Four Stages Of Grief.

(B/N) - Brother's Name
(E/C) - Eye Colour
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Your older brother and yourself and always taken care of each other. No matter how far or close, the two of you never left each others mind, you adored your close relationship with your brother and he did too. The Fairy Tail guild were very familiar with (B/N) because of how regularly he would drop by to check on you, he was pretty wealthy and independent on his own when he travelled all of Fiore so whenever he came by, the whole guild would become ecstatic, throwing a small party and having free meals due to (B/N)'s kind heart.

You were never frowning thanks to (B/N) because you knew that even when he wasn't there with you, he was always thinking of you and he never ceased to believe in you. It made you so happy, Natsu also loved (B/N) dearly; though he wouldn't say it out loud, because of the brotherly relationship the two maintained. Sometimes it actually annoyed the pink haired mage because of how reluctant you were to go on a mission in fear of missing (B/N) whenever he would drop by.

You knew (B/N) would never dream to hold you back but you always figured that every time he left to travel, he was also preparing you in a way for when he did truly leave for good. Or maybe for the inevitable of when you two had to be finally separated. The thought made you cringe with a hollowing feeling in your stomach but then again you were extremely grateful that (B/N) would be so wise as to think that ahead and do what he did.

People in the guild looked up to (B/N) since the man was slightly older than every one else there, the master saw him as a child even if he wasn't a mage- wizards still considered him apart of Fairy tail. You admired (B/N), even if he didn't possess magic or anything special like that, the fact that your elder brother had the courage and bravery to be on his own for such long periods at a time was pretty amazing to you.

You aspired to be like him at heart but you knew he wouldn't want you to be like him in every way, every time he visited you he would say the same thing. To never change and be yourself and don't do or say anything to please other people. This was practically your life motto, you were passing this onto other people whenever they were in trouble or were having their own doubts in their minds about themselves or others they cared for deeply.

So enough being said, (B/N) was your hero and you could never see his downfall because you knew that even though he was already physically preparing you for what was bound to happen, nothing could've prepared you for the anguish you would experience the moment he was really gone.

The moment you came home from the Fairy Tail guild after Erza finally calmed the quarrel between Gray and Natsu.

The moment your land-lady handed you that slightly crinkled letter that was addressed to you.

The moment you were seated on your bed that hadn't been touched for days because of your absence from your mission, ripping the letter open to reveal unfamiliar handwriting.

And finally the moment when your eyes read over those dreadful words that you wouldn't wish upon your worst enemy.

First, there was the Denial. You had to re-read the letter multiple times, Nothing and everything made sense in the letter; how it stated your brother tried to play hero and save a poor boy from a robbery, how your brother had stood up, protecting the boy- saving the boy and falling to his own demise all at once.

How could this happen? Surely it was a prank or maybe a test to make sure you would be okay without him. (B/N) couldn't truly be dead could he?

Depression. Shortly after the letter was opened, read and thrown, you were confused. You felt nothing- your limbs felt like bags of cement and you were so numb. The tears never stopped escaping your eyes but you did nothing to stop them, no matter how hard you wanted to.
The fact that this was what (B/N) was preparing you for, it almost made you laugh. The feelings; hurt, empty, alone and the pain. It was nothing like you would ever expect, how could he expect to prepare your mind and body like this. It was absolute torture.

It was like you were trapped in your own little bubble, every thing felt dazed like a dream and you only had one thing in mind; sleep. To always sleep and forget.

A little over a week passed and the paper was now scrunched up in the corner from when you had experienced your fit of rage. You were so Angry. How could (B/N) do this to you, what had you done to deserve it? Why would this higher and unseen being deprive you of your only blood related family left. You didn't care for much now, you only stayed in your home, day and night, you didn't see the point of going to the guild when they would only remind you of the amazing times you were around to see how happy the people were.

The thought of them being happy; Natsu, Gray, Lucy and Erza.. All the others in Fairy Tail. You hated to think of that, they didn't deserve to be happy in this time of grief and mourning. The funeral was to be held next week at the Magnolia Cemetery and you preferred to be alone. You found yourself becoming angry at a lot of different little things, they were so meaningless and insignificant but you didn't know how to calm yourself.

Maybe.. Just maybe your friends at the guild could help you. They never failed at placing a smile on your face before, maybe they could make you feel a bit better about (B/N). Maybe they could be the ones to heal you.
And so checking the time to see it was just after sun-down, you got out of bed and jumped in the shower. Relishing in the feeling of the warm water pouring over your body and down your back made you sigh in relief but you reluctantly got out.

You got dressed into something warm, something to make you feel protected somehow- it made you upset to look into your draws because you then knew of how little (B/N) things were in and around your home. He wasn't even with you anymore. Had it always been like this?

Shoving the thoughts from your mind, you slammed the front door shut behind you, walking along the river to reach the focal point of Magnolia; The Fairy Tail Guild. The doors were shut but you could hear the talkative wizards who occupied the building. Building.. it was more like a home to you but now you just felt so lost.
There were lights pouring from the windows and shadows of people who walked by inside, nobody must've left to go home, good thing for you, you guessed.

The doors slowly creaked open at your touch, placing more of your bodily weight against the large entrance as you looked inside. Your eyes squinted at the light that was shone upon you, your (E/C) orbs adapting to the setting of the wizards all turning to you, their eyes widening at the sight of you looking so tired and pale as you hid your frail form in the large hoodie and loose pants.

