Chapter 77 Nowhere

Yuki sees that not much of anything, she does towards Ai makes the child want to talk or even be around her. It makes her sad. She knows she has lost her. Probably for good. Ai holds everything against her. Feeling she left them both to be with Kiryu. As Kaname keeps saying. Ai doesn't want to hear anything that Yuki has to say. When she does talk to her, she is just downright mean and spiteful. Showing just how she feels towards her. Wanting Yuki to feel hurt and pain, just like she felt all these years.

  Kaname lets her walk the grounds and be herself. Feeling there isn't much else she could do behind his back. He sees all that Ai is doing to her. It bothers him as well, he just knows how the child hurt all these years without having a mother. He did his best to give her everything she needed. He just couldn't take the place of a mother.

Kaname knows he should hate her, yet he doesn't. He is happy to have her home. Have her in their house. Where she should be. He just knows it could stop at any time. The tv outlets are relentless. They keep playing the video of her saving him over and over again. That she is alive. The phone has been ringing for days, From distant family and friends. Kaname doing his best to keep everything under control. He is now back to his old self wanting to take over the world. It's just the way she makes him feel. He tries to hold back hatred, wanting her to get close to him again. Needing her, and still loving her.

"I am so glad you came to dinner tonight," Kaname says. "It's been a long time since I been at this table. It brings back memories." Yuki says. "I hope good ones," Kaname replies. "Some. It's nice to see you are back to yourself." Yuki answers. "What can I say? You make me feel like no other. How long do you intend on staying?" Kaname asks. "Not long. Ai doesn't seem to be taking to me at all. I feel I am wasting her time and mine." Yuki replies. "Why do you always give up on her so easily?" Kaname huffs. "She is your child. She is strong. She has you, and I know you will do right by her." Yuki responds. "That doesn't mean, she doesn't need you. Or want you for that matter. She could be testing you to see if you're going to walk away again. And yet here you are willing to do so. FOr him. Was the life he gave you that wonderful?" Kaname snaps. "I have another life Kaname. This is no longer it. I do have one that I am very happy with now. I did come to do what I wanted to. To save you. I know. I owed you that." Yuki comments. "And you want to just run off again? Leaving me again. Where is lover boy anyway? Should I be expecting him?" Kaname says. "I will be leaving in a day or two. There is nothing to expect." Yuki answers finishing her food. "I don't know why your hiding from me again. I know the truth Yuki. No matter how closed mouth your being. I just wish you would be opened and honest." Kaname says. "I already know where that would get me," Yuki says. Giving him a glare. 

Yuki was doing her best to keep Zero out of this. Yet Kaname knew better. He would always through Zero at her. Knowing he was part of this.

 Kaname saw it no other way. He knew Yuki better than she knew herself in some ways. He knew that Kiryu would never let her go. He loved her just as strongly as he loved her.  He knew she didn't trust him anymore after that night. That night took her away from him, even more so then Kiryu did. He just wished, she would learn to trust him again. Be open with him.  He knew she had to have some feelings left for him, any time she came back to save him. He just needed to work on them.

Yuki for the rest of the night stays in her room, trying to let all this get past. She packs her bags, wanting to leave this life behind again. Just knowing now, he knew she was alive. Yuki was scared he wouldn't let her go. She was still legally married to him. Which she wanted to ask if she could get out of that. Just not sure how.

She also sat there wondering if what Kaname said was true about Ai. If she was testing her to see if she would let go again? Or hang in there. She wasn't sure of what to do? If she hung in there that would mean she had to stay here. Be with Kaname and let go of Zero and her already made family she loved. In a way she was selfish, she didn't want to give any of that up. In another way, she would love to build a relationship with Ai. That just could take a lot of time, which she didn't have. The more she stayed here with Kaname, the more he would think things were back to where they were. Which wasn't true at all.

She wondered how Zero was doing if he was watching the news. She knew he wouldn't know the woman that was on the stand defending Kaname. IT was her pureblood self. Doing what it needed to. She knew now not only did Kaname know she was alive. Everyone did. It would be hard to go back to her old simple life. The one she loved so. She laid in bed, just thinking about how her and Zero would snuggle up close every night. How she missed him and it was only a few days. How even after being with him all these years, she still longed for him. Nothing changed. Zero was still the love of her life.

Being near Kaname did confuse her, she didn't feel hate for him any longer at all. She felt sadness. He was still beautiful to her. Still, a man that could take her breath away just by standing next to him. She just knew him better than she did as a native child. She knew his dark side. She never wanted to see that again. Just now she had her own. All those years of trying to keep herself from being scared. To hide all her pain from Zero, made her tough. Made her who she is today. Kaname was no longer dealing with the child he once knew.