Chapter 54 Part 2 Headaches.

A few weeks later, Zero is at the townhouse. He has been staying there when he isn't working. Not really going to the bar. He knew that Nicole left, he really didn't care either way. Just the last few weeks, he has been getting really bad headaches. A lot of flashbacks of when he was with Yuki. Seeing more and more bites and pieces of there relationship. Having some feelings return to him. Just knowing at the moment, she despised him. The last few Fridays, he went to pick up Ren, She was nowhere to be found. After she yelled at him that time before. She made sure not to see him again. He knew that night she was truly upset. He understood why. Remembering now how much she wanted Ren. How she didn't want anyone to take him away. It just brought more guilt to him. To know how she truly felt about him and their son. He never thought anyone could love someone that deeply. 

He saw that her and Kaname were closer than they ever been. Now remembering, how she hated him when Zero first saw her again. Doing everything to get away from him. Zero now throwing her right back into his arms. The thought crushed him. He just knew there wasn't anything he could do. That she wouldn't even probably believe him. If he said he remembered some things. That he even had some feelings. He knew there was a possibility she would think he was just saying this. To bed her again. He knew that hurt her to be used by him. He couldn't believe he even did that. It was so not like the real him at all. He also didn't understand why now of all times, he was remembering things. When all this time, there was nothing. Just the feeling of detest for her. Just seeing her as the pureblood nothing else. Just like she told him. Now he saw everything. How kind she was to him when they were young. That she was a human, just like him once. How she saved him over and over again.  He still couldn't believe it.

When This Friday comes, Zero wants to go to pick up Ren but he can't. His head is spinning round and round. He has to lay down. He feels sick to his stomach and the light hurts his eyes. He just crawls into bed, curling up in the dark. Flashes going through his mind. Remembering the last morning he saw her, how she ran to him down the stairs making love to him on the sofa. Asking him not to go. How he now wished he didn't leave that day. How none of this would have taken place. He remembers the blanket, she holds so dearly to her, The one she wrapped herself in when she lost their child. Was the one he bought them when they came to the townhouse for the first time. He also remembers her giving him the deed to this house. Making sure he was taken care of. How he even made that ugly, using her in the house she gave him.

The flashes just push through his mind. Burning his brain. The more he would remember the more pain would go through him. He hurt so much. He couldn't move. There was no getting up or going anywhere. He couldn't leave the bed. He also noticed how different she has become. That her Darkside is nowhere like it was before. It didn't seem to take over her as much. Only when she took his blood. Otherwise, she seemed fine with being with just one of them. Things where different. The dark side that would kill and want revenge. She didn't use on him. She just kept taking his shit, like when they were at Cross. His cold sarcastic manner, that she always overlooked. Just saying that's Zero. This time, she couldn't overlook it any longer. His heart filled with pain, with thinking about everything he just put her through. How badly he treated her.

He laid there thinking about. How now he would never get rid of Kaname. She would never leave him. She has gotten to close to him. Even starting to make love to him again. After Zero pushed her to. Which only made him sicker to his stomach. The thought of Kaname touching her, made him want to die. Worse yet it was all his fault. Knowing him pushing her to be with Kaname had to kill her most of all. To know he didn't care that she was with Kaname. When in the past he couldn't bear her even standing next to him. Those same feelings where returning. He would just have to curb them now. He had no say. She even wanted a divorce. Which he knew wouldn't be very easy considering their situation. So that was one thing, he didn't have to worry about happening too soon. Thanks to Ren, even Kaname wouldn't put him in danger. Knowing that would hurt Yuki way too much. He still can't help but stare at the ring. She gave back to him. Knowing deep inside it belonged on her finger and no one else's.

He also thought about. How when she was here with him at the townhouse, he would always make love to her anywhere but his bed. Always making her face the other side not him. Just so she couldn't kiss or get close to him. Never giving her the closeness. She wanted and needed from him. He knew now that hurt her. He knew just how much. Remembering how she didn't even want him to leave the room. When they first got back together. How her eyes would follow him. So scared he would leave her. Telling her he wouldn't. Then he did this. It was worse than leaving her. He knew all this had to take pieces of her away. Because now he was feeling its effects. He hurt deep within, at just the thought of her hurting this badly. Him being the cause. Remembering all she said to him before she left. Seeing the pain written all over her face. This wasn't what he wanted.