Captain Hei-chuuuuu!>.<

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It wasn't supposed to be this way, you were absolutely terrified and you had no one to turn to.
You made a vow to yourself; don't make friends. Nothing of the sort was to be gained in the survey corps and you loathed the thought of getting close to another person only for them to leave you because of the titans outside the walls. Or even worse, you leave them and they grief and mourn over your death.

You never wanted to make someone go through that so you kept to yourself and hardly spoke but then everything changed when the survey corps; along with yourself, had another expedition in hopes to the rid the areas around the walls of titans. You were to travel through the land and slaughter as many as you could, only if the situation deemed it necessary.

You stuck to the formation in the back left area along with other more skilled and experienced soldiers. You had previously graduated from the 104th trainee squad and also watched as Eren Jaeger transformed into a titan in the battle of Trost.
It honestly scared you shitless but it was so amazing, you felt closer to succeeding your goal that was shared among all soldiers in the military; you were a step closer to saving humanity, even if it was an incredibly small step considering the amount of titans.
Eren fought the other titans and saved a lot of soldiers too, he went on a rampage and for the first time ever, a titan fought another titan.

You exited the walls as commander Erwin begun the expedition, all soldiers ran together before breaking into formation and your heart was pounding in your ears,
"Begin formation!"

You listened to your commander and broke away to get into your position. Your horse continued to run as you scrunched it's mane in your sweaty palm, "Cadet, don't forget to breathe!"
You squeaked in surprise and turn to the right to see the soldier next to you, you didn't know his name since you never bothered to learn any of the peoples names here. That would mean you were a step closer to being friends and that wasn't going to happen.
You nodded in response to his words but you breath was immediately sucked out of you when you heard those familiar steps.

It was a titan, running by you about one hundred metres away and it was a seven metre class. You shakily grabbed your flare to fire it above your head until you jumped when wearing one was already being fired. The yellow gas flew into the air as the abnormal came nearer, your breath was leaving your brain and you had forgotten to breathe. You saw nothing but the titan and finally after spotting you and hearing the flare, it was closer.

"Get ready soldiers, let's take this bastard down!"

They screamed with strength and confidence, they had faith in themselves and the people around them. Something you severely lacked. You turned your head to face in front of you and finally drew in a breath when watching a small building come into your vision. They were small stone houses and you hoped you could hide in there if the situation turned bad.

You brought your two hands across your body to bring out your swords, shivering when the cool metal met your heated skin. You steadily stood on your horse and watched when the man who led this section of the formation, used his 3DMG to glide across to the titan and cut the back of it's foot. It fell with a huge 'thump' on the ground, face-planting and you wanted to smile when the other soldier sliced the back of it's neck.

You wanted to smile, you couldn't remember the last time you had smiled but now you remained crouched on your horse while you were fully unaware of the titan that had been hiding within the buildings. You heard the steps and it's growling too. The man-eating monster did nothing but smile and swing it's hand straight in front of you.

The arm was so huge and you had nowhere to run, it was too late to turn away because by the time you finally brought your horse to the right, you were hit. You felt some relief when you felt your body flying into the wall of the building, the force of the impact causing the wall to shatter around you and crush your already broken body.

You were scared, your horse was most likely dead and you were trying to prevent that. It pained you to cough, it hurt so bad to breathe. You heard the two guys screaming your name, "(F/N)!"

It was weird, they knew your name? Why. The titan was digging threw the rubble when the two other men attempted but failed to gain the monsters attention. The titan found you and it seemed to smile more when it's hands had begun to cage around your limp body. Ragged breaths were all that was heard as you knew you were done for.

Until the titan stopped, fell and dropped onto you as it had been cut on the back of it's neck. You were trapped under the thing that was about to end your life and all you could register was all the blood, it was leaking from your mouth and spilling from your cuts while the monster above you continued to disintegrate. You heard the guys calling your name but you knew it wouldn't do them any good to try and save you, you were already gone.

Your right arm was shattered and you couldn't feel your legs. You chest felt so constricted, you knew you were beyond repair and you wouldn't be able to go on another expedition like this. You felt your breath leaving your body as the light hit your face, the men were cutting their way to you but you were already done for.

Leaving your body to disintegrate into the earth, what a delightful death.
You felt nothing, you knew nothing now.
You felt somewhat alleviated and odd like you were floating, you could feel yourself moving but you couldn't open your eyes, you couldn't move at all.

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It wasn't supposed to be this way, you were absolutely terrified and you had no one to turn to.
After the expedition, you were so peaceful and you felt something soft under you, it was like a bed. Your breathing was so even and felt calming, you heard breathing beside you but it didn't register that anyone would be near you. You felt too calm to realise that you were actually in the infirmary as the Captain watched you with mixed emotions on the inside, nothing on the outside.

