I love Luke. I do, really, I do. But every time I have those dreams, those flashbacks, I can barely look him in the eye. It's been a while since I've had one, but it hit me just as hard every time.

Luke is so different now. He used to be so mean, but I could tell, he felt guilty. When I cried he felt guilty, and now, every time I cry, he feels horrible. He holds me and cries with me sometimes and he treats me so good, he's the best thing in my life. But it was so bad before.

His arms loosen a bit around me and his breathing slows down, slight snores escaping his mouth. I smile slightly. I sigh and lean back onto his chest, knowing I won't be able to get to sleep again tonight. It's 4, so I decide to just cuddle Luke for at least another hour. I try as hard as I can to fall asleep, but the memories tear painfully through my mind until I can't handle it anymore. I stand up and Luke whines a bit in his sleep. I replace my body with a pillow, and he wraps his arms around it tightly.

I walk downstairs and walk around the house. Certain places still hold bad memories, but we threw away everything we could that made me or Luke upset at all.

I make tea, then sit down on the couch and sip it. By the time I'm done, it's six. I decide to start making breakfast, since Luke wakes up at 7 on Mondays so he can get to band practice by 8.

At about 6:50, arms slide around my waist and I smile contently.

"Mornin Lukey." I smile.

"Morning babygirl." He says in his ever so sexy morning voice. I laugh as his stubbly cheek rubs against my neck and his lips pepper it with kisses.

"Thank you for making breakfast." I dont know why he felt he had to say it anymore. I made breakfast for him every Monday. But it was still nice, and I wouldn't complain.

"Do you want me to stay home with you today? And talk about it?" He could tell I was upset about it, as I always was for a few hours of the day when I had a nightmare like that.

"Oh I'll be fine." I smile. He frowns. his crystal blue eyes search mine for any signs of- what, I'm not sure, but it makes me feel loved.

"Are you sure?" I smile and nod again.

"Positive." He turns me towards him and pecks my lips.

"I'll text the boys and tell them I'm not coming in today. They'll understand." He smiled. I laughed a bit and shook my head.

"Really Luke, I'll be fine."

"No, babe, I'm not gonna leave you home alone after a nightmare. And I have a feeling you don't feel like coming and socializing with people."

"True." I mumble tiredly. He pecks my lips again before pulling out his phone and sending Michael a quick text.

Michael responds, "Ok! You don't need any work on youre vocals anyway, and that all well really be doing. Have fun banging Delilah!"

"He spelled your wrong." I say as I look at his phone screen, ignoring Michaels vulgar comment.

Luke then answered "delilah told me to tell you it *your*" and put his phone down.

After we finished breakfast, at about 7:40, Luke picked me up and carried me back upstairs.

"What're you doing?" I smile.

"I know you got up at 5, and I'm tired, so let's try to go back to sleep." He mumbled, setting me in bed and crawling in next to me. I try to sleep, ur no matter how tired I am, can't fall asleep.

"Wanna talk?" Luke's voice interrupts the silence. "It always makes you feel better."

"I don't know what to say. It's ok, babe, I know you don't like talking about it."

"No, princess, I don't mind as long as it makes you feel better. Talk to me. What happened?"

"It was just, you were drunk as always and... I was... behaving... so you... You wanted to... But I didn't want- not with you so- and you got mad and- yeah." I sigh. As i talk he holds me tighter.

"I know baby, I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. I was such an idiot." He sighs. "I don't know why i- what i- I just-"

"Shhh, baby. I know. I understand. I love you." Such a simple phrase that had always meant so much to him. Had always been the final words. The final line.

"I love you."