It became silent, deathly silent and the thought made you internally cringe. You came here to forget and that's the first thought to enter your mind? Why did you come here, you shouldn't have- it was a mista-

"(Y/N)! Where have you been, We missed you around here!" You heard Natsu yell. The pink haired Dragon Slayer raced straight towards you to pull you straight into his rapid and awkward embrace. He laughed, which contagiously brought a small smile to your face. Gray seemed to brighten at your appearance and you were silent and smiling until you realised every one was waiting for your answer.

"Oh- uh, I was just at home.."

Your small voice surprised every one, you knew you sounded like you had been crying- which wasn't a lie, but you wouldn't say such a thing to them. You wouldn't dare to place your burden upon them.

Natsu smiled anyway, unfazed by your voice or answer. Gray approached you as well, seemingly interested but he smiled lovingly anyway to help lift your spirits. You knew that deep down all of them watching you knew something was wrong. It actually surprised you that no one wanted to make it their concern for your own wellbeing but you were slightly grateful. After all, you did come here to forget.

"Yes, we were worried about you, Glad to see you're okay (Y/N)."

Erza was by your side, giving you a smile of her own as her mouth delivered those words in her strong voice. You turned to her and smiled, seeing the concern and content in her eyes, watching as it was also mirrored in the eyes of the wizards you looked into as your eyes skimmed the building. They were crowding around you with joy radiating off of them, people going back to chatting and drinking amongst themselves while your usual gang; which consisted of Natsu, Gray, Lucy and Erza, followed you to a vacant table.

You took a seat, slumping on the wooden chest as another sigh escaped your mouth. Gray seemed to notice as well as Lucy and they; especially Gray, were determined to bring that illuminating smile back to your somewhat drained face.

"(Y/N), when's (B/N) coming home?"

His smooth voice seemed to silence out everything around you, you tensed at the sentence and the name that left his mouth. The name you couldn't pronounce ever since that wretched letter made it's way to your home, how that name rolled off of Gray's tongue so effortlessly made you angry. You couldn't show it though.

"Yeah! How long has it been, like a month now? I miss (B/N)!" Natsu screamed a second later when he heard the name in between his conversation with Happy who was sitting on the table. Erza also chuckled at the thought of (B/N) and the happiness he brought out in the Guild. Lucy smiled softly when she thought about the male who made you so happy, she always envied you for that but she was glad he always cared for you like a proper brother should.

"Yes, it's been a while- wonder when he's coming home, do you know (Y/N)?"

It was too much now, too much talk about him and too much unwanted memories coming back

- Flash Back - 

"Where are you going (B/N)?" A thirteen year old (Y/N) asked her older brother as she watched him packing some clothes into a bag. The boy turned to his younger sister, smiling reassuringly and kneeled down to your height as he petted your head.

You accepted the affectionate action with a smile, almost forgetting the fact that your brother looked as if he was going to leave, so you straightened your posture and watched with awaiting eyes.

"Don't worry, I'll be home soon. Just remember I love you, and never change okay? Remember I'll always be with you, no matter what.. I'll come home."

You yelped with glee, jumping onto (B/N) at his answer as he laughed at your actions, hugging your smaller frame within his. You knew it would be okay.

- Now -

You were looking down at your lap, content with your hood covering your face when you answered in a cracked voice, mentally scolding yourself for feeling the tears come back, "He.. He isn't coming home.."

"What?"

Every body at the table spoke in unison, you hoped they didn't hear or maybe they would get distracted by something else. But the tears already grasped their undivided attention and they only waited for you to elaborate.

You felt angry again, numb, why was this happening? You stood up ferociously, you didn't have to explain yourself when these people were only making matters worse.

"I said, he isn't coming back! (B/N) is gone! And he is never, ever coming back! He won't come back so stop saying his name, he left me! He.. He le-left me.."
You were crumbling now, tears streaming down non-stop as your heavy limps had dragged you down to the floor. Bystanders watched with horrified expressions, anger and immense sadness written on their faces but they did nothing. You never wanted to seem weak to them, and here you were, looking like a pathetic little crybaby.

You wrapped your arms around your legs, trying to hide yourself from the eyes that bored into your form as helpless sobs escaped you. You were loud, no matter how hard you tried to conceal your tears of anger, depression and grief, your body wouldn't have it and so you let it all out.

Feeling one pair of arms wrap around you after the other, that didn't stop your cries and your shaking body. You were ashamed to try to convince yourself to slap the arms away, wanting to scream at them for getting their unwanted pity but you couldn't deny the comfort. You knew you had to accept the death of (B/N) but it would take time.

"I'm so sorry (Y/N)"

The same phrase uttered from the wizards crowding you, hugging you and comforting you. You were grateful for their presence, somewhat happy to know you weren't alone but you didn't want them to feel sorry for you. You wanted them to help you, and just like them man was reading your mind, Gray Fullbuster pulled you from the darkness that was your own arms and pulled you into his, grabbing your tender face gently into his hand so he could wipe the tears and moisture from your face to kiss you forehead, your cheeks and then your nose.

You stared wordlessly; feeling Natsu's anger, Lucy's sadness, Erza's grief and Happy's cheerlessness. Staring into Gray's eyes, you almost gasped, feeling more tears come to your eyes to see tears in his own, losing the battle as they fell down his cheeks and it seemed as if it was a quick, unthinkable move to hide them- he kissed you.

"Don't worry (Y/N), we'll help you accept and move on. No matter if you've seen or not- I've always been by your side and I'll never leave."

The words spilled from the ice mages smooth lips, his voice sounding like the feeling of love and warmth, and you couldn't do nor say anything but kiss him again.

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Ehhhhhh 2500 words, I loved this one though-  vote and comment, Thankyou for reading xox
- Oriana__3