"Please tell me you're joking."
An exasperated groan could be heard from the other end of the old-fashioned, yet highly valuable rotary telephone, a delicate Vintage flower pattern titivating the smooth marmor surface.

"Does it look like I am? I couldn't help it, little kid just won't fucking leave me alone!," an enraged redhead whisper-shouted fiercely, his red lips close to the mouthpiece and his slim fingers tightly clutching the body of the telephone handset, to a point where his knuckles started turning white.

"Well, then compel him!," the person on the other end whisper-shouted back, Taehyung laughing sarcastically and crossing his legs at that.

"Gosh, you're such a genius, Mina. Why haven't I thought of that? A vampire existing since 1752? Don't you think I tried that already?! It didn't work!"
He ruffled his own hair frustratedly, his lips forming into an angry pout.

"God, I don't know what to fucking do. Is this my new enemy? A freaking toddler? I'd rather have a million witch covens or werewolf packs after me, you know? I can't just kill a fucking toddler like that, can I now?," he spat, all the words coming out of his mouth forming a little angry ramble.

"Hold on a second, did you just say he can't be compelled? That doesn't make any sense. Do you think he drank vervain?," his phoning partner, a beautiful blonde woman named Myoui Mina, thought out loud, Taehyung shaking his head with a little scoff.

"I checked all of this town's records. No one knows anything about vampires. No hunters, no daggers or stakes, no vervain stashes and most importantly, no animal attacks or murder cases, like, ever. It's so peaceful here, it's actually boring. I mean, the kid did ask me if I was a vampire but he clearly didn't know what he was talking about and probably just read that in some fantasy book, I--" He got interrupted almost immediately.

"He asked you if-- You left a body in some random alleyway again and he found you there, am I right? How could you be so careless, Taehyung?! This is why I always told you to drink from blood bags, how often are you gonna repeat the same mistakes over and over? Ugh, just get that kid out of there by tomorrow. Since no one would believe him if he tries to tell. The faster you get rid of him, the better..."
Rolling his eyes at his friend's long lecture, the redhead grabbed a rose-coloured nail file and started filing his nails while humming softly.

"...How can you even enjoy drinking straight from other people's veins? It sounds so disgusting, honestly! And the amount of jewellery you just stole from your targets? Don't even get me started. God, you've been alive for centuries yet you're still a mess. Not to mention the fact that you literally killed people by accident. Can't you be careful? Now i bet you do it without batting a single eyelash. Remember those vampire hunters in Toulouse? The memories still give me goosebumps..."

"Are you even listening to me?"
"Totally. It's not my fault the vampire hunters in Toulouse were such dumbos. They deserved everything they got. But back to topic, can't you help me get rid of him or his memories? Do some witchy-woo stuff? Kid's too nosy for his own good, he keeps sniffing around..." He purposefully did not mention the necklace. It's not like anything had happened, anyways.

"I'd have to completely fry his brain for that, he could die. I am not turning into a child murderer. No, you need to get rid of him by yourself. And make sure he never finds the Cinnabar necklace, you know how dangerous it is."
Taehyung laughed nervously.
"Yeah, of course. I'll find a way and-- oh, speak of the fucking devil. Talk to you later, Mina."

"Kim Taehyung, I am not done with you--"
The redhead had already hung up the phone with a smug smile, rolling his eyes as he heard little feet stomp all the way to the living room.

As if on cue, Jungkook came running into the huge living room, his tiny hands clutching another piece of jewellery. This time, a necklace with a watery blue gemstone in a round shape, emitting a pale glow, golden swirls wrapping around it in a graceful manner and giving the impression of the fragile gemstone being guarded by said golden swirls, like a treasure. It looked like something a mermaid princess would wear. If only mermaids were real.

"Mister, what is this?"
Taehyung let out a gasp, grabbing the necklace and glaring at the toddler.
"How many times do I have to tell you to stop snooping around? You went into my bedroom for this again, didn't you? My Aquamarine necklace! Do you even know how precious this is to me?!"

"It's so pretty, Mister. And your bedroom is pretty too, like a queen's bedroom!" The redhead smiled a forced smile, taking back the necklace and wiping it with the sleeve of his silk robe in case the toddler left any fingerprints on the gemstone. Or he tried to eat it. Didn't toddlers supposedly try to eat everything? He really did not want to think of that.

"Of course my bedroom's pretty, silly. It belongs to me, took me like a week to renovate it. The previous owners of this house had horrible taste, like ew. Brown curtains and wooden furniture everywhere, I beg you. But for real, though. Stop touching my stuff! What if I told you this had magical powers and could turn water into stone and stone into water if you used it properly?" He looked into the toddler's huge eyes daringly, the younger just giggling happily.

"Stupid! That kind of magic isn't even real. Stop trying to scare me, Mister!," he just laughed, Taehyung just scoffing at him.
You hypocritical moron, he just thought, eyes narrowed. You think vampires exist and Harry Potter is real but you don't think 'that kind of' magic does? Fuck off.

"Anyways," he changed the topic as he cleared his throat. "We're going to the police station tomorrow. You need to be returned home, your parents must be worried sick. I hope you know their full names or their telephone numbers, or at least your address. Or we'll have a problem." Jungkook blinked, looking like he was deep in thought for a while.
He then simply shrugged, looking way too happy for Taehyung's liking.

