We fear the future because we are wasting the today
-
Mother Theresa

_________________

"I'm not sure you're going to be happy with information that I can provide you," Alex says to me as we take the elevator up to the conference room.

Leaning casually back against the wall, I eye myself critically in the reflection of the bronzed doors as I grin at Alex. "I'm going to beat you up if you don't give me what I need."

"I know," Alex says, but I can hear affection and pride in his voice.

"I'm afraid the reason Daniel being afraid of Annabelle isn't just because of the company rule," he asks casually as the elevator rolls to a stop and the doors slide open.

"I know," I say as I follow him out, the sound of my heels clicking in unison on the industrial tile floor with my Alex's luxurious shoe.

"He's adopted."

I stop.

"Pardon?"

Alex stops walking, turns around to face me and his eyes meet mine. "He's adopted and I don't think the board members are aware of that fact."

I'm so stunned I straighten up and take a step back. The feeling of dread that's lodged deep in the pit of my stomach making me want to puke.

Memories rushes back to me.

My mother was raped.

Teenage mother.

Jesus! Why didn't I think about it earlier? Daliya definitely wasn't a teenage mom considering that she's in her fifties and Daniel is twenty-eight.

He wasn't tensed about his relationship Annabelle. He was scared that the people who respected him till now will see him in a different way once they find out the truth.

"Annabelle definitely knows that he's adopted and he doesn't want her to blurt it out to everyone. So I guess that's why he offered her money to settle things. I'm not exactly sure. All these are speculations."

I don't respond to him as I try to connect the dots. I continue my walk and I hear Alex following me. Annabelle knew that Daniel was adopted and something might have gone wrong between them so she started threatening him with that news.

The board members may take action against Daniel if they find out that he was involved with Annabelle and the news of Daniel being adopted on top of that definitely won't be acceptable. Considering it's a family business and blood-line is important for them, this is a serious issue.

I enter the empty conference hall and take my seat at the head of the table while Alex sits on the seat to my left side.

"Does it change anything, Allison?" Alex asks, his gaze fixed on my face.

Does it change anything?

Does it?

Do I feel Daniel is anything less because of the fact that he's adopted?

Does my decision of no divorce changes because he's adopted?

No! No to all those questions.

It doesn't change anything.

"No, it doesn't." I reply, my voice stern. I choose Daniel, not his job, money or his name. What I want is Daniel. The man who loves me and would do anything to protect me.

Alex smiles at me. "Let's get down to business."

I nod my head.

"This is a serious topic and we're not sure how the board members would react considering that Daniel's parents hid the truth. Anyway, we'll find ways to deal with it. What we need to focus right now is Annabelle and Daniel."

That witch!

"Daniel has abandon issues so sh-"

"Abandon issues?" I ask, my voice louder.

Alex arch his brows. "You're not aware of it?" I shake my head. "Daniel probably has abandon issues which is what Annabelle tried to take advantage of you."

I'm with you. I want you. Only you. You got it wrong, Daniel. Nobody wants you, it's just me who loves you.

Annabelle's words ring in my ears. That damn woman.

"You were absolutely right when you said Annabelle was trying to mess up Daniel's mind. His father died in an accident, mother was raped and murdered. He was adopted when he was five and if my sources are right, he didn't stay with his adopted parents for much time. He stayed with them for one year before he moved to Thomas' house and after that he went to boarding and then to college. Loneliness maybe the reason why he has such issues. He consulted a therapist when he was in college for few months and I guess everything was alright after that. So when Annabelle left him or maybe when he realized that she doesn't actually want him but has eyes only for his money, his fears must have been back. That explains why he's afraid of loosing his company."

My heart aches for him. Christ, it isn't the worst thing I've ever heard about that happened to someone but still that isn't making this easier. The idea of Daniel being afraid of being alone is killing me. Maybe that's why Thomas was so protective of him.

Now, everything falls into right place. His last string of hope was his hardwork. He kept himself closed so that he didn't have to experience the feel of loneliness. He might have been broken when he realized that Annabelle didn't want him for who he is but only for his money.

That fucking bitch! I'm going to kill her. How dare she make him feel worthless?

"Now, the only catch here is that Annabelle demanded money. A lot of money. Considering that she has a wonderful income from her job and profit from the company, I don't get why she needs money," Alex points out.

That's right. Why does she want money? She herself has lots of money so why will she go to such lengths to blackmail Daniel?

"She using her money for something else," I state, nodding my head.

