"I know mum, but it'll only be like... I don't know, a few weeks. I have no where else to go... he- I don't wanna explain right now. I'll tell you when I get there. Yes mum I swear I'll get a job and be out soon, please just- a few weeks! I'll be staying on the streets otherwise! Fine! Whatever. Just leave your daughter to rot in he streets!"

I start crying as soon as I hang up, burying my face in my hands on the park bench i sit on. I don't understand how she could abandon me like that. I k ow she never liked Luke and hated that I chose to go live with him and move out of her house, but I didn't want to put up with the way she treated me, it wasn't okay.

Look where that got me.

Luke seemed like the perfect choice to me. A cute, protective, loving, tall, cuddly, lanky, adorable, funny, talented, awkward blonde boy I met at the tiny coffee shop in my small town.

What could go wrong? How could he possibly be worse than what I was dealing with at home?

But I didn't know what being treated bad even meant at the time. My mother's words were harsh and degrading, but Luke turned out to be hell now, didn't he? I suppose hindsight is 20/20. Not that I wouldn't go back and do it all over again, I'm a stupid little girl and this is where it put me. Abused but so dependent, knocked up, and kicked out.

I couldn't turn to Calum or Ashton or Michael, they would tell Luke where I was and we'd have a repeat of last time. And they don't need to be tangled in my mess.

But really, I have no where else to go. My money for hotels is gone, I couldn't even stay at the cheapest hotel within five miles, and I need to save as much as I can for food.

What's the point, though. I don't want to live like this.

Maybe I should go back to Luke, beg him to let me stay and try to remain out of his way. Not like I have any pride left to save. I'm fucking pathetic.

I bury my head in my hands as tears escape and slide down my red cheeks. It's almost winter and I don't know what I'll do. This puny jacket isn't nearly enough to keep me from hypothermia.

Like luke would take me back. Now he can do whatever he wants without having to deal with my bitchy self complaining about it, even if I did have his best interest in mind.

I was stupid to think it was him that needed me, needed me there to tell him I love him and to take care of him. I needed him; The hope of his comfort when he was sober, the money from his career, the shelter in his warm house.

I wasn't- I'm not shit to him.

I attempt not to sob, trying to distract myself by looking at the children, bundled up in winter coats, playing at the playground, pushing each other on the swings, as their parents watch on happily, proud and content with their little ones growing and learning.

It makes me sick. We could've had that, could've been happy, but my stupid fucking body-

It was my fault. Luke's right. I don't deserve to exist.

Not that I have enough courage to do shit about it.

Wiping my eyes, I look at my phone, that's quickly losing charge. I don't have any friends to turn to anymore. Luke was my entire life. There was nothing outside of him.

The only option I can think of is my father, but who knows where he is, maybe in a homeless shelter, maybe back in jail.

The only woman's shelter near is full, the waiting list is a mile long and you have to be pregnant or have kids to have any shot at getting in within the next few months.

Begging for money is humiliating, but it's becoming my only option. Begging at Luke's feet is looking better and better, but not so realistic.  I don't know what to do.

Finally sobs escape my mouth and I pray no one comes near enough to see my mortifying failure.

My phone vibrates in my cold hand and I see that Ashton texted me.

Luke mentioned he hasn't seen you in a while, you alright? Seems pretty unlike you to just disappear, we're a bit worried.

I bite my knuckle to avoid crying any louder  and contemplate whether or not to answer. I could lie, tell him I'm fine, except he'd tell Luke that and Luke would know it was a dead ass lie.

Not that Luke gives a shit.

I put my phone back in my pocket and go back to sobbing into my pale, cold hands, nails bitten to the quick and skin dry and rough.

Another buzz and I take my phone out again.

Luke's not acting right either. Are you two okay?

No. Nothing is okay. But I don't answer with that, I'm not gonna answer at all. I need to break away from everything to do with that part of my life.

We're here for you for whatever you need until you and Luke work it out, Delilah.

No they're not. Not if they knew everything. They don't even know that the baby's gone. That's probably the only reason they're willing to help.

But I can't just be a pity party all day. I know I have to get up and do something to help myself, but it's a lot harder than tr seems.

Please answer

I sigh, running a hand through my hair.

I'm fine Ashton, don't worry about me.

It doesn't take long for him to reply,

I am, though. Are you sure you don't need any help? Where are you staying?

Doesn't matter, I'll be fine.

I don't believe you.

You should.

My phone begins ringing with Ashton's name and I sigh.

"Hey, ash." I mutter, throat sore and dry from breathing the cold air.

"Del, are you sure you're alright? Luke said you guys had a fight and you left and he doesn't know where you are."

"I'm- I'm fine ash. Worry about Luke."

"Luke is fine. He's been acting a bit off recently but other than that he's fine. You're the one who's who knows where and pregnant. Do you even have a place to stay? Or are you on the streets?"

"I'm not- well, yeah, I don't really have a place to stay, but-"

"Where are you? I'm gonna come get you."

"No, ash." I sigh, rubbing a hand over my face. "I can't- I'm not gonna impose on you like that, I'll be fine. And really, I don't wanna be that close to Luke right now."

"What happened, anyway?"

"We just- we fought, it got a little out f hand, but it's fine. My phones gonna die, so-"

"Tell me where you  are right now Delilah. I mean it."

"I'm at a park. I'm fine, ash."

"What park?"

"I'm gonna hang up now."

"No! Delilah-"

I put my phone down and wipe away the new tears under my eyes, continuing to sit on the bench and watch kids play and sulk.

"Del." I hear a pant behind me, and my heart clenches. Luke?

I stand and turn to be met with Ashton.

"God, it's freezing out here. Are you ok? Is the baby ok?"

"Um, I'm fine ash, how did you find me?"

"There aren't too many parks in this town, love. Cmon, come with me. You're gonna get sick and the baby could get hurt." He reaches for my hand and I sigh and grab my suitcase.

"If I stay with you, you can't tell Luke about it. I dont want anything to do with  him." I warn.

"Really, del? I mean, I barely remember you guys ever fighting, what happened all the sudden? And while you're pregnant?"

"I'm not fucking pregnant ashton!" I seethe, frustrated and in tears.

"What?! You mean, did you guys lose it?"

"Yeah." I cry. "My body killed it. I don't- didn't mean I tell you." I divert me eyes to the ground and wipe away my tears.

"Is- is that why you and Luke are fighting?"

"I mean, yeah, kind of. It's stressful, and- he- he really wanted a kid. I did too, and it just..."

"Cmon, cmon, lets get you in the car, it's all warmed up." He gently takes my hand and leads me to his car, taking my bag from me and putting it in the trunk as I get in the shotgun seat.

The drive is short and quiet, but I'm happy to be out of the cold.

"You promise you won't tell Luke? " I mumble to Ashton as i walk inside his house.

"I- I won't tell him, but if he asks if you're here I'm not gonna lie. Are you sure you don't wanna try and work this out?"

"I'm done trying to work it out ash. I've had enough of that."

"But, you and Luke, I mean, he loves you a lot, Delilah. And you guys have made it for so long-"

"And it's been hell, ash. Look, I really don't wanna talk about it. I want to get over Luke and move on, we're not good for each other and I'm  tired of being the only one trying to make things right."

"Ok, alright. I get you. Here, you must be hungry. I'll make you some soup or something, yeah?"

"Yeah." I sigh. "That'd be nice. Thanks, for everything.