My house....? Alfred wants to visit my house? That would cost so much, but he says his family can afford it fine...
     To be honest, I'm terrified about my family. They aren't the kind of person who would be okay with this kind of thing. Maybe they'd be thankful that I'm finally making friends since they always comment on that, but I also kind of feel like no matter what changes I make they'll always have something to complain about... but that's just parents, I guess.

     It will be okay, I think. I told Alfred it will be okay... I don't know if I'm just making things worse. I feel so excited for him to come here, but what am I excited for? What am I expecting to happen? It's not like he'll come here and fall in love with me, I just wish this crush would go away, it's all I can think about. I hate it so much.

     I finished up my homework around midday which is when Alfred left for his dinner, so I had nothing left to do for the rest of the day... and... of course, ended up talking to him all evening...

     It sounds ridiculous but something about him feels so different. I've been wrong about this kind of thing in the past, but never exactly this kind of thing because I've never experienced this before. I have a different kind of aura around him entirely. Not that I'm ever actually around him, but you know what I mean. Whenever I call him or even when I message him he has the warmest aura and when I talk to him it's like he actually cares about what I feel.
     Sometimes I even feel like something could actually work between us... but how the hell do I get a straight man to like me? I couldn't. God. This is too hard.

     ....But it feels kind of nice too.