W A S H I N G T O N D . C .

"This is the most depressing place you could have ever brought me."

I continue my walk through the hospital halls rather reluctantly, dramatically maneuvering myself around anything that could possibly touch me. My enhancements ensure that I'm resistant to life threatening disease like cancer, but, oddly enough, I'm still prone to the common cold. And there's nothing I hate more in this whole damned world than being sick.

Nat walks like she's on a warpath. She moves with no regard to those in her way, each step assuring her steadfast dedication to fulfill whatever mission she had been given. Meanwhile, a nurse grazed my shoulder in passing and I literally shrieked.

She smirks back at the reaction before quickly loading her eyes with targeted bullets again, as if she had misplaced too much of her attention already. "This just screamed 'Welcome Home' louder than a candlelight dinner."

"You treat me so right." I murmur under my breath as she rolls her eyes, having indulged my sarcasm longer than she had time for.

"Two more wings." She reaches over to my cap to pull it farther down my face, as if she had noticed a red sniper target on my forehead. "Can you hide yourself a little better? I don't want bullets flying through the windows."

"I'm sure this place would be cheering me on. It looks like everyone here wants a premature death. Stat." She swings her arm to hit me in the stomach, causing me to fall a step behind her stride. I slightly hunch at the hit, letting out a subtle groan. "I'm kidding!"

I adjust my coat collar and take out my heavily tinted glasses as I meet back with her fast pace. It was a risk being on Earth again, let alone Washington D.C., but Natasha was uncharacteristically anxious. I have no doubt it's for good reason.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on now? I don't want to be left out of any chance to feel bad for myself."

Her eyes stay focused as we round a corner, but it was evident her mind wasn't as prioritized. I watch as her lips make attempts to part, battling with herself on whether or not to speak. At last, she let out a soundless sigh with the weight of her conscious behind it, working against herself not to choke the words back down her throat.

"He's back."

I shut my mouth. There were far too few things that could muster up so much emotion from her, and if she would ever show such distress she would make sure it were for good reason. It is true that our bullets aim for targets in our present as much as they do to those in our past, but it is just that that makes our past one of the most oppressive authorities. It rarely lets us go.

I nod, assuring her silently that there is no need to dwell on it. I could almost see a little sign of relief as she changes the focus, having regained herself back after that fleeting moment of vulnerability.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. has been compromised. A conspiracy group has been operating within the woodworks. Some members, if not most, are very high up in rank."

We round a second corner, looking over our shoulders to ensure our anonymity. Her pre-existing whisper gets softer.

"A S.H.I.E.L.D. vessel was attacked by a group of pirates a few days ago. A team of us were sent to free the hostages, and that's when it was discovered that all S.H.I.E.L.D. intelligence was stolen, wiped clean from the ships database."

"Do you have an idea of who took it?"

"I did."

"Right, of course."

She smirks, I suppose more at my unconventionally calm reaction. "Fury staged the attack so I could operate undetected. He's the first to suspect conspiracy, working alone with the exception of me and Agent Hill. It isn't clear who around us is clean or corrupt."

"He had me extract the S.H.I.E.L.D. intelligence from the ship so we would at least have possession of sensitive intel. Hopefully we can use it to find any irregularities in the data and figure out what's going on."

"That information is being hunted, making everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. or those associated to Fury a target. If Barnes--he-- is truly back, that means the group is HYDRA. HYDRA should have died years ago, but operatives are unashamedly exposing themselves now. That can't mean anything good. Whatever they have been plotting has been in the works for decades and they are not waiting any longer."

HYDRA has definitely been of concern to D.A.R.K. in the past. S.H.I.E.L.D. would send a few of us out to eliminate some members that were able to fly under the radar after the initial wipe. Their reign so to speak was assumed to already have fallen. I'm honestly surprised we weren't able to detect a greater conspiracy after those missions. Impressed, even, in their ability to build to this scale in such invisibility.

Then again, I would expect nothing less from the Winter Soldier or anyone affiliated. I have not shared more than a glance with the weapon, but it has corrupted the mind of the one closest to me enough to remain a persistent and utterly ceaseless pain in my ass for decades.