Alex shrugs. "I have no idea what it is. I don't think it's drugs after the way she looks. Very healthy and no after effects or anything."

That right. Anaconda is a healthy woman from the looks and a drug addict would definitely doesn't look like that especially since this is going on since months.

"I'll get into it. Don't worry."

I nod my head. "How did you get so much within a day?"

"I started searching since the day you decided to marry him. It's better to be safe than sorry."

I grin at him but my heart doesn't. My focus is completely and utterly on Daniel who needs me more than anything.

Hope continues explaining the cases along with Gracie while all four partners, Alex, James and Judge listens to them. I didn't know Judge would be here, he just barged in and settled in one of the seats. Since it's Monday, he should be in the court but looks like he has taken off.

My gaze turns towards Ashley who is sitting on the couch, playing with her phone. I haven't confronted them yet. I'm waiting for Hope and Grace to finish so I can explain them about the disciplinary action. I have to make a decision about Ashley and that cannot be delayed anymore. No matter how much I prepare myself I still am not rea-

My thoughts halter when Hope's phone beeps with a message. She ignores it as she continues but the phone beeps again. This time the beep doesn't stop. Her face cringes as she move towards her seat to grab the phone from the table. She frowns when she checks her phone and slowly, her expression changes. From annoyance to worry. She lifts her head and meets my gaze.

"Check your phone," she orders, her voice loud but cracking slightly.

I don't argue or question as I grab my phone. I hate it when my phone decides to interrupt me during a meeting so I shut it down or turn it to silent mode. My brows pull together when I see missed calls and messages. It's from Ryan, Leila and John. There are few from my parents too. My eyes search for Daniel's name but none from him.

Before I could open the messages, Ryan starts calling and I pick up the phone. "What is it?"

"Everything is out of our hands," Ryan barks into the phone.

Immediately, I stand up from my seat as I take in the news. "What happened?"

"Annabelle told Caniel about her and... Daniel. So Daniel's parents came here and shouted at him along with your parents. At last, Daniel took off."

"Took off?"

"Yeah! Like literally drove away to God knows where."

I close my eyes, trying to calm myself down after realizing what has happened. I've anticipated this moment but not so soon.

I'll wait for you with pizzas.

My heart sinks. My lip tightens and my stomach rolls as I try to hold it together, but I'm having one hell of a time staying strong.

"Give me twenty minutes, I'll be there," I say before hanging up.

I turn to Judge. "I need to leave."

He nods his head before walking out of the room. Hope grabs her things as she gets ready to leave.

"You can't leave," Cassy says, rising to her feet. "This is an important meeting, Allison."

"I have an emergency," I state, trying to hold myself back from snapping at her.

Cassy frowns. "What emergency? If it's something about Daniel then it can wait. Why are you wasting your time and ours for him? He's a grown up who handle his issues." My hands turn to fist, trying to ignore her words.

"Cassy stop it. We can schedule the meeting to another day," Alex butts in, taking control of the situation.

"Why should we do that? The least Ally can do right now is tell me and Adam the reason for disciplinary action. We've been wait-"

"What's wrong with you?" Adam shouts at Cassy, standing up from his seat. His voice loud enough to shake the whole room. "She's says it's an emergency so you need to understand that. She's isn't doing this because she wants to. This is an unexpected for her just like it's for us. We always stood by her in every decision and we'll do the same even now." Adam turns towards me. "We can wait." He smiles at me.

I nod my head, smiling at him and thankful for handling the situation because right now I'm not sure how I might react to Cassy.

"Daniel is going to be fine," Alex whispers, giving me an assured smile. I smile at him and then without waiting another second, I walk out of there with Hope trailing behind me.

Fifteen minutes later, I stepped inside Thomas' house, Judge and Hope following me. My eyes finds Ryan and Leila who are standing at the doorway, probably waiting for me.

"Ally," Ryan whispers, letting out a sigh while Leila stares at me with red eyes.

I remained silent, my chest thundering. I breathed in deep, exhaling through my nose. "He couldn't stand here and take any more humiliation so he walked away," Ryan said, gritting his teeth and by the look on his face I can say it was bad. "His father decided to disown him. Considering his outburst, I think Annabelle has filled their ears with lies."

I nod my head absorbing his each and every word. "Is Annabelle here?"

"No," Leila replied, sniffing.

My teeth clenched down, one row aligned on top of the other, and I had to will my face from reacting. It took nearly everything in me to play off the anger filling me up. 

