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jaemin yawned loudly with a slight ruffle of his hair before pushing on into the quaint yet popular bakery he worked in. his loose jeans and massive cardigan hung on his frame a bit suggestively, but he'd never been the type to care much about fashion. when he was a young teenager with all sorts of worries and insecurities wracking his brain, he sort of malfunctioned and couldn't decide whether he wanted to be the pretty boy more dominant men would pursue, or a slightly more sexy and appealing masculine one that did the chasing. in the end he ended up like this; a strange mixture of both.

the chiming of the bell sang throughout the little, aesthetic structure and notified the workers of his arrival. well, 'workers' was just a code name for his family. his relatives all owned this place, and he was the child expected to continue its legacy for he was the bearer of 'the gift'. special hands capable of brilliant baking and cooking.

"hey bro, what took you so long?! jinmi left like, an hour ago and i've had to take care of the counter alone," his younger and more bold sister complained. in order of age, it went maeyoung, who was in college as well and wasn't particularly fond of working here full time. then jaemin, the only boy, followed by jinmi who was a free spirit and lastly ahna, the youngest and most mouthy sibling.

"sorry, i was staying with a friend."

"oooo, was it jeno? i bet it was~" she teased playfully and started making kissing sounds while drawing air hearts. "like damn, you two need to get together already. you're so old."

"old? woman, i'm literally in my first year of college! you're just a baby."

"huh?! i'm a junior! old enough!"

what a brat, the ravenette thought with an inward scoff before tossing his bag down off his back and onto the floor behind the counter. "i'm gonna get changed. can you, oh wise and ancient one, look after the counter for another fifteen minutes?"

"ugh, yeah," she sighed. "don't take too long, i'm bored as hell."

"yeah, yeah." he trailed over to the staircase hidden behind a jutted-out section of the wall and proceeded to ascend towards their home which was on the second and third floor of the building. their little community was warm and cosy, if described as anything. their lives revolved around this place, and what brought the three sisters and their only brother even closer was the fact that they all liked boys — it was like a whole knew way to bond.

"nana, you're home~" his mother sang and rushed out from her kitchen to see him. her arms were open, and so he gladly accepted the hug and nuzzled into her neck. "did you have a good night? sorry to pull you away from your weekend."

"nah, it's okay. i was just chilling out." doing things i could never confess to you, he added only within the depths of his own mind. this whole situation was pretty daft and dire, for his family believed more than anything that he'd be with friend jeno — that they loved each other and were just too shy to say it. he hadn't the heart to bring up that there was an entirely different guy in his head.

"anyway, clean up for me. your sister needs a break."

"yeah, yeah. see you soon," he mumbled before detaching himself from her embrace and trailing off past the general common rooms like the living area, kitchen, game room, office and instead taking to the twisting staircase that led him to his precious attic. the others all slept on the second floor, spread out between four bedrooms while the only boy (aside from his father) got the largest room of them all upstairs.

he shuffled across the dark floorboards towards his bed. the window was slanted against the roof, and shone its rays of sun over his duvet to heat it up nicely. for someone who liked to have material possessions, he didn't actually keep much furniture. his wardrobe, desk for study, bed and nightstand didn't take up a lot of the massive space, but he did enjoy collecting little things like lava lamps, wind chimes and other gaudy decor.

"tired," he whispered wearily and rubbed his eyes. jaemin's entire figure felt tense and a bit unrested, but there wasn't much to do about that other than sleep — which wasn't an option. most people recharged and stocked up on energy at the weekend...but he was too busy fucking the guy he liked who didn't feel the same, and wasting that time.

as he shifted forwards to start gathering some clothes to change into, a strong arm wrapped around his waist and another hand slid over his mouth. instant panic infiltrated his every thought and move, causing him to whine into the palm and thrash against the grip. the scent of the man was way too familiar, but his mind still screamed 'am i about to get raped?'

a deep chuckle resonated in his ear, and the figure pushed him up against a wall to teasingly terrify him. "stay quiet and no one gets hurt." he pulled his hand away from jaemin's mouth nonetheless and received a very irritated hiss.

"bitch, i thought i was about to die! you can't pull that shit on me!" though he twisted in the other's now light hold and faced him whilst leaning against the wall. they were only inches apart...but they preferred the close company of one another. they were inseparable. "what are you even doing here, jen? i have work."

