goes." He laughed again and as I laid on his chest rising and falling with his breathing I smiled.

"We really should go now. There's not going to be any food left." He started leaving me on the bed, much to my dismay. 

"Its Friday right?"

"Yes."

"We have class together first, so while you go and eat your breakfast I'll get ready and then meet you in class." I got out of the bed finally, revealing my bare legs. I was only wearing his shirt and my underwear and it left a lot of places for him to roam, which he gladly did. He looked back up at my eyes.

"You need to eat."

"I will at lunch, I don't mind."

"I know you don't mind, but I mind."

"Go eat and let me get dressed."

"But I like to stay for that part." I smiled as I leaned in to him. Our lips met briefly and I moaned slightly as we parted and he jutted his bottom lip. 

"What?" 

"You can't make noises like that and then expect me to leave."

"Go." He opened the door as he sulked and left finally as I got changed. 

<><><><><><><>

I grabbed my book bag and headed to charms. 

"Hey." I Turned around and found Michael with his book bag and a piece of toast.

"Did you need some food for the road?" I joked. 

"No, this is for you."

"Michael I'm fine."

"Just take it." I took the toast and we walked as I ate. 

I saw Morana and Mat walking towards us in the hall and I stepped closer to Michael finishing off my toast. Morana smiled at me and raised her eyebrows as if to say oh my god I'm walking with Mattheo! and Mat just looked at me.

"Hey, Dav, I feel like I haven't see you in ages."

"Yeah I guess." I wasn't sure why this was awkward but it was. 

"So, how you been?"

"Fine, great actually."

"Do you want to hangout after classes like we used to?" I glanced at Michael and looked back to Mat, noticing Morana's foot tapping on the floor as if to make this conversation end quickly. 

"Uh, I'm actually studying after school."

"Oh okay." He nodded and I stood there trying to look anywhere else but at him. 

"We're still best friends?"

"Yeah, of course Mat."

"Okay." There was another awkward pause and Morana looped her arm around his.

"We're going to be late, we should go." Mat nodded and walked away with her.

"What's wrong with you and Riddle?"

"Nothing, we just haven't hung out much. He's been spending a lot of time wit Morana."

"Why'd you lie about studying then?"

"I didn't. I'm studying with Draco."

"Oh okay."

<><><><><><><>

"Hey Dav, what's up?" He was leaning against the threshold of his dorm, the door only open enough for him to fit. 

"I told Mat and Michael I was going to study with you today."

"You didn't want to tell me?" He asked, sarcastically.

"We don't have to."

"Just um, wait a second." He backed up and closed the door and I stood there waiting. I heard him apologising to someone and then the door was open again but wider this time and I could see Blaise packing up a game of chess by the looks of it. "Let's go to the common room." We walked down together and sat on the couches, I had brought an astronomy book with me so it at least looked liked we were studying and no one else had that class with us so they wouldn't know about the kind of homework we had. 

"So spill."

"What?"

"Why did you lie to your closest friend and your boyfriend?"

"Mat wanted to hang out but it was awkward and I told him I'd be studying and Michael was there so he questioned me about lying to Mat so I told him I was studying with you."

"Then Michael was right."

"Oh shush."

"You still didn't answer the question."

"I don't know. He's been spending a lot of time with Morana that I don't want to intrude on their growing feelings."

"You won't be, they've just bonded on the fact that they only had their father and no one else, and Mat doesn't have many people willing to spend time with him, and all your time is being occupied. He also told me he doesn't like Morana, that they're friends."

"He should tell her that."

"Why does she like him?"

"Very much so. It's all she talks about. It's like she wants to bond with me by talking about Mat."

"Her feelings will pass and you will get to hang with her." He smiled reassuringly.

"Why doesn't Mat like her? Or anyone for that matter?"

"I don't know, I guess he's not a feelings guy."

"Well he should like someone at least, he seems lonely."

"He'll be fine."

"You could've told me that you were busy."

"What do you mean?"

"Before, with Blaise."

"It's okay, we weren't doing anything serious."

"Still."

"You've been so good and happy, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just stupid."

"My least favourite word is nothing, so stop using it."

"Michael is setting up a date tomorrow and he was saying how we've been going good. He said. that tomorrow that there are no expectations and that he just wants me to show up. Isn't that weird?"

