AUTHOR'S POV  

The sun is shining and the greenery among the grounds along with the blue sky and white clouds under the sun are offensively bright and cheerful. It's as if these elements have conspired to show the Bourgeois family how the world will go on without Kaylee. It shouldn't and everything should be as dark as their emotions. It should be cold and damp with silent air...but the birds are still chirping and the flowers are still in full bloom. This is the day where their sweet Kaylee is being laid to rest and over the past few days there's been an unrelenting sick feeling in their stomachs as they've simultaneously hoped that the day wouldn't come so quickly as they aren't ready to say goodbye. They have imagined what the service will be like and it shatters another piece of them with each thought. Those among the attendees who may struggle to hold back their grief. Others who won't hold back at all as their tears flow silently yet steadily down their immobile faces. The Bourgeois family sitting on the front pew and experiencing those same emotions...the insides of them numb as they listen to words from the minister as well as tributes from those who loved Kaylee. Those words being so well spoken and so filled with love that they bring a fresh onslaught of tears. The service followed by the burial and walking behind the small casket with tear stained eyes as they gaze at the roses on top...their minds knowing that it will really be the end though their souls being unwilling to acknowledge the finality of death...never to look upon her face again to see her smile, feel her embrace, see the warmth in her eyes and no longer being surrounded by her love in the physical sense. Explaining to Emma that they're saying goodbye to her today was just as hard as explaining her transitioning into an angel. Though she ultimately understood the concept her expression read a deep sadness that hurt her papas to see. The driver that will take them to the church will arrive soon and since awakening there's been mostly silence and movement has been solemn, as expected. Since Larry's emotional breakdown he hasn't had another though it's hard not to and now he's worried about his love. Laurent always tries to be the strong one even though he's for sure in as much turmoil as they all are over losing Kaylee. When he and Larry were in bed last night Larry sweetly reminded him that it isn't necessary to keep his emotions all bottled in because of his need to be the rock for the family even though he loves him even more for it. He knows his love well so he knows that at some point Laurent will have a major breakdown. Possibly at the service or sometime thereafter. Of course Larry will be there for him whenever it takes place. Clad in all black suits they're currently sitting at the kitchen table. Laurent's focus is down and Larry's focus is on none other than his love. Eventually his eyes lower as well when this extremely hard to grasp realization comes back again. He didn't even realize tears had fallen until he sees drops on the table beneath him. Mama is in Emma's room getting her ready. She's talked to Emma about today to make sure she understands. They've always said that mama has a way of explaining things and when they were walking down the hallway after getting dressed they stopped just outside of Emma's room to listen. Mama explained that the service today will include everyone who loved Kaylee coming together to remember what an amazing girl she was. She also explained that everyone will be sad because she's not with us anymore but that everyone does find comfort in the fact that she's a beautiful angel in heaven now who will continue to be with us in spirit everyday. When mama softly asked her if she understands Larry and Laurent who were already emotional simply listening to the heartfelt exchange smiled through their tears when she replied, "yes grandmere" in her sweet voice. Emma has been their big, strong girl from the moment Kaylee went missing and while she seemingly understands everything it crushes them that she won't see her sister anymore. When they've seen her playing with certain toys or games that she shared with Kaylee...the smiles on their girls faces and the sweet laughter that belted from them they hurt even more. They are beside themselves as it pertains to the investigation because they want nothing more for this maniac to be caught. They last spoke with detective Brunet a couple of days ago who stated that they're still waiting for lab results from the evidence collected at the scene but assured them that he will keep them updated as new details in the case emerge. He also told them the autopsy is complete...but understandably they declined hearing the results as it would only lead them to think about their little girl's horrifying final moments because of this sick and demented non human. They can hardly contain their angst for the perpetrator to be found as they have to say goodbye to their baby girl whose life was senselessly taken. They try to push it to the back of their minds as they just want this day to be remembering life with her...but it's also conflicting because if it wasn't for this monster they wouldn't have to bury the daughter that has been and will always be a very big part of them. Their first born. Their first baby girl who they vividly remember bringing home then placing her in the bassinet and just watching her sleep. It was a love that they had never felt before. It was beautifully overwhelming and from that day to the next their love for her grew more as she brought them measureless joy. Through all of the memories flowing through Larry's mind he manages to raise his head and check the time. They still have some time before the driver arrives so he asks his love if he would like something to drink. He sweetly declines so Larry stands up and proceeds to get something for himself when they hear mama walk in. Larry turns around while Laurent looks up and right away they notice something in her hand. It's a small envelope so they look up at her in slight confusion. Larry then asks in a soft and curious voice, "what is that mama"? Mama who's visibly emotional but is also fighting hard to keep herself from crying looks down for a moment and when she looks back up she replies in a solemn voice, "it's a letter to Kaylee from Emma". The silence is instant as Larry and Laurent gulp in sync before their eyes lower to the envelope. They gaze at their little Emma's handwriting who wrote her sister's name in big, bold letters in the center. Their emotions now match that of mama's who's still struggling to hold back tears...but it proved to be far too difficult and in a shaky voice...

