“Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.”
— Oscar Wilde

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Namjoon anxiously sat down as soon as everyone was present in the room.

“Hyung! I'm sorry but I need to tell you this, Jimin isn't well enough to go to a reality show. And above that, alone.” His words made the line of managers, producers, sponsors, and staff sigh exasperated and they turned to look at Bang PD altogether.

The older almost slapped his forehead loud and clear, “We had this conversation before, Namjoon.”

“We did, but Jimin is taking too much load for this.” Jungkook stood up.

Yoongi, “Yes, he had a panic attack. And to be specific, after years! Just because of this shenanigans.”

Jimin was not invited to the meeting but that didn't stop him from eavesdropping. He hated himself for showing so much vulnerability in front of them. He wondered why he was even making all this that big of a mess, it was just work.

He was being selfish, that's all he knew. Just a vacation, wasn't it? Why bother anyone? He thought he was being a burden by saying no again and again.

“Just a few months, can't I survive that?” Mumbling, his fingers tightened around the file he was holding, it was the contract for the reality show he had received yesterday. He stared at Yoongi through the glass panel who was constantly tapping his foot on the ground.

Taehyung was not there, he was supposed to be in the dorms with Jimin. And Jimin knew he'd panic the moment he'd get out of the shower and see Jimin gone.

He spared himself a moment to catch up to his courage and shook his shoulders to ease the tension. He knew he needed to look as convincingly happy as possible.

‘Come on, Jimin. Man up.’

And without a second thought, he knocked on the door and entered before anyone could question.

“What happened? I thought you were taking the day off?” A staff member asked.

“Is everything alright?” Even though Namjoon tried his very best to sound professional, Jimin knew he was worried as hell. So he smiled, a genuine smile.

“Yeah, I just came to deliver this.” He handed over the file to Bang Si-Hyuk and sat on the chair a staff member was signaling him to sit on.

“I read the contract, it's great. I've signed it too, You can proceed with the other arrangements. I'd like to visit at least ten days prior if you don't mind, I've a list of things I would like to see in London.”

Jungkook was looking at him flabbergasted, Jimin chuckled and sacked his head lightly.

“What's wrong?”

“You're surely kidding.”

“About what? We talked about the contract, didn't we? And I thought about it, I should go. Who says no to a free vacation?” Jimin made a face that said ‘Even the thought horrifies me.’

“Did you fall off your bed last night?”

Jimin just shrugged and got up, “I'll get going, I haven't notified Taehyung about me going out.”

And before anyone could throw another question at him, he left with as long steps as he could take without anyone telling that he was running away.

❈❈❈

Last night.

Jimin was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling. There was a small dreamcatcher hanging from it, he remembered the fan who had gifted him that years ago, wishing him luck and a regret-free long life.

Not long ago he was pacing in front of Namjoon's room, listening to the members talking about him. The regret and disappointment in their voice had him retching in the bathroom for a while. He felt awful, simply worthless.

He had made them so upset, those were not his intentions but it had indeed caused them trouble. All they were asking of him was a vacation and a little work, he had been through worse so why was this such a big deal?

He felt terrible and placed his arm over his eyes, trying to block his sight of the outside world. He heard the soft creak of his room's door and footsteps approaching him.

He knew the familiar sound but didn't bother removing the arm on his eyes, his eyes were trickling with tears and he didn't want to face the man like that.

“Jimin?”

He hummed in response.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes, what will h-happen to me, Tae?” He cursed himself inside after hearing the crack in his voice.

Thankfully, Taehyung didn't choose to dwell on it. Jimin felt the side of his bed dip, so he shifted to make room for Taehyung. To his surprise, Taehyung removed his hand from his face, turned him over and hugged his head.

“Cry it out.” Those words were enough for Jimin, and tears started streaming down. He hugged him back, hiding his face in his best friend's arms. Taehyung simply rubbed his back, didn't try to stop him or console him with words, just kept murmuring, “It’s ok. Let it out.”

His deep voice was healing and anchoring him to reality at the very same time.

It was almost dawn by the time Jimin came around, breathing normal and calm. Taehyung sat up, patting the bed for him to get up too. Jimin had his head hung low as he sat back up, Taehyung tapped his knee asking him to look at him.

“You don't need to feel guilty. Panic attacks are normal, a lot of people deal with them. Minor or major, doesn't matter,” Taehyung assured.

“You don't need to feel guilty for denying something you didn't feel comfortable doing.” He placed both hands on Jimin's shoulders, patting them heavily, “Jimin, I'm not saying this to make you feel better, but because it is the truth.”

“Tae—”

“No, you’ll not apologize for something so insignificant.”

Jimin just stared at him and Taehyung stared back at him with the same intensity as his words. That was when Jimin noticed the tear streaks on Taehyung’s cheek.

He was crying with him, because of him.

Jimin smiled, a genuine smile this time. Making up his mind already.

“I'll go.”

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a/n:
we're very close to the beginning of jimin actually meeting asher. how do you feel?