"i got another text from a weirdo saying they wanted to come over and see me, so i decided to evacuate the premises and come to you."

lee jeno was everyone's typical idea of both a god, and someone you hated for being so perfect. he had charisma leaking from his fingertips, and enough kindness to sink a pirate ship. everything he did, he did for someone else. now, his one downfall was definitely his cowardice when it came to rejecting others. girls were crawling up his arms for attention and (quite illegally) sending inappropriate texts about what they wanted him to do to them, or that they'd be dropping by. college hadn't been an incredible or amazing experience for the poor adult, he'd admit.

on top of it all, he didn't have the heart to tell the world he was gay as of yet, for all jaemin insisted it was the best idea. boys were pretty interested in the gorgeous student as well, and he seemed to avoid them like the plague. the younger could never understand why...

but jeno knew. he knew why he acted the way he always did.

"what? so you're just gonna crash here and avoid your problems? very brave," the ravenette rolled his eyes before sliding his hand up to rest on the other's chest and feel his heartbeat. "i wish you'd just put them all in their place."

"they don't listen."

"make them listen."

"oh yeah, like you've made it very clear to renjun that you're in love with him. mhm, terrific advice."

damn it, the younger cringed. he hated when his best friend pulled that card on him, because it was the biggest weakness and secret he possessed, and only jeno knew about it. his prolonged sigh and disheartened motion of leaning his forehead against the boy's chest awakened the older to his despair.

"nana, you okay?"

"ugh, no. i just...i just want to sleep. i feel like shit."

the navy-haired college student sucked in a breath and carefully pulled the male into his arms to guide him to the bed. once laying him down upon it — albeit with a lot of weak protests — he sat down beside him on the edge of the mattress and placed his hand over jaemin's forehead.

"you're not sick, are you?"

"hope not. i don't want to miss school this week."

"so resilient," jeno cooed, and pulled the ravenette over to lay on his front. then, without the guilt he'd felt as a teenager, he slowly started to pull the loose cardigan down his shoulders and off his arms. nana shivered against the exposure to air, but the sun beaming down on his back was really nice.

"don't...i might fall asleep..." the younger whispered airily, but jeno didn't listen. he used those big and warm hands of his to slowly press and knead out the pains and knots in the other's back. it was really the least he could do amidst everything jaemin always did for him. simple massaging or bathing here and there seemed too easy...

and there was an element of 'i'm being selfish' in the older's mind when he himself loved his best friend. was it wrong to be allowed to see every part of him and secretly adore it all, yet never inform the person them-self?

"mhm...that part hurts," jaemin hummed and started to drift off against the pillow he rested against. jeno continued to do his best to relax his tense body, pressing his fingers into the tight muscles and almost feeling the accomplishment when they didn't resist as much to him anymore. he could tell when he'd fixed a pressure point.

"i'll take your shift, nana. try to catch up on some sleep, okay?"

"....that's not....fair...."

but it was all too apparent when the taller leaned over to check his face over the pillow that he'd fallen asleep at long last. good, he nodded to himself, standing up and pulling a fluffy blanket off the back of the desk chair and flopping it over the younger. "sleep well."

a knock to the door almost started him, but jeno turned to view the culprit with a small smile and found it to be mrs. na. "oh, hi."

"aaaw, jen~" she waved him over once noticing her unconscious son. "come here."

they vacated the attic together and wandered on down the spiral staircase to the second floor. "you're so cute, y'know that?" the woman continued while playfully patting his shoulder. "i wish you'd just tell him how you feel. you'd be a brilliant boyfriend for him; the silly kid can't take care of himself."

"i don't want to wreck our already existing relationship." he always said that. it was like listening to a broken record half the time. they had been best friends since they were about eleven, and jeno had developed his crush on him when he'd been twelve. it wasn't very ideal, but he thought he'd get there eventually when jaemin admitted that he too liked men.

it was all destroyed when renjun came along last year though. an unforeseen disaster.

"whatever you say, big guy. all i'll mention is that he won't be single forever, and you'd be wasting your chance."

i already have, jeno grimaced. "mhm. i'm gonna stand in for nana, okay?"

"of course!" she winked, running off to probably bake some more and leaving the male to himself. his happy expression faded progressively into a downcast one...and that was how it stayed. it was exhausting being so sunny for everyone.

sometimes he just wanted someone to let him cry. it'd have been easier.

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