Mama: "After I finished her hair she gave it to me and I put it in the envelope". *sniff* "She said we can't read it because it's just for Kaylee".    

Larry and Laurent look at the letter again then mama hands it over. Laurent gently takes the envelope from her and with his love next to him they look down at it. Before the service they all will have a few moments with Kaylee by themselves. It will be hard to look at her in that casket knowing it will be the last time they see her...but they need this time alone with her to say what they need to and to tell her that they love her once more. Laurent then opens his jacket to slide Emma's letter to her loving sister inside his pocket. Now they're hearing the door bell ring so in a solemn pace he walks over to answer. It's the driver and he feels his stomach drop for the time has finally come. He tells him that they will be right out so he nods then heads back to the car to wait. After Laurent shuts the door he turns around to face Larry and mama...

Laurent: "It's um...." *gulp* "It's time to go".

Mama: "I'll get Emma". 

Larry: "I'll get Ayden", he replies softly. 

When Larry and mama leave to get the kids Laurent turns back towards the front door and just crashes his forehead against it. He's only a moment away from bursting into tears but he hears his family coming back down the hallway so he quickly straightens up. Larry noticed this on his way back and Laurent feeling he has to pull his emotions back in is what he doesn't want. Laurent is the strongest person Larry has ever known and one of the million reasons he loves him so much...but he wants him to know that it's ok to not be ok especially at a time like this. When they're closer Laurent catches Larry's tender look at him and he doesn't have to say a word as Laurent knows exactly what it means because of their connection so he just nods as if to say he's letting loose and whatever emotions he feels he will let them out. He then looks down at Emma who looks so precious in her dress. It's one of her favorites and it has different shades of blue with a touch of platinum which is complete with a navy blue cardigan...

Her grandmere pulled her gorgeous curls up and into a center bun secured with a blue ribbon. She looks like the adorable little girl they love so much though they do see the sadness in her face. Ayden is sleeping peacefully in Larry's arms and is clad in a blue infant suit complete with vest and tie...

Emma is holding her grandmere's hand and she's looking up at her papas with those dreary but beautiful eyes so Laurent bends down to talk to her...

Laurent: "We heard you wrote your sister a letter princess".

Emma: *nods* "Yes papa. Did you read it"?

Laurent: "No, bebe we didn't read it because we know it's just for your sister and we know that whatever you wrote is beautiful because of how much you love her". *pause* "Your papas will make sure to leave it with her, oki"?

Emma: "Oki. Thank you papa", she replies softly. 

Laurent: "Welcome my love", he whispers.  

Laurent slowly stands back up and he looks at mama then lastly, his love. Now that they're gathered together it's time to leave their home and minutes later they're en route to the church...

*****

The historical edifice before them is beautiful. Tall, old stone and stained glass. The attendees will begin arriving within the hour giving them their time with Kaylee with Larry and Laurent going first. Now they're in the church foyer and once Larry gives Ayden to mama he looks over at Laurent. Naturally there's a bit of hesitancy to walk inside the sanctuary as the first image they will see is their little girl in her casket. It's still so surreal to them though they're sure she looks like the beautiful princess she is. Larry and Laurent connect hands and when they walk inside their eyes go straight to the casket prompting tears to quickly build and fall. The church is so quiet that as they walk down the long aisle they can hear their own footsteps. They take a moment to admire how beautiful it is all around. Pictures of her with that bright, beautiful smile have been enlarged and are on both sides of the casket. Beautiful bouquets of flowers complement these sweet pictures perfectly and they're grateful that the funeral home honored their requests because it really is beautiful. Just as mama said, this will be a service fit for the princess she is. Now that they're standing next to the casket they look down at their sweet girl and it's as if she's merely sleeping. She looks absolutely beautiful just as they envisioned. She's adorned in her favorite white dress that she always twirled in every time she wore it. Her floral crown consists of pink and white flowers that adorn her curls resting softly on her shoulders...

For several moments it's just the sound of their sniffs as they gaze at her. It was explained to Emma that Kaylee is an angel now and though their hearts wish she wasn't in this casket she very much looks like one. Their tears fall one after the other and it takes some time before they're able to say anything...but Larry eventually begins...

Larry: "You look so beautiful baby". *sniff* "We miss you so much and we're so sorry your life was taken from you. We would give anything to go back in time because we want you here lighting up the world with your smile. We miss that so much". *sniff* "We miss your hugs. We miss your laugh. We miss everything about you baby and you will always be a very special part of us. We love you so much baby girl". *pause* "Fly high with the angels".

