02 | What Are You Fighting For?
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VALOR
ii. WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR?
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RILEY O'DAIR WAS... WAS... She was... God, Riley was so flustered that she couldn't think of the proper adjective that could describe how she felt. She was... She was pissed, upset, discouraged, disappointed. She was every negative emotion in existence all bottled up into one enraged child.
Once again, Riley was a failure.
She hated admitting it almost as much as she hated the feeling of it. Something about the feeling of unsuccess tore her up inside, eating her away to the point where she couldn't sit still until she did something about it.
She didn't know where she'd gone wrong. One minute, she was creating forcefields around her colleagues (well, she was trying to), and the next, she was cowering beneath the rubble alone. It was just like last year all over again. A complete blur. All Riley could hear amongst the chaos were the explosions. Those stupid explosions. She'd lost control and began to panic — the one thing she was explicitly told in training not to do.
And of course, out of all the people who could have pulled her out of the field, Natasha Romanoff had been the one to come to her rescue. Again.
Riley's face contorted with distaste at the thought of the condescending spy. She cranked her fist back, hitting the punching bag in front of her with a loud grunt.
Weakness was the worst feeling in the world. Worse than bleeding. Worse than concussions. Worse than getting the last pick for weapons in training. She knew she was just a kid, and she tried to let that anchor her. She had years before she could be— no, had to be the best version of herself. Still, was it such a crime to want to be better? That was all Riley wanted. She just wanted to prove that she deserved to be here: alive.
She desired to prove to the council and Director Fury that they weren't wasting their time with her, to prove to the agents that actually liked her that they had a reason to support her. Above all, she wanted to prove to stupid Natasha Romanoff that she was strong, that she belonged with S.H.I.E.L.D.
That all felt so far away.
The council kept hitting Riley with more and more training, which she eagerly threw herself into. She trained all day, every day for weeks and weeks. She strived to become stronger and faster without a complaint.
She pushed herself so much to the point where Riley wasn't positive why she even bothered anymore. She didn't fully understand why her superiors wanted to keep her around. Were Riley's powers really worth the trouble? After all, turning invisible wasn't going to help anyone but herself. It wasn't like Riley could... shoot beams out of her hands, or something!
Riley desperately yearned to feel useful. She was given these extraordinary powers, yet she couldn't use them half the time! The one thing that made Riley stand out from the other agents was her powers, and she could hardly control them. Riley had the determination and the motive, but without the focus and concentration, she wasn't any better than the other child agents.
Maybe she was going about it all wrong. She was only thinking about herself, now that she was looking deeper. Her arrogance and ego had inflated tremendously because of the council and Fury's words of support all this time. It was clouding her judgment.
Riley had to ask herself one thing: Why was she doing this? Why did she want to prove herself so badly to everyone?
She was just a child, after all. What did she have to prove anyway? She had been pushing herself so hard out of spite for the people around her, and she didn't even have a reason why. Or, at least, she hadn't given herself one, yet.
Heavy breaths escaped her as she leaned forward, pressing her hands on her exposed knees. Sweat dripped down her back, her body weary from her strenuous training. The question on her mind had hit her like a ton of bricks.
"Maybe... None of this was for me," Riley whispered to herself. Her cheeks puffed out as she lowered herself onto the mat beneath her. Her limbs stretched like a starfish, the chill of the mat feeling heavenly against her burning muscles.
Thinking about it, Riley realized that the only reason she was here because of a stupid accident that she caused. She was only here because of her parents in literally every single aspect. Everything she had today, she owed to her parents. Athena and Rob were dead, but their legacy lived on through their work. And as much as Riley found the thought strange, she was technically apart of their work now.
Riley owed it to her parents to keep going. She owed it to them to prove their deaths weren't meaningless. She owed it all to her parents, and she'd never let herself forget that. She couldn't. Just because Riley killed them didn't mean that she couldn't prevent the deaths of other innocent people.
Her eyes widened. Just because she killed them didn't mean she couldn't prevent the deaths of other innocent people.
It all suddenly made so much sense to the girl. Riley would dedicate her life to helping others. That was what Rob and Athena would have wanted it they were still alive. Riley would do everything in her power to make the world a better place, to protect the innocents. Whatever it takes.
Riley didn't know much about promises, but she would vow to dedicate her life to protecting others, to fight for those who couldn't.
But everything came crashing down when Riley remembered: she still couldn't go out onto the field without bursting into tears out of fear. The motivation was all there, but something was still missing.
Riley knew it would take time before she'd be the strongest she could be. It could take months, maybe even years. So, she would train again and again, but this time, with her parents in mind. Her family would act as a reminder for what she was fighting for. Riley owed it to them.
That was the least Riley could do.
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The year is 2009.
