Chapter 21 trying

In a few days, Kaname has returned home. Wanting nothing more than to be close to Yuki. He comes home going straight to her, finding her in the den. Missing her terribly.

"Yuki My love. It's so nice to see you down here." Kaname says. "I was spending some time with Ai. I see your home? For how long this time?" Yuki asks. "A few weeks. I want to spend some time with you if you will allow me to. I brought you home a surprise."Kaname says. "You needn't get me anything." Yuki answers. "I wanted to. I think about you all the time."Kaname replies

 Going over to her, taking her hand in his. He sees the fright in her eyes. Which haunts him. This isn't what he wants. He wants her to look at him the way she use to. With those gleaming eyes, that thought he could do no harm.

He tries to be as gentle as he can. Like he always was before. To show her not to be afraid of him. He takes out a small box, handing it to her.

 "This is for you," Kaname says. "Thank you," Yuki replies opening it slowly. 

She opens it to reveal a gorgeous diamond tennis bracelet." 

Its beautiful Kaname." Yuki replies. As Kaname slides it on her wrist. "May we have dinner tonight? Please? Just me and you. I would like to plan something special." Kaname comments. "If you like."She responds.

 Kaname seeing that she doesn't get excited like in the past. That she is nice, but nothing like before.

Yuki holding her fear and terror which she only sees from him now. How she use to love to do these things with him. How she longed to be next to him. She now just saw what he would do if he didn't get his way. Also feeling what else is he capable of?

Later in the evening, Kaname goes to the bedroom, Taking Yuki by the hand. To bring her to dinner. She Does notice that his touch has gotten back to normal. That he treats her like the porcelain doll he use to. She sees he is trying, just knowing there is no sense. Nothing was going to change her plan. It couldn't.

"Close your eyes, my love. I have a surprise for you." Kaname says. Guiding Yuki outside into the garden. "What did you do now Kaname?" Yuki asks. "Something I hope you like?" Kaname answers.

 Taking her deeper into the garden. He takes her upstairs, her mind wondering where they are going. 

"You may open them now." He states.

 When Yuki opens her eyes they are in the gazebo. White lights hanging all over it, A table and chairs with a white table cloth, all done up with fancy plates and dinnerware. Flowers covering the whole Gazebo. It was a gorgeous site to take in.

"Kaname it's gorgeous," Yuki replies. "I hope you like it?" Kaname asks. "I love it." She replies. Kaname pulling out a chair for her. "Have a seat. I thought we would dine out here tonight. Do something different. I know how much you love looking at the moonlight. I thought maybe we can come out here together and take it in. That way you get out, and I'm with you." Kaname remarks. "Thats nice. Thank you." Yuki answers. "I know things for us have been rocky the last few months. I want to try to change that. To make up for what I have done. I just want you to know you hurt me deeply Yuki." Kaname responds. "I know. I am sorry." Yuki answers. "We can't go back and fix our mistakes, but I am hoping in the future we can make it better. Our daughter needs us. I can try to come home early and be here. Like you wished. Its just being the King. I have a lot of work to do." Kaname replies. "I know you do. Whatever you like is fine." Yuki answers.

 "I have come to see thats not true. It has to be fine for both of us. I know for the most part you don't want to bother me. You never really ask for anything. You think coming to me with things will upset me. I need you to see and know. I am here to protect you. I will be here for you always." Kaname comments. "You can't fix everything Kaname. No matter how hard you might want to." Yuki says honestly. "I also can't fix what I don't know to be wrong, "Kaname responds. "Do you still love me? Have I killed that completely?" Kaname adds. "I love you, I just don't trust you. You frighten me." Yuki replies. "I See. I am glad you still love me. In a way, frighten may be a good thing. So you won't do anything like that again. As long as you don't you have nothing to be scared of. I love you totally. I want to spend my entirely with you. You know this right?" Kaname says. "Yes, I can't be locked up just because you feel its the way it should be. There were problems before what I did. I also can't help my feelings." Yuki answers. "You love him don't you?" Kaname asks.

"Yes, but so he is safe I will stay far away from him. I just need for you never to hurt him." Yuki responds. "You have my word. There is no reason for me to hurt him, as long as you stay away from him." Kaname comments. "Then I guess you get what you want." Yuki answers.

The rest of the evening goes well, Kaname trying his best to get close to Yuki. Knowing she still loved Kiryu hurt him. But he saw to save him she would stay away. He could use that. So he thought.

"Its time for bed my love," Kaname says 

Taking Yuki's hand. Going up the stairs to their bedroom. They both get ready for bed. Kaname moving closer to her once in bed. Wanting to redo that night. To make things better again. When he goes to touch her arm, he sees her flinch. The fear was there. This isn't what he wanted. 

"I will not hurt you. I swear to you. Please don't flinch like that." Kaname says. "I can't help it. It's all I see when I look at you." Yuki answers. "Let me fix that," Kaname replies. Kissing her lightly and gently on her lips. "Kaname, I can't," Yuki responds. "We will build it. I promise.:"Kaname says. Holding her. 

She feels terrible just knowing she can't do that with him. She is frightened by him, is one thing. She also knows to be that close to her, he will sense she is pregnant. She knows no matter how hard he is trying to win her back. If he finds that out, he may change again. He may do something she can never forgive him for. So instead, she holds back. Even though she feels bad doing this to him. Even though she still loves him in a way. Wishing things were different. That if nothing else she could always have him as a friend. She just knows that can never happen. His jealousy is too strong for that. She knows what she did with Zero she shouldn't have. She let her emotions take over her. Her want and desire won out. Now leaving everyone in this very big mess.