As if I wasn't about three seconds away from screaming, I asked, "Are my parents here?"

He nodded, the discomfort brutally apparent on his face. I guess he did know me well enough to not be fooled. "Yeah." Ryan stopped talking, his eyes going pained in a way I've never seen.

I gave him a small nod before moving inside to meet the guests.

I sensed the evil almost immediately. I spotted my mother and my father within seconds. It was like my body was tuned in to know where they were at; it always had been. It was a protective instinct, it had to be.

"Ally," Mom cries out as she steps towards me, wrapping her arms around me. I freeze suddenly, not expecting her reaction. "I'm so sorry," she whispers. I could sense the regret it her voice though I'm not sure of the reason.

Twenty six years of my life and there are only handful of times I can count when my mother hugged me. She is an affectionate person, the one who always steals everyone's breathe. The lovely woman who always takes care of everyone.

I don't know whether it's fortunate or unfortunate that I never got to experience her affectionate nature.

She pulls away from me, stepping back as she gives me a sad smile. I blew out a breath and rolled my shoulders, pasting a tight smile on my face. I took in the tall, slim, and nearly blonde woman who I used to think was so beautiful when I was a little kid. Especially then. I'd loved the hell out of her before I knew better, and that thought made my heart ache for kid-Allison who hadn't known any better for a while.

My eyes move towards Daliya who's sitting on the couch, sobbing in Carla's arms. Carla gives me a sad look, not knowing how to greet me. I look around the room to find Thomas but he's nowhere, he must have gone to work. I think he's not aware of what happened here otherwise he would have been here by now.

I move my gaze towards the two old men who are staring at me. My father who always looks composed and calm wasn't in his usual composure. He looks at me with a longing I've never seen. Maybe, after realizing that he'd abandoned his own blood-type for two decades he couldn't look me in the eye without regret.

I look away from Dad as my eyes settle on Caniel who looks like he might kill someone.

"What's happening?" I asked in a serious voice.

"Daniel was involved with another woman…" Mom trailed off, her features turning weak.

This sudden feeling of dread put me on alert. "Who?"

Slipping her arm over my shoulder, she pulled me into her side, kissing my forehead—I fought that tiny urge to pull away from her—and I knew. I fucking knew what she was going to say. "Annabelle, his friend."

My entire body went rigid. Everyone knows about Daniel and Annabelle.

"Allison," my mom said my name like it was made of eggshells. "They've been doing it behind your back. I didn't want to tell you but you should know this."

My mind drifts towards Daniel. Where is he? Is he alright?

"You're going to be okay," Mom said, giving me a shake that wasn't distracting me from the fact I was going to have to count to a thousand so I wouldn't lose it. "You're going to be okay," she repeated.

I'm going to be okay?

The urge to be mean gripped my tongue. I wanted to ask her about the hundreds of times she hadn't done something for me. I really did.

But I couldn't get myself to go there. Not now.

"I...I'm s-sorry," Daliya whispers in between her sobbing. Carla consoles her by rubbing her back and whispering something in her ear.

"He's going to get punished for what he did. He'll not even get a penny from me," Caniel shouts at the top of his voice, startling me. "That bastard," he curses.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...

I continued to count to stop myself from doing something that I might regret later.

Anxiety and a not insignificant amount of anger flooded my veins. How could he say that?

"I know, Allison, he hurt you. You didn't know all the things Daniel was doing behind your back. I know it's difficult for you... It's barely a month," he pauses, trying to control his emotions. I appreciate him thinking about my well-being but that's not what he should be doing right now. Instead of being sympathetic, he should be thinking about his son who's missing.

Heaven help me. Heaven fucking help me. My fingers went up to press over the top of my eyebrows, as if that would keep my headache at bay.

"I never thought he would hurt Annabelle either. Poor girl, she was crying over the phone. He spoiled Annabelle's life, your life and everyone's life. I'm going to make his life hell. That scoun-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," I snapped, not trying to control myself anymore. Clenching my hands together, I step out of my mother's embrace. "That's my husband you're talking about and I don't like anyone talking trash about him in front of me."

"Allison, he chea-" Mom starts but I interrupt her immediately.

"You don't have any right to talk about cheating," I snap. Mom flinched, tears forming in her eyes but I didn't let it get to me. "Daniel didn't cheat on you and I trust him."

"He ha-" Caniel starts but again, I don't let him continue.

