9

Ryan was bouncing the infant gently in his arms, trying to get him to stop crying.

"Shh.. it's okay buddy. Please stop crying," Ryan cooed and begged, but Lucas continued to cry. Ryan looked over at me with desperation written all over his face. I gave a little laugh and got up from the couch.

When I was close enough, Ryan moved and carefully placed the child in my arms. I looked down at the baby then faced Ryan to see he took a few steps backed.

I held Lucas against my chest and hummed softly as I rocked my body slowly back and forth. It didn't take long for the cries to change into quiet snores. Ryan was looking at me in amazement.

"He hates me," he pouted. I smiled and went over to the crib to lay Lucas down.

"No one could hate you." I looked down at the infant, watching him sleep peacefully. Ryan came up behind me and snaked his arms around my body. He rested his head on my shoulder, still pouting.

"Well, he does." I rolled my eyes, still smiling.

"I want one," I said quietly, kinda regretting saying it out loud. Ryan lifted his head and turned to me.

"A baby?"

"No Ry, a monkey," I joked and turned my head toward him. "Yes a baby." When I saw the nervous look on his face, I looked back to the baby. "Not now, obviously." He rested against me again. "But one day."

"I think I'm fine with just helping you babysit your nephew," he said with a nervous laugh.

"You don't want kids?" When he shook his head, I felt my heart drop in disappointment. "Why not?"

"I'm not really a baby person and babies are not really Ryan people." He shrugged.

"I think you'd be a great dad," I said as I looked at him again.

"I wouldn't, believe me. I'm not the father type. Not like you. You're a natural."

"So, no kids?"

"Not for me, no." I turned back to my nephew. I tried to push down how upset I felt. I could picture a future with Ryan, but that future included kids of our own. 

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