tw, as usual, stay safe & dms are always open

(also unedited, as usual)

The first few hours after her arrival at the ER were miserable for Harmony. After being pinched and poked from every direction, Harmony was given a cup of apple juice for her blood sugar. Xxx calories. Too many.

"I just can't," Harmony told her mother, near tears as she held the apple juice in her hand. "I'm sorry!"

"Just take another sip," Ms. Wilfeld encouraged, glancing at Harmony's monitor over her head.

"It's not my fault! I can't!"

"I know, it's not your fault. We're here to figure out what's wrong," Ms. Wilfeld replied.

But it is my fault, Harmony thought to herself. Why can't I just chug all this down?

And on this went, until Harmony had managed to choke half the juice down with a silent promise to starve herself even more the next day.

"I'll drink more juice when I get home, I promise," Harmony whimpered.

"Harmony, please--"

"I can't!"

X X X

Harmony hadn't thought they were serious when the nurses talked about admitting her. She checked her watch (which was thankfully on the arm without a hundred needles stuck in it). 9:54 p.m. Her parents had left at least half an hour ago to get her things from home. So where were they?

Gosh, this couldn't be real, could it? Harmony? In a hospital? About to be admitted overnight? Where were her parents??

Harmony reached over with her one free hand, stretching her fingers in an effort to reach her phone, which was on the table beside her. Just a little bit farther, just a bit...yes! Harmony wrapped her fingers around the edge of the phone and drew it in until she could pick it up. It was now 9:56 p.m. So much for "be back soon!"

Honestly, how could her parents have left her, alone, in this bleak place? Even the nurses had forgotten about her--one had left, saying someone would check in with Harmony every fifteen or so minutes. It'd definitely been much longer than that.

"Sorry, the Google subscriber you have called is--"

Beep. Harmony turned off her phone. Now her parents weren't picking up either! Absolute worst day of her life. Well, of course, the ER visit probably contributed to that too, but still. She'd finished the last book she had, hadn't talked to anyone in nearly an hour now, and she couldn't even reach her parents. Ugh!

Letting out a loud sigh, Harmony dropped her phone onto the table once more and flopped back against her pillows, staring up at the ceiling for a second before sitting back up and adjusting the thin hospital blankets she'd been given. She did love being cold, but geez, this was cold cold. She was covered with multiple blankets, a jacket, and wearing socks and long pants, but she was still freezing.

Bored, Harmony flipped back to the start of her book for the third time. Instead of focusing on the words on the page, she let her mind wander.

It was first grade. Harmony was making a nighttime schedule with her parents.

"You get home at four and your bedtime is at nine," Harmony's dad told her. "Let's list out what you have to do between then."

"Uh, shower?" Harmony tried. Her father wrote it down.

"Okay, what else?"

"Um...eat dinner and do my homework?"

"Okay, so shower, eat dinner, and do homework. Don't forget brushing your teeth and exercising for thirty minutes," her father agreed, and Harmony nodded.

It was third grade. Harmony was studying the back of a bagel package in the crowded cafeteria. Not sure quite what she was looking for, Harmony scanned the numbers and percentages on the nutrition chart, adding up the calories and fat percentage to those of her breakfast.

"Does anyone want candy?" one of her friends asked. There was a ripple of yesses heard around the table, but one the bag came to Harmony, she shook her head.

"I'm good."

"Okay!" Her friend skipped to the next person and held the bag of gummies out. When she'd completed her round, she sat down in her spot across from Harmony, then looked her up and down. "What do you eat that makes you so chubby?" the friend asked, giggling. Harmony gave a thin smile as the rest of her friends laughed as well.

It was fifth grade. Harmony was on the floor of her living room, scrolling through her tablet.

Harmony skimmed over YouTube videos from models, searching for an exercise. She glanced at her watch. Twenty minutes left. Harmony opened one of the videos her dad had suggested and set herself on the floor while Jake from State Farm told her about the benefits of insurance. Finally, FLAT ABS IN TEN MINUTES started playing.

It was seventh grade. Harmony sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast while her mom changed the channels on the TV.

"What're you eating?" Harmony's dad asked as he walked into the kitchen, sniffing at the air.

"Pancakes. Mom made them," Harmony told him.

"Do you want some?" Ms. Wilfeld asked her husband, but Mr. Wilfeld shook his head.

"I'm fasting," he told them. "I haven't eaten since yesterday evening."

"When are you going to eat, then?" Harmony's mom wanted to know.

"I'll eat after noon; it's just twelve hours," Mr. Wilfeld explained.

"Oh! Maybe I'll join you, then. I went to bed at ten and haven't eaten anything then," Ms. Wilfeld said. "That's great. And let's go biking today too, okay, Harmony?"

"Alright."

It was a few months before the stomachaches. Harmony stood at the kitchen counter, reading the top of the yogurt container.

"Eating lunch?" Ms. Wilfeld asked as she entered the kitchen, heading towards the fridge.

"Yup." Harmony pulled out her phone, subtly adding the yogurt to her calorie log. Her mother pulled a premade meal out of the fridge, then turned and saw Harmony's yogurt.

"Is that all you're eating? What, are you trying to lose weight?" Ms. Wilfeld laughed, and Harmony laughed with her.

"I'm just not hungry," she replied, opening the cutlery drawer to overdramatically look for a spoon. "I'll have a snack later."

"Okay, have fun." Ms. Wilfeld poured the contents of her TupperWare onto a plate, then turned and left for her office.

"Harmony, your dad's here," a nurse called out as she opened the semi-transparent door. The nurse entered the room followed by Harmony's father, who was followed by a large suitcase.

"Dad! Why are you so late?" Harmony whined, the leftover emotions from her memories escaping with her complaints. "You were supposed to only take half an hour! It's been over an hour. Where were you?"

"Sorry, there was traffic." Mr. Wilfeld gave a weak smile. "But I'm here now!"

"It's eleven," Harmony continued. "I'm tired and you're super late."

"Harmony," the nurse interrupted, "we're going to take you up to your room now, okay?"

Harmony simply pouted in response. The nurse seemed to take this as a cue that Harmony wasn't going to fight back and began unlocking the wheels under her bed. Harmony came up with thousands of insults in her mind as the nurse gathered up all the strings hanging off Harmony's bed, but there was nothing she could do as she was wheeled towards the door, IV pole in toe.