"Whatever was between Daniel and Annabelle had ended since months. He's sincere to me from the very second he married me. He told me everything about Annabelle and I know what type of woman is Annabelle," I said, glaring at Caniel. "Don't you dare hurt him anymore. He deserves much better."

I don't wait for any response as I walk away to my room.

I stand on the balcony, staring at the driveway and hoping that Daniel will come with pizzas. I feel a presence beside me and I didn't have to turn my head to know who it was.

"He loves me," I mutters, tightening my grip on the railing.

"I know. I'm just surprised that it took you so long to understand," Judge replies, frowning at me.

"Why will he... love me?" The words are out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"You should ask Daniel. He's the one who loves you." Judge turns towards me, facing me completely. "I have a question for you. Why do you think he shouldn't love you? Is there anything wrong with you?"

I couldn't breathe, choked by my emotions. "I..I.."

Judge covered my hand with his. "You're educated, have a wonderful job, healthy and beautiful. Why wouldn't a guy want to be with you? Why do you think you don't deserve Daniel?"

I kept my head down. "Thomas thinks that... Daniel is better without me. I've never been in a relationship."

"Whatever has happened in your life is your past. You've never let that get into your present. Then why now? You've always pushed yourself forward despite everything then why won't you do that now? Are you afraid?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." Panic edged closer.

"Allison, stop thinking that you're not good enough for Daniel. Your parents and Ashley didn't leave you because you weren't good enough, it's because they were fools who didn't know how precious you are. Daniel wouldn't do that. He wouldn't leave you unless that's what you want."

Tears pricked at the corner of eyes. "He's adopted," I whisper, trying to hold myself back.

"I know," Judge says, shocking the hell out of me. "He told me."

My eyes widens. "When?"

"After you told him about your family. He came to meet me and he told me about him. Told me that he loves you."

"Why will he tell you that?"

"Boys secrets."

I glare at Judge, pulling my hand away from his. "I hate you."

He rolls his eyes. "I hate you more."

We glare at each other in silence but after few seconds Judge decides to break the silence.

"Every day is a gift, Allison. I don't want you to miss out on the possibility of even more in your future. Do you want to keep living a life without trusting anyone? Or do you want to start something new with someone who obviously loves you? I know it's scary. I know it's hard. But you're strong. There are people who will support you no matter what you choose. They'll love you no matter what you choose. But you need to decide how you want to live your life. Do you want to be looking back at what you've lost, or moving toward what you can create?"

I swallowed hard. "What if things don't work out between us?"

"How do any of us know?" Judge says with a chuckle. "At least you tried."

"What if he hates me and he never wants to see me again?"

"Then you get back to your life. Focus on what feels important."

"What if something terrible happens to him?" My voice cracked and my nostrils flared. "What if I lose him?"

"You can't live your life afraid of what you might lose, because then you'll never embrace everything you have to gain, and those are the memories that make it worth it."

She has given me tons of memories of cherish throughout my life. That is more than enough for me.

"I told him that I don't want divorce and he agreed."

Judge smiles. "So you're ready to live with him until the end but you're scared of falling for him."

"Will he break my heart?"

"He might," Judge said. I didn't think anything could hurt more than what I'd been through, but those words reached inside of me, plumbing the depths of my deepest fears and bringing them to life. I couldn't catch my breath. My eyes slammed shut.

"Jealousy, fear, fight and broken heart are things that come along with love. No matter how hard you try, all this definitely play a role when you love someone. But what's important is that, no matter what happens he'll love you and take care of you till the end. Won't you do the same for Daniel? He hurt you so many times, Allison but you were able to forgive him because you know him better than anyone. You know why he hurt you, you know how regretful he is, you also know that he didn't mean to hurt you. Don't hold back just because you're scared of the outcome. You never did that before so don't do that now either."

I nod my head, absorbing his words into my heart. Was I ready to make that choice? Could I handle everything that came with truly being with him? There was so much good that came with letting Daniel in. The way he looked at me, lighting my soul on fire. How his touch made it hard to breathe. 

"When are you going to tell him that you love him?"

I stare at Judge, my lips curving into a bright smile. "After he tells me how much he loves me."

Judge scowls. "He didn't tell you yet?"

I shake my head. "I heard him talking to Thomas."

Judge huffs out some air. "Always eavesdropping," he mutters under his breathe.

I chuckle, grinning at him.

"Ally," Ryan calls out. I turn around and finds Ryan standing in front of me with panicked eyes. "Daniel...h-he met with an accident."

And just like that, all my fears came true.