Chapter 136 part 2 Truth

"I don't want to hurt you. I love you as well. No matter what you may think of me." Zero answers. "Then spill it." Yuki glares. "After I was shot, I was taken here to the manor, I was fine. Alex was alone with me in a room. I told him, I wanted out of this situation. That I couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted to be free of you. Of Kaname. That this life wasn't for me, So he offered me a way out. He gave me a pill that would surpass my blood and sexual desire for you. Making me not want you. Making me into the person, I would have been if I never met you. I didn't lose my memories, I just had no feelings for you at all. To be honest, I hated you. I hated what you were. You were everything I detested. Yagari went along with it to help me. He knew some just not all. Or at least I thought. He let me use his bar and kept me away from people at the association so they didn't know I was alive. I did hear you put yourself to sleep so I figured what I did was a good thing. I did miss Ren very much. It was hard not to see him. Even Though For the eighteen months, I was fine. I lived without you. I did have something missing though. I couldn't seem to love or want to be with anyone really. I was with Nicole for a while. She cared for me. It just didn't seem the same. I didn't feel the same towards her. I didn't want to commit to anyone. To be with her was just another thing to try to move away from you. To forget you, trying to make my life complete. It didn't work." Zero admits.

"So she wasn't potioning you?" Yuki asks. tears running down her face. "No, Not at all. She would get it from Alex to give it to me. Going alone with me, because she cared for me. So she kept my secret. Just so she could be with me. She was part of Sara's family that wasn't a lie, but she really could have cared less what you did to her." Zero states.

"When we came to you at the bar, Why did you agree to come here then?" Yuki asks. "I wanted to see Ren. I didn't lie about that. I truly wanted him, I remembered everything about him. How much we wanted him. I still had no feelings towards you. I couldn't even see why I would want to be with you. Nothing about you attracted me. When you threw yourself at me. I still felt nothing. So when Kaname asked me to leave, I was fine with it. I went back to the bar and stayed with Nicole. I would see Ren and I was happy with it. I did see you suffering from it all. I wanted you to try to move on. So I told you to. Pushing you towards Kaname. When I saw the calendar on the wall with the hearts, I knew how bad you were hurting so thats why I called to tell you to let go. I was fine with it. I thought you would be with him. Everything would be good. it just didn't work out that way. When you were sick from the miscarriage and was at the townhouse, I felt bad for you. The panic I felt when you were dying was real. For some reason as much as I  hated you. I didn't want to see you dead. SoI offered you blood. When you took it and went dark, the sex was incredible. You broke through with it. I felt things I didn't before. I needed it. I needed you. I just couldn't admit that. I didn't want to. I didn't want you. So I started going to the bar and screwing anyone and everyone willing. Having one orgy after another. Trying to break the desire and need for you. It didn't work so I invited you to live with me. I saw you falling apart from my actions and I tried to stay away at times. Tried not to get close to you. You had enough and left. You also figured, I was still being potioned and you let Nicole stop giving me it. Which made my feelings start to return. Made old memories cloud my mind. I saw how foolish I was. How empty I was without you. How much I really needed you in my life. Even if it was with Kaname. I then went to Alex and asked him if he could curb your dark side. He Said yes, So I agreed to stop the pill and return to me. Feeling I could curb your dark side so everything should be fine. That may be in the end, I wouldn't have to share you with him. You would be mine."Zero confesses.

"That was all you? All that pain? Suffering? The loss of our child? Why didn't you just stay away! You wanted away from me. You shouldn't of never came back here. That day in the bar, you should have just said NO." Yuki shouts. Filled with anger and rage.

 "I know." Zero answers sadly. "Why couldn't you just be a man and tell me the truth? I longed for you. Cried for you. There was part of me that died with you. I know I did some shitty things in the past, but I grew up. I grew past them. You always wanted to say that Kaname was evil. That he would hurt me. You did a damn good job. Better than he ever could. I just can't look at you right now. You're, not the person, I thought you were. I should have left you alone. When you came here to save me, I should have sent you away. That innocent sweet Zero got corrupted by being here. I took everything that was good about you away. I am so sorry. You are free to go. I will not bother you again." Yuki says standing there. tears flowing uncontrollably.

 "I don't want to. I love you. That is true. I want to be with you." Zero says trying to go close to her. She pushes him away. "You can't. Like you admitted this life isn't for you. Kaname and I came into it this time, trying to make it work. You, on the other hand, went behind us. Trying to get me to only be with you. Even though, I contained my dark half. Not sleeping with Kaname, only you. Because I didn't want to hurt you. He is my true husband. I will honor that. I will not leave him. So if that means I have to give you up. I will." Yuki admits.

Kaname not sure he heard that right. Zero dying bit by bit inside from that admission.

 "You would give me up again? Walk away from me for him again?" Zero shouts. "I didn't give you up this time, You gave up." Yuki answers. "You're pissed at me. I know that. I understand that. But to stay with him?" Zero snaps. "I told you, I wasn't leaving him this time. You can't seem to understand that point. "Yuki answers. "You know you love me more. You have admitted that many times. "Zero hisses. "Yes, I never lied about my feelings for you. I haven't lied about anything this time. I  have been honest to both of you. If you can't be honest, and can't live the way we were meant to. Then you should leave. I am a bit tired from all this. I will be in your Quarters Kaname." Yuki says walking away.

"Don't do this! Yuki please." Zero says walking after her. "Do what? If you want free, the door is right there. I promise you this time, no one will coming looking for you. I will let you be. Alex can make you a pill to fix your needs again, Also making me one in return. That way maybe for the first time in a long time we can live happily. I think you have a lot to think about. Maybe you should leave for a bit. We need a breather from each other." Yuki states. walking upstairs.