I slowly nod, running through all that is not said in my head. "So what are we doing here?"

"We need to find out what's hidden on the drive. The only one definitely clear of suspicion is Rogers. We need him."

"THE Captain America? He would be willing to help you go against your own? He wears the damn flag."

She frowns, unexpectedly defensive for him. "On the vessel mission, Rogers found me operating independently from the group. It was for his own good that he was left in the dark, but it ruined the sense of trust between us, a trust that was already fragile to begin with. Regardless, he's the only one besides Fury and Hill that knows I had the USB, but he has yet to report me to anyone."

My eyebrows raise. "Had?"

"I gave it to Fury, and I believe Fury used it to recruit Rogers on to his side." Her eyes grow a little weight. "Steve doesn't know he can trust us yet, but he needs to. Not just for my sake."

Steve

She says it so casually. Softly. Relieving his name of any conviction. Whether or not its reason can be justified by more than herself did not matter. That brief moment worries me. For the mission. For her.

She finally slows her pace until she stops in front of a vending machine, her face relaxing in solace like she had just found the holy grail.

I lean against the glass, watching her put a few quarters in. "This better trump any food we could have gotten at dinner."

Her subtle grin finally breaks the stone she had been in. "If I know him like I think I do, Rogers would want to get the flash drive off his hands before confronting any one in S.H.I.E.L.D. He wouldn't forgive himself if he let that slip and it was on his hands. Especially if he knew they were HYDRA. He's basically the reason they were taken down in the first place."

In a few seconds, downfalls a pack of gum.

And a flash drive along with it.

She grows a smooth smile for herself before taking them into her hand and turning to me. "He's a little overestimated at times."

I follow her into the vacant patient room across the hall. She keeps the lights off, opening the pack of gum to hand me a piece.

We both find our way to lie on the bed. Staring at the ceiling, I wait a few moments before ruining the silence with what she had hoped to avoid.

"Did you see him?"

She keeps her focus on the tiles, slowing her chewing from the sudden questioning.

"No."

I let the silence play out again, but ultimately decide to keep going.

"How do you know it's him?"

"He killed Fury." My eyes shoot to the side, showing me that her detached tone matches a just as cold face. "Fury was HYDRA'S main obstacle. If anyone would be able to take down that man, it would be Barnes. And they said he had a metal arm."

Her hesitation held enough weight against her to force the words from her chest.

"It's Steve now. Before they set forth with whatever they have planned, they will come after him. I guess I'm on the hit list too," Her head swings to finally meet my eyes, hoping to divert the attention, "And now you. Now you're even more screwed than you were before."

I smile fakely which she instantly acknowledges. I'm still not satisfied, or perhaps nothing has taken away any cause to worry. This situation, if I'm seeing it correctly, has an inevitable fate.

Finally, I speak again. "Steve doesn't know, does he?"

"No." She rushes the word as if his life were dependent on it, which apparently she feels fine with having the responsibility of. "I'm sure as hell not going to be the one to tell him that his best friend from 40 years ago is still alive. Worse, that I've known he's been alive. Even worse, that he's been tortured and weaponized by HYDRA themselves, not even aware of what he's doing most of the time. I don't know how he's going to react when he sees him."

"Steve isn't the one I'm worried about."

There's a long pause as we look at eachother, having hundreds of silent conversations that we would never dare say out loud.

"It won't help our unstable trust if he knows about me and Barnes." She looks to the ceiling again, resisting the urge to feel any emotion besides that needed for strategy. "It won't be hard to pretend. James was gone a long time ago. I've moved past that fact. Steve, however, won't know how to differentiate his friend from HYDRA's most deadly asset. I'd pull him off if we didn't need him so bad. He shouldn't have to go through that."

"That's so sweet of you."

She swings her arm to the side to hit me across the chest, mouth keeping a straight line. She changes the topic in a last attempt to move the conversation off of her.

"Can we finally talk about Asgard? How good is the tech? I want to make Tony cry a little."