"Well you guys have been together for what, 4 months?"

"Almost. He said the same thing, why does it matter? What did he mean?"

"He probably meant that you guys are serious."

"Yes but we've had sex, and I practically live with him so what else is there?"

"Maybe he wants to tell you something, something about his feelings towards you." I knew what he meant. I looked away, glancing around the common room. Mat and Morana had just walked in and I noticed they were holding hands. He took her to the dark part of the room and I watched as he kissed her. I put my attention back on Draco.

"Are you saying he loves me?"

"That's the only thing I can think of from what he's saying. What are your feelings?"

"I don't know. What is love? I forgot how I figured it out the first time."

"Don't you just know."

"I guess." I was starting to freak out and I glanced at Mat and Morana again, snogging. Draco looked now and laughed.

"Well that answers our questions. He wants sex and she's going to get hurt."

"He shouldn't lead her on that way."

"Well he doesn't know she likes him."

"I know I just don't like it." I had glanced at Pansy who was gossiping with Astoria. I looked at Draco again and he read my thoughts in my eyes.

"Davina," he said, stopping me from breaking my promise to him. 

"I know, I will never talk about it again."

"Back to your feelings."

"Great."

"What are they?"

"I don't know Draco, they're different this time. Yes, I want to just hug him all day and be with him but I don't have the same feelings about him that I did with Cedric."

"Just see what happens."

"But he's going to say it tomorrow, and I don't know what I'm feeling, or what I'll say." I put a hand to my chest and started to freak out again. Draco sat up and came to me from the other side of the couch. 

I tried to focus on him but I wasn't having much luck. He went into panic mode which stressed me out. 

"Its okay, Dav, just breathe."

"I'm not in love with him, I don't love him." He put his hand on top of mine on my chest.

"Its okay, just breathe, deep breaths come on." He breathed with me and he rubbed my back which he knew always helped me. I slowly calmed down and he exhaled, I noticed Mat looking at me from across the room. "I thought you didn't get these anymore."

"I guess they have check ups every now and again."

"You should talk to Michael, share how you're feeling, otherwise you'll just be more anxious."

"I know that I should but I'm scared, what if he can't be in the same room with me. I still need him. We were friends first, we can be friends now."

"You just have to be patient, but you do have to tell him, or you'll be worse than them." I knew he was talking about Mat and Morana but my mind went to Pansy, although what I'm doing is definitely not as bad as what she did.

<><><><><><><>

I turned over, noticing that the time was after midnight. I sat up slightly and saw Michael still scribbling away at his desk.

"Michael, come to bed, you've been studying for hours."

"In a second." I shook my head and got out of bed, walking towards him. I closed his book and put it on top of the parchment so he couldn't keep writing. He got up finally, and turned to me. He leaned down and kissed my cheek softly before joining me in bed.

"Remember tomorrow. The lake, after lunch okay?"

"Mhm yep." I felt horrible lying here with him when I didn't feel the way he did. Just one last night with him. 

I turned to him and moved in closer so I could kiss him. His eyes opened slightly as he kissed me back, slowly getting on top of me. My hands found his hair as he just kept kissing me passionately. He was gripping my waist and he moved up slightly putting his hands under my top and below my breasts. 

I tugged on his shirt and he sat up slightly as I lifted it over his head and admired his torso. He lifted my shirt exposing my bare chest and then he started pulling down my leggings along with my panties. He came back to kiss me again and I snaked my hand on his waist and played with the hem of his joggers. He grazed a hand along the inside of my thigh inching closer to my core. My breathing quickened as he reached the spot that was aroused my his touch, then he began rubbing softly causing me to moan between kisses. 

"You okay?" I nodded. He kept going slow and I felt myself getting more and more wet. He then pulled down his joggers slightly along with his boxers and he kissed me softly as he entered me slowly. My nails dug into his back as he went in and out slowly.

We both groaned and we were kissing again and more vigorously as his thrusts quickened. One of his hands grabbed mine and held it on the bed as he became unsteady. We were both moaning as we kissed, biting each other lips. He groaned in my ear which sent me over the edge and I came undone beneath him. He went in  once more and pulled out as he came on my stomach. He caught his breath as he grabbed his wand and cleaned us both. Then he kissed me once again, longingly and I wrapped my arms around him; attaching myself to him as we fell asleep in each others arms.