Ever since I first met Alfred's mother, it felt as though he liked me more. He told me that it felt like I was a real friend to him, since his mother loves me too, according to him, which is really nice. If I'm honest, I'm not entirely used to the feeling of friendship and I'm not certain on what's normal and what isn't. I suppose that parents don't have to get along with their children's friends but it would make it a whole lot better if they did.

     Which is why I think Alfred is so comfortable with me. I feel as though he can tell me anything and be incredibly open with me without thinking anything of it. Although I can't relate to that, he is aware that's nothing to do with what I think of him, just more so what I think of myself. I severely lack confidence, but he seems to make me feel at least a little better about myself...

     It was getting late on a Sunday evening. I had school the next day; my attendance has raised significantly since I've actively been speaking to Alfred. Although I don't enjoy school any more than I did beforehand, my focus and my mindset has began to change whilst I'm there. Instead of constantly thinking about how I wanted to go home because I hated everybody around me, my mindset changed to wanting to go home because I wanted to speak to Alfred so badly.
     I've never told anybody in person about Alfred, with an exception to my father. Although he's never personally spoken to Alfred, he once told me that he's never seen me happier than when I talk about him. I guess he's understanding of the fact I finally have a best friend.

     As I had to get ready for bed before school, I decided to check my phone one more time before changing for bed. Although, the last thing I expected was the weird message that I had received.
     "Artie I know it's almost 10 where u are but I need to ask you something. what do u think of gay relationships? there's a reason I'm asking but I wanna know ur opinion before I explain"

     Uh, what?

     One of the only things that still made me nervous anymore when it comes to my friendship with Alfred is what he'd think of my sexuality. I've come face-to-face with many homophobic comments before, but I know for a fact that if he was to make fun of me for it it would hurt me so much more than any of the others I've experienced. There have been a few nights where I'd sit up in bed in complete silence, panicking over the mere thought of him being homophobic. I can stand other people's opinion but not him. Anything but him.

     As you would imagine, getting a message like this made my heart sink the second I read it. What if the reason he's asking is because he wants someone to laugh and joke about it with? Or what if he's genuinely considering that I'm gay and this is his way of asking?
     ....What if he's gay?

     These are ridiculous thoughts to be having when I should be going to sleep, but I simply had to reply now. I didn't want to postpone this conversation, otherwise I might not be able to change the subject and speak to him again until it was cleared out. The thought of not being able to talk to him teared at my heart, it always had; ever since I first met him.

     My response was as subtle and as mere as possible. Obviously I had to open up to him about my sexuality as some point, and it was likely going to be during this conversation. Of course I knew that already. However, it was terrifying to imagine the conversation and its different outcomes. I'd never confessed my sexuality to anybody before, not even my father, who I'm really close to. I've been aware of it since I was 11, but I never had the need to tell anybody. Then again, I suppose I should never pretend it doesn't exist either.

     "That's an odd question to ask me out of the blue. I don't have a problem with homosexual couples at all. In fact, I understand how hard it is for them," was my response. There's no way that he could possibly read this and not catch on that it applies for me too... nobody is that oblivious.