I bite, even though I still feel like she is keeping something from me. Maybe that's a little hypocritical to say in hindsight.

I spend the next few minutes telling her of Asgard and all its golden glory, leaving out the part where it's now basically ash and almost completely leveled. I decided to keep the events of Asgard to myself. It would only cause more problems.

Maybe it was the fact that I talked about how they dress for five minutes, but eventually she somehow she caught on to my stall.

"And what about him?"

"Thor? He's doing great. He met someone from here, did you know that? Her names Jane. She's sweet--"

"You're rambling."

"Rambling?"

"You never speak this fast. And you're only this funny when you're deflecting."

I blow my gum into a bubble, smacking it loudly. I know who she really wanted to hear about. I've made an effort not to think about him since I left. I don't want to think about how much I felt when I hated him. That rage was unparalleled, nothing I've ever felt more incentivized to do. But I felt went Thor told me he was dead. It was nothing I can explain besides having felt something to such a strong degree.

I felt when I kissed him. It hurt. More than the dagger he lodged into my thigh or the feeling of the chains tightening against my wrists. The only feeling I recognized was pain. Even in his death I still hate him with even more of a passion.

Perhaps it's the fact that he's dead that makes me the most angry—That he's not giving me the opportunity to hate him more.

I take a deep breath, hoping she doesn't think there is so much weight on the words. They shouldn't be so hard to say.

"He's dead."

Her face falls in an almost worried expression..

"...Did you--"

"No, I didn't kill him." I turn my head to meet her reaction, which genuinely surprised me. "Would it have been wrong if I did?"

We share a few questionable glances before she speaks again.

"I didn't want you to if you didn't have to." It was almost soft.

We were not ones to treat each other so fragilely, but there are times where Nat would pull a trigger so I wouldn't have to. Not that It bothers me, and not because she thinks me incapable. It's safe to say a little part of her fears what I could become, and that I may not come back from it. When the opponent is great enough, I could 'snap'.

She shakes her head, telling me and her both that we shouldn't be thinking about that specifically right now. She turns almost frustrated at our previous conversation.

"He's gone not a week after his attack on New York, after we gave him our worst, and as soon as he gets to Asgard he dies?"

I lazily blow another bubble only to smack it again. "There's only one killer that works that fast and effective."

"You?"

I frown. "He sacrificed himself for his brother."

"What..the fuck?"

"That's what I was saying."

She raises to rest on her elbows, eyebrows meeting for a heated debate. "He was trying to kill him a few days ago!"

I laugh, recognizing the statement to be all too familiar. I've been working through the same thought the whole time I was there. "I don't believe it. If he really wanted to, he would have done it."

She spits out her bland gum and pops another one in, almost angry at the series of events. She shakes her head as she settles back to laying down. "Why go through the trouble?"

I shake my head. "I'm still trying to figure that out." I'm still trying to figure a lot of things out. "He's complicated--was complicated."

We lay there for only a few moments, thinking of the same situation through two different lens.

"Finally." She practically jumps out of bed, sounding almost annoyed she had to wait so long. "Steve's here. If you listen closely enough, you hear his footsteps to the tune of the star spangled banner."

I bit my lip to fight a laugh, rolling my head to face the empty wall. I haven't had a moment to myself since the bifrost.

I'm alive. That's always nice to hear. Just days ago I was chained in the very capable hands of the one person who wants me dead the most. Yet, here I am, and him no longer.

I think I'm so angry because I expected more. He basically killed himself to save his brother.

It's disgusting.

He was capable of so much more. And I wanted to see it. I want to see it. He showed me only a little, even if it was at my expense, but it was fascinating. I wanted it's presence again, that pain. That darkness in his eye. In fact, I almost craved it.

I want to see his full potential. I want to challenge it. I want to take it down. 

His ghost is just as stubborn.

To save me from my seething temper, Nat comes barging through the door, held tightly by the Captain himself. He swiftly pushes her up against a wall, not having time to notice my presence.

"Where is it?" He yells in her face, loud, but not loud enough to alert anyone outside.

"Safe."

"Do better." His eyes were pleading, but not willing to falter yet.