An entire year has flown by in the blink of an eye. The world hasn't changed all that much, but the people inhabiting it certainly have. The people have celebrated the commencement of Barack Obama becoming the first black President of the U.S., the one-year anniversary of Tony Stark revealing his superhero alias has passed, and Riley O'Dair has finally done something she's only ever dreamed of. That's right: Riley has finally completed a successful mission—one that didn't result in tears of fear and her hiding in a corner.
As a matter of fact, Riley has had not one, not two successful missions, but countless ones throughout the preceding 365 days.
It was no secret that Riley was proud of herself. It also wasn't a secret how much she struggled, too. She had trained vigorously without breaks (not that she was allowed to have many in the first place) and she oftentimes shed a few tears here and there in secret, but she had grown stronger than she'd been anticipating. Riley couldn't quite create forcefields as efficiently as she wanted, but she could turn invisible at the drop of a hat.
Plus, Riley finally had a six-pack, and she thought that was pretty badass for a little kid.
Still, being a child agent wasn't easy, and Riley was nevertheless learning with every passing day. However, it was slowly becoming more tolerable the more Riley pushed through it. She never understood how people like Fury could lead groups of people as the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. She could hardly take care of herself half the time! The idea of leading the way Fury did was daunting to Riley O'Dair.
The 8-year-old had just returned from completing a minor mission (and happily pretending she didn't have a stack of paperwork regarding her missions report waiting for her) when Fury summoned her to his office.
Many, if not all, of her coworkers feared Fury and often hated being summoned by him. They described it as the feeling you'd get when you'd get called by your parents out of nowhere, but Riley would always happily respond with, "Yeah, I have no idea what that's like, but I'll pretend if you want me to!"
But for Riley, she liked Fury a lot. She thought he was funny, and she admired his devotion to his work. She was pretty sure that she didn't fear Fury the way her colleagues did simply because she'd spent more time with him than most. After all, Riley was a special agent with a... specific future planned for her by her superiors.
She went strolling into Director Nick Fury's office bouncing on the balls of her feet, but not before promising Agent Phil Coulson that she'd have lunch with him tomorrow on their break. Riley managed to ask Coulson if he knew what Fury wanted to speak with Riley about, but the man just shrugged. Riley knew he was lying though because she'd always been able to get all kinds of information from him. For example, did you know that Fury lost his eye because of an alien cat?
Nonetheless, Riley just dismissed his secretiveness and quickened her pace to Fury's office. She knew he disliked being kept waiting, and the last thing Riley wanted was a lecture. God, Riley hated being lectured by adults. It didn't matter if it was a cheesy, motivational speech or if it was one scolding her for something she did. Riley hated it all. It was her personal hell.
Riley motioned to knock on Fury's office door, only for it to swing open before her. Riley jumped back in surprise, a flash of red sweeping her vision. Natasha Romanoff stared down at her, unfazed.
"How... How did you...?" Riley trailed off.
Natasha stared at her with a cold stare. "You hum very loudly," she emotionlessly stated. Riley nodded slowly. She hadn't even realized she'd been happily humming down the hallways of the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.
"Let her in, Agent," Fury ordered from further within his office. Natasha merely clenched her jaw and moved to the side, allowing the girl to stroll in with a pep in her step.
Riley had always been an optimistic, bright child. She let a lot of things get in her way, but she always tried to remain positive, always getting back up after being kicked down. She figured it was easier than always looking at the dark side of things. Clint oftentimes liked to think of her as a ball of sunshine. He had no idea how accurate he was.
"What's up, Old St. Nick?" greeted Riley with a smile stamped on her youthful face. She intentionally ignored the annoyed sigh that escaped Natasha.
"Is there a reason you called the baby in here?" Natasha queried, a slight edge to her voice. Riley merely stuck her tongue out at Natasha out of spite for her coldness.
Fury's eye twitched at their short-lived exchange, already annoyed. The two had a habit of being hostile toward one another, even if Natasha could technically inflict more damage on the child. Fury knew this was a bad idea, but this was what the council wanted...
"Listen, I know you two don't like each other, but I've been given specific instructions from the council to tell you this," revealed Fury.
Riley's eyebrows shot up. "Well, geez, you sound like you're sending us off to our death."
Fury adjusted his position, straightening his posture as he sat in his leather chair. He rested his elbows on his desk and glanced between the two girls in front of him. He inaudibly sighed, predicting how this conversation was going to end.
"The council has come to a decision," Fury revealed. His ominous wording piqued the agents' interests, their curiosities swelling. "Agent O'Dair, you've made significant progress in your training over the course of this past year, advancing to a level 4 agent just last month. Your training hasn't gone unnoticed."
Riley smiled at the praise. Compliments were something she strived for. It ensured her that she was doing everything right in her life. "I sure hope so," she mumbled. "I've been working my ass off all year! You know, I have a six-pack now!"