Larry breathed out the latter part and after simply gazing at her for a few more moments he leans down to give her a soft kiss on her forehead. When he raises up he looks at her again and it's all just too much and he can't take it anymore. He bursts into tears then turns around and walks in a somewhat hurried speed over to the pew. Once he sits down his elbows go to his thighs and he drops his face in his hands to weep. Laurent turns his head to look at his broken love with his own tears streaming then turns to look at Kaylee as he also has some sweet words to share with her...

Laurent: "You do look beautiful my love". *sniff* "You're always beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful. Your smile. Your heart. The love you have for all of us that you showed us every day. We will miss watching you play with your brother and sister. We will miss Ayden crawling to you when you held out your arms so you can pick him up. We'll make sure that he knows everything about you and how amazing you are". *sniff* "We will miss your passion for books and your passion for the violin. You always amazed me with how good you are. I wish I could hear that sound just one more time...but now you can play for the other angels my love. I know they will love it as much as we always have". 

At that moment he reaches in his suit pocket to pull out the letter Emma wrote then softly tells her, "your sister wrote you a letter so I'll just leave it here for you". He slides the letter into the casket then leans down to give her a gentle kiss on the forehead. He looks at her again and whispers, "we love you so much". Seconds later he raises up and begins to slowly step back while keeping his focus on her but ultimately turns around and walks over to his love then gently places his hand on Larry's shoulder prompting him to look up. He softly tells him that he will get mama and the kids now. Larry breathes out an, "oki" so Laurent begins making the walk to the church foyer. Mama is sitting on a bench with a still sleeping Ayden in her arms and Emma right beside her. Mama stands up when she sees him then her heart drops when she also sees his red eyes and tear stained face. Laurent picks Emma up and there's a few moments of silence merely looking at her before he speaks... 

Laurent: "My love, we're going inside to see your sister now and if there's anything you want to say to her before we say goodbye you can, oki"?

Emma: "Oki papa", she replies softly.  

Laurent gives her a kiss on the cheek then leads the way inside. Their walk to the alter is just as solemn and quiet as he and Larry's. They stop in front of the casket and when Emma sees her...

Emma: "She looks like sleeping beauty papa". 

Laurent: "Yes she does, princess". *pause* "Is there anything you want to say to your sister"?

Emma nods gently and there's a brief moment of silence as she gazes lovingly at her sister before her precious voice is heard saying, "I love you Kaylee". Laurent's tears are instant and he gulps hard before whispering to Emma, "she loves you too bebe". He holds her closer then turns around to go over and sit next to Larry while mama steps closer. She looks down at her beautiful granddaughter and for a moment words are completely stripped as it's so hard to grasp that they've lost her...but she's eventually able to speak...

Mama: "My bright and beautiful sunshine". *pause* "You truly made me happy when the skies were grey". *sniff* "We miss you so much and we promise to do whatever it takes to see that justice is served". *pause* "We love you so much gorgeous girl". 

Mama takes more time to gaze lovingly at her then turns around to go and join her family. They all sit in silence on that pew as they continue to weep. Emma is snug next to her grandmere and while she isn't crying her face reads sadness all over. Mama notices and comforts her all the more. They watch the funeral director come and close the casket which was requested by the family as it will be difficult to see her there during the service as it's already painful enough knowing she's inside. The time comes for the attendees to arrive and as they all file into the church they look at the setup as well as the enlarged pictures of Kaylee and her smile makes them smile. One by one they go to each of them to express their condolences. They also show Emma so much love which they're thankful for. The support is overwhelmingly beautiful and so needed. Then the service begins when the minister steps into the pulpit...

~please play the audio~

https://youtu.be/VxNllYdEleQ

Minister:  "We meet here today to honor the life of Kaylee. We give thanks for her life and ask God to bless her now that her time in this world has come to an end. For Kaylee, the journey is now beginning though for us there is loss, grief and pain. Every one of us here has been affected by Kaylee as her life mattered to us all. It is important for us to acknowledge and accept that the world has changed with her passing. Life will not be the same nor should it be. Together, let us commemorate the impact Kaylee had on all of us". 