"Police officer is smart, he can find mommy and daddy for me. Oh Mister, I really want you to meet my mommy and daddy. Mommy is so beautiful, you will fall in love with her. But she's already in love with daddy! She has so many pretty necklaces, just like you, Mister! And my daddy, he's so cool. In his free time, he goes hunting animals or cutting wood. He took me with him once, for our Christmas tree. And he's so strong, I want to be just like him when I'm big!," the toddler rambled excitedly, the vampire listening cautiously but not because he was necessarily interested but rather because he felt like his overly suspicious friend Mina did have a point.

The fact that compulsion did not work on Jungkook was pretty unsettling. What if his parents knew about vampires? Or maybe he just hadn't done it properly. Or it simply was too dark. But could that really be the case? He was an extremely experienced vampire, after all.
He simply decided to try again.

"Hey," he spoke softly, going on his knees so he was on eye level with the bubbly child, he even laid a hand on the boy's shoulder. "I want you to go to the kitchen and... wash your hands." He felt his pupils dilate and contract as well as the engergy seething from them, the recipient being Jungkook's eyes. Exactly the things that happened in every compulsion initiated by a vampire. However, the ravenette's orbs did not absorb the energy, his dark pupils staying just the way they were and his slightly lighter irises glowing dimly and calmly, just like they did last night.

The toddler laughed. "Why? My hands aren't dirty, Mister! Ooh, is it dinner time? Jungkookie is hungry!" The compulsion had evidently not worked. Taehyung groaned in agony, nearly never having been so confused.
"What? You wanted me to take you to Starbucks this morning and a dumpling restaurant at noon. And now you're hungry again? I'm not taking you out again, kid!"

Jungkook pouted sadly. "But I want pizza," he whined, looking like he could start crying any minute. Taehyung gasped as he saw the disappointment flash in the younger's orbs, his pleading expression tugging at his heartstrings and making him give in reluctantly, no matter how much he tried to reject him.
"Fine," he just mumbled.

But only because you're leaving tomorrow and perhaps I find you, despite the fact that you're the most annoying little shit ever, kind of adorable. Maybe I'll miss you just the tiniest bit, toddlers are kinda cute after all.

As he walked along the street and breathed in the chilly autumn's air with the toddler tightly holding on to his hand and pretty much pulling him down all the time, he took the opportunity to ask more questions about him and his family. You could never be too sure, after all. He couldn't afford living in a city with even the slightest chance of someone trying to capture and kill him. His life was far too valuable for that.

"Does your family drink tea?," he asked casually, the little boy nodding happily which made him mouth a strained 'Fucking damn it'. Since 1800, mixing the toxic herb vervain into everyone's daily cup of tea had become a tradition for everyone wanting to keep safe from vampires. Taehyung's experiences at tea parties he had been invited to ever since had not been very pretty.
But maybe he was being too suspicious. There was a possibility of families drinking tea without knowing anything about vampires, after all...

"Have you ever heard of an herb called vervain?," he asked carefully, nervosity rising up inside of him as he saw Jungkook think deeply. The ravenette then shook his head. "No, I haven't. Why are you asking me that, Mister?," he asked, his little eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Then why can't you get compelled? Ugh, never mind.

"Haha, no reason. Hey, by the way. Why do you think vampires exist again? It just sounds so bizarre to me, you know? How did you even think of such stuff?" At that, the toddler smiled so widely it actually scared Taehyung a bit.
"Internet! There are so many things about vampires there. Theories, pictures, books, movies, even something strange called 'fanfiction'! Vampires are really beautiful, you know? You looked like one to me. And you will never be able to change my mind. I'll always believe in them!"

Of course. The damn Internet.

Ever since it came into existence, Taehyung had avoided the Internet by all cost. There were many things he was good at, but digital media was not one of them. As he had never owned a computer or a mobile phone, he didn't know people actually talked about vampires. And made books and movies about them. He most definetely did not like the sound of that and planned on buying a device with Internet access after taking Jungkook to the pizzeria.
He had to know if the internet was a threat to him.

On the bright side, he came to a conclusion that reassured him just a tiny bit. Vampire compulsion did not work on toddlers, his parents were completely normal and didn't know anything about vampires or supernaturality. He could stay in this town for good. It was just the Internet that gave him an extremely bad gut feeling.

"There's the pizzaria. Come on and eat your pizza quickly, I have something important to do afterwards," he ordered, tugging at the child's hand and dragging him inside the restaurant.

With the uncomfortable gut feeling still floating somewhere inside him, he watched the excited toddler eat his Hawaiian pizza with a frown on his face.

And yet, he found the younger's wide eyes and chubby cheeks while munching on his dinner quite adorable.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

(A/N: spoiler alert, next chapter's gonna be the last one with baby jungkookie🥺 that's why the first chapters are so long and stuff (but i think they're gonna be super long in general idk if that's good or bad-

and today i kinda got my braces in (for the second time in my life) and omfg i literally can't speak that shit's blocking my whole mouth but you know what's funny? during the whole process i literally just fell asleep and slept until they were finished despite all the noise and discomfort lmfao

i also wanted to thank you for 400 followers🥰🥰 it means a lot to me and i'm so happy that people more or less enjoy the stuff that my strange brain comes up with uwuwu thanks for reading it i love you lots💜💜)