Your eyes scrunched open, blinking to get used to the sudden brightness and you moved your arm to cover your eyes. Confused, your tired and sore arm moved to your chest to feel the even beating of a heart, your heart. You're alive but how was it possible?

"Tch.. Finally awake. Stop moving, you were practically a corpse according to Cadet Thomas."

You froze at the silky yet rough voice. It was calming but it shook your nerves, why had Levi- Captain Levi been sitting by your side. You scrunched your hand and it felt foreign and not right, it was warm too. Your other hand wasn't though.

Your chest felt tight and heavy and you couldn't formulate a proper sentence without flinching with the contractions of pain radiating throughout your body.

Thomas. Who was Thomas? Was he someone important to you? Or maybe he had found you, saved you. You didn't know his name, you knew no one's name unless they were important like the Commander or humanities strongest soldier.
The man beside you sighed, you gave him a side-ways glance but he never strayed from your sunken in eyes. He hated the sight of you, it was disgusting and frail like you were hanging onto the last thread of life before the reaper came to take you from him.

Your appearance made him internally cringe. Filthy, he thought. He despised this scene, he appreciated the sight of you, by yourself as you spoke to no one while people seemed to act like they didn't even know you.
It made him feel comfort and serene like you were the calm of the ocean after a life-threatening tsunami.

It made him feel like he was anchored down, his two feet on the ground when he would nonchalantly watch you from his window as you laid on the grass, the filthy grass that is. You never cared though, he liked that too.

"Th-Thomas..?"

Your broken and raspy voice cut Levi from his thought, his eyes that had wondered down your body had met your eyes again and he didn't even care that you had no idea who the person who assisted in saving your life was. He already knew your intentions and the reason for your actions, sometimes he wished he could be like that too.

"Pathetic. You don't even know the name of the Cadet that helped in saving you. You should be ashamed-"

"I shouldn't be here, I should've died."

"And what good would that have done, cadet (F/N)?"

This made you halt. First off; He questioned what good your death would've done? And then he also knew your name. It was too personal.

"I-.. Sorry Captain, I don't want to know anyone here, if my death benefited the wellbeing of humanity or not.. I don't care. I just want to get rid of titans."

"It's Levi,"

You were silent.

"The soldiers who are willing to sacrifice their lives for us do not die in vain, every death counts and all the one that can be prevented, will be to the best of our ability."

Timid warmth shook you from hanging onto his words, you looked down to see a hand and it was engulfed in your own. So that's why your hand was warm when you woke up.
You slowly looked up; after glaring at your bandage-covered legs, and stared into those dark grey eyes. You had never been close enough to truly admire them as they were really a beautiful sight.

You saw black diamonds within his eyes and you felt like you could finally take in a breath, the mild light shining through the window by your side allowed you to bask in the comfort of knowing that you were the only thing he saw.

Rapid knocking and hushed whispers intruded into your bubble of peace, a warm hand was taken away from your own and you turned your head to catch sight of some familiar faces, no names came to your mind though; except for Eren, Mikasa and Armin.

You didnt know what was going on, the captain looked annoyed when you focused your attention on them and most likely because the both of you weren't alone anymore,

"(Y/N)! Are you okay!?"

You gaped at the newcomers, not sure whether to glare defensively or stare in awe at the odd appearance of fear, worry and then relief in their eyes. Your body burned in strain and it hurt so bad to move but you couldn't help it when your nasty tears just had to made themselves known. Your eyes scrunched closed, a tired arm reached up to wipe them away and when you opened your mouth to answer,

"Shut up brats, she need rest so stop being annoying."

You laughed.

You couldn't help it, a laugh simply bubbled up and out of your mouth which effectively startled the group of people huddled around you. Mikasa stared nonchalantly though you could tell she was slightly confused maybe annoyed too. Eren couldn't help the small smile that broke out on his face and Armin stared wide-eyed after only having seen a straight and grim line across your lips.

Levi watched in awe in the back round, he felt somewhat proud that he had been the one to cause your angelic laughter but the tears were still leaking down your face. He was surprised; as was everyone else in the room, when he leaned forward to sit himself on your bed. His arm moved up and his rough fingers gripped your chin to keep you still, you held your breath when watching his grey eyes analysing you.

You heard people sucking in a breath of surprise and Levi once again caused you to shudder in disbelief when his fingers wiped away your tears. His light fingers trailed across your moist skin and he breathed out, his tea-scented breath fanning across your face and you had never felt so light.

"Brats, get out."

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Had this in my drafts for so long and I forgot what the ending was supposed to be so I just did this urgh so bad:/

Published at school- Sorry for being so late on updates, honestly im so lazy and busy at the same time. Im so mad at myself :')

Please comment your thoughts and such,
Tbh i wanna start making some sick ass vines but I know that aint gonna work>:3

- Oriana__3