June 3, 2015

I sigh as I glance in the mirror, seeing my tired, red eyes with bags underneath. My baby bump shows a bit, but it shouldn't. I'm still only a few months along.

I've not been doing great, constantly sick, and I miss Luke so much. He's having a hard time getting better too. He's due to come back in just a few more weeks, but I don't know if he'll be ready.

My eyes snap to my desk as my laptop notifies me that Luke's calling. I walk over, sitting down and answering it.

"Hi dell!" He beams. "How's my girl? And my little one?"

He doesn't need the weight of my trouble on top of his own, he's going through so much.

"I'm... fine-" but I'm cut off.

"Please don't lie, babe. I can see right through you." He frowns. "Are you still getting sick a lot?"

"Yeah." I sigh and look down at my stomach. "He's a big boy. I'm already showing."

Luke grins. "Why are you so convinced it's a boy? Why not a little daddy's girl?"

"Cuz, it's a boy." I smile, rubbing my tummy.

"If you say so."

"How bout you? Is it getting any easier?"

"I'm still having horrible withdrawal, but it's a bit better. Especially when I remember what I have waiting for me back home. I miss my babes."

"I miss you too, Luke. I love you."

"I love you too, baby. I'm still so sorry." He frowns.

"I know. Have you made any new friends?" I try to avoid the subject as much as possible. neither of us can face it right now.

"There's this one guy, josh, he's a sex addict. He's kinda funny. But he's annoying as hell too." His frown changed to a small grin as he shook his head.

"Has your roommate gotten any easier to deal with?"

"Actually, I meant to tell you, he overdosed yesterday. He got his hands on something, I'm not sure what, but I think one of his friends gave it to him in visitations. He was so close to going home, too."

"Oh, that sucks." I frown.

"Yeah. I'm gonna get a new roommate soon though I guess."

"Did you get what I sent you?" I ask, smiling.

"No! What was it?" He asks excitedly.

"Well I can't tell you. It wouldn't be a surprise then, would it?"

"Babe, cmon!"

"No." I grin.

"Alright, I didn't check my mail yesterday or today, I'll go check, stay here, ok?"

"Yeah. Don't open it until you come back, though."

"I won't." He says as he gets up and I hear his room door close. He comes back within minutes with envelope I sent. I chuckle as he smiles widely, tearing it open.

He pulls out the little back, gray and white photo.

"Oh my god, Delilah." He smiles widely. He's so beautiful when he smiles like that. He's always beautiful, and things are finally getting better. All thanks to our little accident.

"They can't tell the gender until it's a bit farther along. But I wanted to know if you want to find out what the gender is before it's born."

"No. Let's wait." He smiles widely. I smile and nod.

"God, I can't wait to come home, babygirl. I miss you so much. I'm supposed to be there for you when you need back rubs and cuddles." He pouts.

"I'm fine, Luke. You worry about you. You'll be home soon enough." I smile.

"I will. I have to go now, though. I love you, baby! Bye." I wipe away the tears under my eyes, thanking god that my computers camera quality isn't good enough for Luke to be able to notice.

"Love you too, Luke. Bye." I mumble, shutting my laptop. I put my head in my hands, rubbing at my eyes as I try to stop the free flowing tears, but soon a sob breaks free.

God, I hate being in his damned house alone. I feel so lonely and suffocated. There's no way to distract myself. All I can do is worry, and be sad, and miss Luke, and focus on how much I want to do stupid stuff that I can't do now that I'm gonna have a baby and I have to take care of myself in order to keep my little one healthy inside me.

Speaking of which, I need to eat, and it seems like little one wants bacon. And chocolate. And... god I'm starving...

Hey y'all, would you guys mind commenting and telling me how you think I'm doing or any ideas or constructive criticism or things I should know? Thanks babes