Ignoring her additional comments, which was something Riley had a bad habit of doing, Fury continued, "But you still have a long road ahead of you, especially in terms of your powers. The council thinks you need more—"
Riley seemed to know exactly what he was about to say, causing her to interrupt him with a wail. "More training!? Don't they know I'm tired!? My dreams have dreams now! That's how tired I am!"
"Well, until you can make forcefields without hesitation and maintain them for more than a few minutes, they believe it's necessary to make your training routine more vigorous," he asserted. "In order for your success in this industry, they've appointed an agent to hasten your progress."
Riley furrowed her eyebrows together. "They want someone else to train me? But I've only ever done the same training as everyone else here...?" she trailed off.
Fury's gaze slowly drifted aside to Natasha. It quickly hit her what he was about to say, so she cut him off before he could. "No. Absolutely not," she asserted.
"The council wants Romanoff to start training you, O'Dair," Fury ultimately revealed.
Riley practically choked on her spit. "Huh!? Why her? Why not Clint or Hill or... I don't know!" She waved her hands toward the woman. "She doesn't even like me!"
"She's right," casually confirmed Natasha with a hardly noticeable shrug. "I don't."
"And I don't care," mentioned Fury. He stood to his feet. "Neither do the council. They want Agent O'Dair to master her powers, and her rate of progression is too slow for their liking." He glanced back at the child. "You should be happy, O'Dair. They almost threw you to the curb if it hadn't been for Agent Romanoff."
The 8-year-old's face contorted. "What does she have to do with me?" demanded Riley. "She's wanted me to leave for years!"
"You've been a popular topic of discussion these past few years. The council had been debating on what to do with you when I remembered something Romanoff said to me just last week." His attention flickered back to Natasha. "You said O'Dair, here, would be better off being trained by a pro like you. I brought your idea up to the board. They thought it was a fine idea."
Natasha slanted her eyes. "I said that as a joke, Fury. I wasn't being serious." She folded her arms across her chest. Didn't the council know by now that she worked better alone?
"Well, you're not being paid to be a comedian," Fury remarked. "You're here to train and protect this country. And now, your job is to train Agent O'Dair."
"I don't need to be trained by her," Riley insisted. "Why can't someone else train me? She doesn't even have powers!"
"There's no one else around here with your... skillset," Fury explained. "Unless an alien falls out of the sky, you're the only one here with powers. Romanoff's one of our strongest agents, and she's also the only one that doesn't fall for your puppy dog eyes."
Riley scoffed. "Everyone loves my puppy—"
"Not me," Natasha said.
"—Almost everyone loves my puppy dog eyes!" Riley finished. She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "So... 'cause the council sucks and because I'm progressing too slowly for their tastes, they're making someone who hates my guts train me...?"
"Precisely," Fury said, sitting in his chair again and leaning back comfortably.
Riley scoffed. "What more do these people want from me? I'm 8!" proclaimed Riley. "They should be happy I'm still alive after all the crap I get put through!" Natasha just rolled her eyes. She'd been through way more crap—more than Riley could even dream of.
The ex-assassin was silent a moment, listening as Riley and Fury bickered back and forth about the decision. It didn't take long before the child ran out of excuses and went straight to begging: Pleaseee! Pretty pleaseeee! Natasha struggled to ignore it as she sorted through her thoughts. She was always like that: observant, careful, always assessing a situation before acting. Natasha was a logical speaker, not quite impulsive or explosive the way she could tell Riley was.
Riley had been in the middle of a monologue of some sort when Natasha spoke up again, "Fine."
Riley faltered, whipping her head around to face Natasha. "Huh? Say what?"
Natasha peered down at her, forcing a quiet sigh. "I'll train you. You want to be a respected agent, don't you? No one can give you what you want other than me."
"Real humble, Romanoff," commented Fury lightly.
"It's the truth," Natasha dismissed. "We'll start tomorrow morning. 6 AM in the southwest gym. Don't be late."
And as Agent Romanoff walked away, Riley couldn't help but think: This was going to be absolute hell.
Of course, she hadn't known then that going to hell would have been a lot more pleasant than being trained by the ruthless Black Widow.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
i forgot to mention that this fic will be fairly fast-paced. riley's entire life for years and years was all about work and training to be a hero. she wasn't doing anything other than that, so it'd be pointless to go into details on specifics of things that are straightforward!
also!! her relationship with nat is going to develop throughout the fic. it's not like nat is gonna love her fast. it's gonna take time, so if you happen to notice this fic moving fast and nat still doesn't like riley, don't be surprised!
ALSO writing an 8-year-old having mature/"adult" problems is very hard because LMAO you're 8??? but it's a comic book world so it works! still i am constantly laughing writing some of this stuff LMAOO <3 oh, i love riley
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