from november 2023

ships:

Maldives x Sri Lanka

~~~

Slovenia: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

~~~

Slovenia: *lifting weights*

Bulgaria: Wow... She's so intense!

Greece: I wonder what drives her.

Slovenia, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

~~~

Somalia: This is a judgement free zone.

*Pulls out a knife the size of her forearm*

Somalia: And I mean it.

~~~

DRC: I need a long word.

Haiti: T-rex but the long one.

~~~

Bharat: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this.

India: I literally said "I have an idea," and you just went along with it without question.

~~~

Mauritania: Cronch.

Mauritania: You hear that? That's the sound of me eating sticks.

Senegal: No, don't—

Mauritania: Too late.

~~~

NATO: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.

Liberia: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.

Philippines: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.

North Korea: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.

Philippines: *flips the board*

~~~

Japan: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Japan: *aggressively throws water bottles*

Czechia: Uh... what's up with them?

Poland: They're trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

Japan: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!

South Africa, crying: It's working.

~~~

Vatican City: When was the last time you cried?

Italy: Uh 15 minutes ago, why??

Vatican City: really? That recent?

Italy: Yeah *voice crack* is that a issue? *starts crying again*

~~~

Iran: I don't hate you. I hate everyone.

Iraq: The feeling is mutual.

~~~

San Marino: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?

~~~

*Haiti and Algeria are texting*

Algeria: Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone.

Haiti: What did they change my name to?

Algeria: Chosen One.

Haiti: Don't change it back.

Algeria: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?!

Haiti: I'm the chosen one.

~~~

Sorcerer: I give you a cursed amulet!

Argentina: Cool! It'll make me look cute, and the shadow that follows me will make me more active, I'll get out more!

~~~

Vatican City: I don't even have time to tell you how wrong you are.

Guatemala: Okay?

Vatican City: ...

Vatican City: ...

Vatican City: Actually it's gonna bug me if I don't, so—

~~~

Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Germany: No.

~~~

Croatia: Do you cook?

UK: I made a cake once.

France: Yeah, it was good.

UK: Really?

France: Don't make me lie twice, Britain.

~~~

Belize, pointing at São Tomé and Príncipe: Are they a Freak (derogatory)?

Belize, pointing at Iceland: Or a Freak (affectionate)?

North Macedonia: Why not both?

Belize, to North Macedonia: You're so right, Freak (double-edged sword)!

~~~

Spain: *slowly pushes a cannon into a 17th century bank* Okay everyone, be cool. This is a robbery.

~~~

Uruguay, near tears: I have the sex appeal of a math book!

El Salvador: I don't know, dude, I've never met anyone that opened a math book and didn't say "fuck me."

~~~

Hungary, texting Poland: Any plans for tonight?

Poland: No.

Hungary: Loser.

~~~

Japan: Breathe, just breathe.

Liberia: I've done nothing with my life! I'm a failure!

Micronesia: Awww, that never bothered you before.

~~~

Burkina Faso, talking to Côte d'Ivoire: They're trying to lure me into a false sense of security! Well, joke's on them! I've never been secure in my life! And I'm not about to start now!

~~~

Belize, ordering coffee: I'd like a light roast.

Kosovo: You're kinda ugly.

~~~

Kiribati: Good morning!

Senegal: Is it? Is it really?

~~~

Slovenia: Happy Throwback Thursday! Here's a throwback to when Slovakia ate an entire tube of lipstick.

Slovakia, whining: But why would it be cherry-flavored if you can't eat it?!

~~~

Palau: St. Lucia has discovered "deez nuts" jokes and it's all they say now. Everything is deez nuts. They simply can't stop.

Palau: I asked St. Lucia where they learned that joke. They made me promise they wouldn't get in trouble if they told me. I agreed.

Palau: So they lean in and whisper, "deez nuts."

~~~

Palau: Why do humans have different blood types?

Australia: So mosquitoes can enjoy different flavors.

~~~

America: Hey, thanks for checking in, I'm ✨still a piece of garbage✨

~~~

Turkmenistan: See, the problem is, Laos, you're playing 3D chess. I'm playing 4D.

Laos: I'm playing checkers. I don't know what the fuck you're playing.

~~~

Micronesia: Good night.

Palau: Sleep tight.

Marshall Islands: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself.

Northern Marianas: Great, now Palau's crying.

~~~

Maldives: Are you good?

Greece: In what sense?

Maldives: Generally.

Greece: Oh, definitely not.

~~~

Honduras, handing a balloon to El Salvador: I have no soul. Have a good day!

El Salvador, walking off: I don't have one either.

~~~

Kuwait: I know we're not exactly friends, but-

Morocco: What do you want?

Kuwait: I've been stuck with Thailand for 2 weeks and they've been drinking all the soy sauce.

Kuwait: Help.

~~~

Brazil: Okay, if we can't do it by sheer force, we'll do it my way.

Guatemala: But your way is sheer force!

~~~

Sri Lanka: You call yourself my soulmate, but where were you when my meme only had four likes?

Maldives: Making four accounts.

Sri Lanka, tearing up: Really...?

~~~

Kazakhstan: Don't quote me on this, but I believe murder is illegal!

~~~

Ghana: Honduras, you look deep in thought. What's wrong?

Honduras: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it's like to lick it? Even if you've never touched it before?

Ghana: I'm never asking you anything ever again.

~~~

Panama: A decision had to be made.

Japan: And you fucked it up!

~~~