The minister wears empathy like an overcoat and his face is a perfect picture of controlled sadness. They imagine he isn't a cold person and that being a minister means he has to find a way not to be drained by constant grief as he presides over funerals more than he would care to as death is always hard to deal with. Death may be a natural part of life...but stepping into the world of the bereaved regularly would wipe anyone out emotionally. He's sure to have seen more bodies returned to the earth than most people see sunsets. Sadly, today is no different and with someone so young and as vibrant as Kaylee who still had so much to live for surely can't be an easy task. His words are eloquently spoken and attendees are invited to share kind words and memories of Kaylee. As one can imagine her family is too distraught to speak which is all the more reason they're so grateful they each had one on one time with her because the eulogy is final confirmation that she's really gone. Kaylee's violin instructor tells everyone about her being a great and focused student who was so gifted that she made the violin look effortless. Of course those words don't surprise Larry and Laurent as they knew just by looking down at her sweet face when she was born that she would be talented along with the many other gifts she possessed. After such beautiful and heartfelt words it's now time for the minister to bring the service to an end followed by the burial...

Minister: "We have been remembering with love and gratitude a life that touched us all. I encourage you to help, support and love those who grieve the most. Allow them to cry. Allow them to hurt as grief works through us in its own time". *pause* "We often take life for granted and yet it is the greatest gift given to us. Remember to bless each day and to live it to the fullest in honor of life itself...and of Kaylee". *pause* "And now, we shall prepare for committal. All, excluding the immediate family, please stand". 

As the attendees stand the pallbearers come forward to place the casket at the start of the aisle in preparation to be taken out of the church. The funeral home director comes over to offer condolences to the family then they're all politely instructed to stand so they can walk behind their precious Kaylee. Ayden woke up halfway through the service and it's as if he knew something serious was going on as he didn't coo or anything. Soon after waking up he looked at Larry then raised his hand to touch his face. That touch from their baby boy was soothing...but also saddening as Larry knew that Ayden recognized his sadness. Now they're walking behind and the pallbearers hands are secured on the casket as they walk in sync towards the exit. Ayden is in Larry's arms and Emma is in Laurent's...tears streaming from both. Some old. Some fresh. Mama is walking behind and lightly dabbing her eyes with a Kleenex. They step outside and the pallbearers are extra careful in taking the casket down the steps then placing it in the back of the hearse. The driver who came to pick up the Bourgeois family is also in waiting and after several other attendees offer their condolences they all get in and wait for the driver to take off behind the hearse. Ayden is against Larry's chest and just like his sister does every time she's in one of her papas arms he rests his cheek on Larry's shoulder as he gently rubs Ayden's back while also crying silently. Emma is resting her cheek on Laurent's shoulder and when she hears the sound of his sniffs she softly tells him, "it will be oki papa". Laurent is too emotional to reply verbally so he just holds on tighter to let her know that he heard her and appreciates her sweet words. Mama is sitting across from them who has witnessed it all and now the emotions between them are becoming stronger because they're only minutes away from the cemetery which means they're only minutes from their final goodbyes...

*****

The small casket has been carried over and placed on the plot. As they sit across their eyes are gazing at it while being internally torn as it won't be too much longer before it's lowered into the ground. The minister then walks over and stands in place to begin...

Minister: "Kaylee is now safe, and she is on her way to heaven to enjoy all that awaits. Let us say this final farewell as we commit Kaylee's physical form to its natural end". *pause* "Kaylee, we bless you and thank you for being such a big part of our lives. We honor your life on Earth and we pray for your peace ever after. We will never forget you. Go well into the kingdom of heaven".

The minister then walks over to the family and is the last to express his condolences. He also leans down at Emma's level who looks up at him with those sweet, innocent eyes as he speaks to her. He then tells them that he will continue to pray for their comfort and now they're free to stand up and walk over to bid their final farewell to their beautiful daughter. Larry delicately hands Ayden over to mama then he and his love stand up to walk over. The moment Larry places his hand on her casket he drops his head and bursts into tears. His breathing is labored so there's a struggle to get any words out though he's eventually able to. The pain is heard in his voice as he says, "goodbye my love". Laurent places his hand on the casket and he unexpectedly drops his body on top of it essentially hugging it as he just doesn't want to let her go. He's crying hysterically and the sight is so painful to see that the crying from those all around is intensified. His breathing is struggling so much that his love has to take a gentle hold of him to raise him up and help him calm down in fear that the grief would cause his body to react in a terrifying way. It takes several moments and when he's finally able to regain control he tells his love that he's ok. Now thinking of the song that Kaylee was working on some of the lyrics that are so fitting to their first born come to him... 

"I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more". 

He then places one hand on the casket as he whispers, "a thousand years". Moments later he pulls away and now they all have to walk away so she can be laid to rest. Mama is holding Ayden while her other hand is holding Emma's and as they walk away they all look back once more. The limo isn't far away and once they're inside Larry gives the driver clearance to take off. Now they feel the car carefully driving over the bumpy ground and they're all left with the difficult reality of living without her...though she will always live in their hearts...

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A/N: I know that was hard so if you're able to share your thoughts please do and I'll reply soon. Love you guys. ❤️