"Where did you get it?"

"Why would I tell you?" That gave it away to her.

"Fury gave it to you. Why?"

"What's on it?"

"I don't know."

He pushes her harder against the wall. She winces from the slight pain. "Stop lying."

"I only act like I know everything Rogers."

"But you knew Fury hired the pirates, didn't you?"

"Well, makes sense. The ship was dirty, Fury needed a way in and so do you."

He grabs her tighter. It was out of character, but this behavior seemed reserved for only her. It's like he wants her so desperately to be good, more for him than for her. "I'm not gonna ask you again."

Her face finally falls, giving him what he wants despite her own emotion. "I know who killed Fury."

There was a long silence. She did not want to say, but she was willing to compromise. It was a rare occasion that she would willingly compromise herself.

"Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists, but the ones that do call him the Winter Soldier. He's credited with other two dozen assassinations in the last 50 years."

"So he's a ghost story?"

She gives a deep, but silent inhale, finding me in the corner of her eye before quickly looking away. "Five years ago I was escorting a physicist out of Iran, somebody shot at my tires near Odessa. We lost control, went straight over a cliff, I pulled us out, but the Winter Soldier was there. I was covering my engineer, so he shot her straight through me." She pulls up her shirt to show her scar. Five years later and she's still covering me.

She continues slowly, moving her eyes to examine every detail of the Captains face, almost intrigued by any little response he gives.

"Soviet slug, no rifling. Bye-bye bikinis."

Her eyebrow raises as she smiles mischievously, suddenly changing the tone of the conversation.

"Yeah, I bet you look terrible in them now."

My jaw drops wide open. Speechless, I watched the two look at each other in silence for longer than friends do. This was what I was missing. There had to be a reason for leaving out the part where she's screwing the American Flag itself. Seems fitting enough for a Russian spy.

Her whisper brings the two of them back to reality, as they had seemed to forget where they were.

"Fill me in. I'm sure you've been hard at work."

That set me off.

"Oh my god. He literally might be right now."

Both their eyes dart towards me, giving me a few seconds to relish in my own laughter before Nat throws the flash drive at my head. I rub my head dramatically, amusing nobody but myself.

Steve pushes off of Nat and makes his way to the bed as I start to jump out of it. The look in his eye recognized me. Not only from New York, but as a rogue agent he has probably been sent to hunt down. He keeps his deathening stare on me while addressing Nat.

"Natasha, tell me you didn't enlist the help of one of the most wanted agents on Earth."

"What is with the formalities lately? You can call me Safiya." I push, picking up the flash drive in my hands.

Before Steve could make any moves, Nat steps in and puts a hand on his chest.

"She will help us. I trust her with my life, and I know my judgement means little to you right now, but I need your trust. I'm being selfish for a the higher good."

He softens after a few moments, as if her touch had been the anecdote to his stress, yet he would never voice that out loud to anyone, even himself it seems. She continues to ground him until he is completely neutralized.

"Fury trusted her, and that should be enough. She did what she had to do when something had to be done. Like us, right now." His eyes look down to meet hers. There's another silence, like the one before.

I stop my jaw from falling again. It's almost as funny as it is concerning. Of all men....

She addresses him again when he reaches a stable point. "Going after him is a dead end. I know, I've tried." Her voice quivers only slightly, just enough for me to realize. She recovers herself in less than a second. "Like you said, he's a ghost story."

I extend my arm to hand the flash drive to Steve, relieving Nat of her thoughts that could expose herself. As strong as she is, she can't talk about him for too long, even in this context.

"I'm here to help, in all seriousness. You have no reason to trust me, but I hope I can earn it."
He smiles softly, loosening up to the idea of working together. "But if Nat doesn't stop hitting me soon I might have to leave," I add.

He laughs and shakes his head slowly. "God, there's two of you." He takes the USB from my hand and tosses it in the air, letting it fall sternly in his palm. "Well, let's find out what the ghost wants."

Nat and I follow him out the door, trying our best to mask our own apprehension. Sometimes it's best a ghost stays a ghost.