Challenge: Random - Rant Aug14-21
Length: 198 words

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Would it be too much to ask for a purity ring to actually mean honest-to-god chastity for once? One in five would do!

It's called a purity ring for a reason boys and girls. It's not a badge of honour if you've gone and done it already behind Mummy and Daddy's backs.

Look, I'm not a snob, okay, I'm cursed.

Believe you me, I would love to be able to snack on just anyone like every other vampire out there, BUT I CAN'T! I picked the wrong witch to piss off in the seventeenth century so I can only sink my fangs into a virgin.

I could just take a child, but I have standards people! I may be a blood sucking fiend, but I draw the line at tweens.

And no, vampires do not have the innate ability to sniff out a virgin. The first I know is when I'm spewing out the initial, delightful mouthful. Not pretty or cool!

Last month I nearly died of starvation. I had to break into a convent! Do you know how dangerous that is for a vampire? One Hail Mary in the wrong place and poof.

Purity rings, people. PURITY!