I wake up to the sound of noise coming from the kitchen, followed by strings of adorable curse words, like "shizballs."

I smile as I sit up from the couch and rub my eyes.

The earsplitting sound of something glass startles me out of my peace and I hear Ashton hiss.

"Ash? You okay? What happened?" I ask in a panicky tone and hear Ashton sigh and then chuckle. I stand and walk into the kitchen to see him standing there staring at the glass on the floor.

"Careful love. I broke a plate, wouldn't want you to get cut."

"I see that," I smile, noticing the food on the stove. "Thanks for making breakfast. It's burning though." I laugh as he rushes to it and moves the pans off the stove.

"I tried my best, okay?" He giggles and I smile at the wonderful sound.

My chest squeezes as I remember doing dumb shit like this with Luke and giggling with him about it, and wish desperately I was with him doing this.

Ashton seems to notice and smiles sympathetically at me.

"Miss him?" I nod and he sighs. "You should call him, you guys can work this out."

"Just because I miss him doesn't mean I want to be back with him- I mean, I do, but I- I can't, ash. It wasn't a healthy relationship  for either of us and..." I sigh and rub my eyes as tears prick them.

"Okay, I'm sorry for bringing it up, love. Please don't cry, though."

"I'm okay." I smile and he returns it.

"Why don't you go wait while I clean up in here and bring out breakfast."

I do as he said and walk into the living room, flipping down on the couch and shrieking as I hear something break and the bottom drops.

"Fuck! Ash I think I broke your couch..." I whine and he laughs.

"It's not funny! This is where I sleep!" I laugh too, though, but it doesn't last long before the pain in my chest and feeling of absolute insanity in my head comes back.

Fuck, Luke was right. I can not live without him.

I break into sobs and sit up, sobbing into my knees.

Fuck my life and let me die already, why am I like this?

"Oh babe..." ash sighs as he comes in, setting the plates down and picking me up out of the hole the couch became and sitting me in his lap as he sits on the ground.

"I know, I'm sorry, love. You're gonna be okay, you're alright. It's alright."

The day is spent in silence as I try not to sob and Ashton tries to cheer me up with tv and junk food that I am in no mood to eat.

"Alright, I think it's about time we go to sleep." He sighs. "Is it okay with you if we both sleep in my bed?"

"Uh, I can sleep on the floor, ash, it's okay."

"No, no, hun. If anyone's sleeping on the floor it'll be me."

"No, I'm fine with sharing your bed. It's big enough, it'll be f-fine."

And we do, although I stay as far away from him as possible because I just feel so guilty.

In the morning I'm awoken to the sound of crashing around in the hall and yelling and I dart up.

"I can't fucking believe you! Why would you do this to me?! You're supposed to be my best friend for fucks sake! She's all I fucking have!"

"It's not like that, Luke! And obviously you didn't do a very good job of keeping her yours!"

"Fuck you! Bullshit it's not fucking like that, I saw the broken couch!" Tears stream down his face as he screams.

I hurry into the hall and Luke's turns to me. "I didn't mean it when I said I thought you were whoring around with my friends, you had to go and prove it?!" He screams at me and I jump back.

"No, Luke, it's not-"

"You were sleeping in the same fucking bed as him!"

"It's not-"

"God fucking DAMMIT! I'm gonna kick your ass Ashton!" Luke tries to lunge towards Ashton and I step in the way and put my hands on his chest, pushing him back.

"Luke, please stop!"

He lets out a sob and runs his hands through his hair.

"No! He fucking deserves it!"

"Luke, lets go home and I'll explain it, leave him alone!" I promise.

"You'll come back?" He whimpers, and oh that innocent look he alway did at the end of a bad episode wen he needed me to tell him I love him comes back and melts me and I nod.

Luke turns on his heel and rushes down the stairs and towards the door and I turn to ash.

"I'll- I'll talk to you later, I guess." I say before rushing after Luke.

He sits in the car sobbing into his hands and I sigh as I get in and run my fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry." He sobs over and over.

"Shh, it's alright, Lu." I assure. "Should I drive?" He shakes his head and sits up, collecting himself.

His hair long and messy and his facial hair is much longer than he usually lets it get. There are beer and whiskey stains on his shirt and jeans and bags under his eyes.

Soon we're back home and he quietly goes into the house as I follow, and it's thrashed. As soon as he's inside and plopped down on the couch he begins sobbing again.

"Why would you do that to me?"

"Me and ash didn't do anything, Luke. You gotta listen." I assure. "I had no where else to go and he offered to let me stay there, I was sleeping on the couch but it broke and so Ashton offered we could both stay in his room, but we never even touched each other, love. Don't cry." I say softly, rubbing my hands through his hair comfortingly.

"I was wrong." He sobs, pulling me into his lap and holding me right. "I can't live without you. Please never leave, please..." He begs.

"I can't live without you, Luke. I'm here, it's ok." I hold him as he sobs into my hair.

"I'll be better, I won't hurt you, please tell me?" He begs. I smile and remember why I always stay again.

"I love you, Luke. I love you."