We didn't talk about what happened that night. I threw away that paper, trying to forget I ever wrote it. Maybe we could just go back to normal now. The problem with that was the words and their reason were still engraved into our memories and it did something to Ryan.

Each morning after, I would wake up cold with Ryan either on the opposite side of the bed with his back to me or completely alone. He barely held me now. When I needed to leave early, he didn't drop everything to kiss me like before and only mumbled a goodbye.

He seemed to keep himself away from me whenever we got home from school and our goodnight kisses, if we had any, felt like they were done simply out of habit now.

He wasn't as cheerful as before and it hurt me to know it was all my fault. If I wasn't stupid that day and got caught in a daydreaming, I wouldn't have written that down.

Tonight when I got out of the shower, I saw him already in bed asleep. I pulled on some boxers and climbed in beside him. He was actually facing me, but I wasn't sure if that was intentional.

I slowly moved forward and rested my head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. His arm went around my body and pulled me closer. I wasn't sure if he was asleep or not anymore.

"Babe," I whispered. He hummed in response. I shut my eyes to keep new tears from falling. "I love you," I breathed out.

"I love you too," he mumbled sleepily. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. Maybe it'll get better and we can be happy again.