"It's okay to feel it all.
It's okay to feel half.
or nothing at all.
The moon isn't always full."
- v e n t u m

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The room was filled with people chattering continuously, some were busy noting down plans and some were busy presenting them. The clear glass before them was already jet packed with notes and markings, no place to write anything else . . . just like Jimin's mind. His thoughts were turning into a haunting theatre play at this point.

He felt like there was something stuck in his throat, it was itchy, and no matter what he drank, it just stayed put.

"The base plan of the show is a medieval fantasy. There are going to be balls and parties and interviews where you're going to roleplay as a beloved prince charming," a girl quite older than him remarked from the other end of the table, her bangs bouncing with every shake of her head.

"That's no big deal, he's already a beloved charming prince," Jungkook winked at Jimin to maybe lighten the mood and make it fun, but Jimin felt his heart tightening even more. The pressure squeezing at his insides, taking him as oranges and trying to squeeze out a glass of juice from a single little orange.

All of them chuckled heartily and Jimin felt even more restless until a hand clasped on his knee, squeezing assuringly. He looked up to meet two brown eyes staring down at him with a familiar warmth - Taehyung.

"You okay?" Taehyung mouthed and Jimin just nodded, not daring to look into his eyes.

"The show starts airing in early July so the shooting will start in March. Charlie Blackwood, you must have heard the name?" the girl continued, "The invitation, the venue to the sponsors, everything starts from him."

"According to the terms, the show promises to keep everything that paints the artist in a wrong light away from the limelight. From the designing team to the editing team, everyone will sign an NDA to protect the artists' information that's not supposed to be for the people on the other side of the curtain," she concluded, marking everything intently with a highlighter.

"That's a thing I've heard for the first time! A reality TV show having such terms and promises? You sure there's no hidden scheme?" Namjoon narrowed his eyebrows, a pen twirling between his lean fingers.

"Truly, them being this considerate with Asian people is quite off . . ." Yoongi added in and the girl clicked her pen, turning her full attention to the presentation in front of them.

"The idea itself is a diverse one, they want to gather different people with different interests and show the one balance of humanity within."

"Sounds great but are you sure there aren't any background schemes? It can end up in a very bad engagement. Even though the idea itself is pretty unique, it's new too," the oldest - Seokjin - looked satisfied yet suspicious, his eyebrows were knitted down and his cheekbones stuck out.

"It's a game of trust, Hyung. Everyone's signing an NDA, and there are strict words against non-consented filming. If anything goes wrong, the contract fully allows us to sue them," Hoseok suggested resting his hand on the table.

"I've heard Mr Blackwood's name, he's a legend," Yoongi clicked his tongue.

"Even though I've no trust in them, I guess we should give it a try. We've tried finding flaws in the contract from every possible way after all," he shrugged, his forehead stretching up with his raised eyebrows.

"I searched, there's rare media coverage of his family. But they look Asian to me . . . His wife is Korean, they say," the youngest remarked, sliding his cell phone over the table for others to see.

Jimin wasn't interested, so he kept his head down. No matter what, he had no good reasons left to deny the situation. So, instead of forcing his way out, he started taking deep breaths and worked on accepting his fate.

❈❈❈

The meeting had ended quite a while ago. It was decided that Jimin would leave early after the recordings at the end of this month without any public announcements and with a limited staff to enjoy his vacation in London.

He wasn't sure about the enjoying part, however, he couldn't do anything but nod.

They were in their personal boardroom and everyone was almost done with their work. It was late afternoon and he could sense his stomach churning with hunger. He had left early in the morning and had skipped breakfast, the last meal he ate was the pasta Taehyung fed him and it had started to take a toll on his head now.

He was a very good eater and he really did take care of his health but these recent days, his appetite was just lost like Alice in Wonderland. Most of the time, it was Taehyung who came to him or Jin and Yoongi forcing him to sit and eat with all of them.

He sighed and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the grumbling in his stomach but before he could shake it off his face, a warm hand landed on his forehead. He craned his head to meet two dark brown orbs looking down at him with a rather concern-filled expression.

Yoongi, "You're burning, Jimin!"

Jimin could feel long drops of sweat running down his spine, his scalp felt scratchy and his eyes felt heavy. His ears were ringing, he was ignoring them for a long time thinking maybe he just needed to eat but when Yoongi's warm fingertips passed through his hairline, he shivered - leaning into the comfort of his touch.

"You look so pale, when was the last time you ate? Did you ditch your medicine? Are you cold?" the older bombarded him with questions like arrows on a battlefield and Jimin was failing to decipher any word or direction of it.

Taehyung jumped on his feet and stumbled even though he was nearly three to four steps away from him. His long warm hand covered Jimin's wrist who had no idea what he did next but he heard his deep voice near his left ear, soothingly whispering something, but all he could make out was . . .

"Are you cold?"

And Jimin just nodded.

The long jacket shrug he had seen Taehyung wearing this morning was draped onto his shoulders. Jimin felt his lips quivering and the ringing in his ear got louder and louder.

"Yoongi Hyung, can you get him a blanket," it wasn't a question but a loud and clear command, Taehyung's deep voice sounded deeper with concern. He had his arms around Jimin's shoulder and his fingers kept rubbing patterned circles on Jimin's neck, below his ear, and near his pulse.

"Jungkook, get him something to eat!" the youngest was already on his feet and was grabbing his jacket, "Something mild but filling."

Hoseok, "I'll go with him."

Taehyung nodded and the older ran to catch up with the other. Yoongi had rested the blanket on the table and was kneeling, his hands busy with the younger's shoes - careful with his left leg.

Jimin shuddered, his fingers twitching in Taehyung's jacket, his eyes rolled back and his breath hitched. Taehyung's fingers started drumming harder on his pulse but the panic in his eyes was more than heavy,

Yoongi stood up hurriedly, "Jimin? Can you hear me?" he leaned onto his other ear, his voice lowering down.

"Joon, Ice water." he softly signalled the younger and clutched Taehyung's hand assuringly, silently telling him to stay calm.

Jin was already out on his own to get water and except for Jimin's heavy breathing and Yoongi and Taehyung's low voice, there was no other sound present in the room.

Yoongi, "It's okay Jimin, take deep breaths, inhale, and exhale with me."

"Inhale."

"Exhale," his hand rested on Jimin's shoulder blades pressing in a manner that said, 'I'm here, don't be afraid.' He repeated the same words again and again and after a while, Jimin followed, slowly but steadily.

Taehyung, "Jimin, it's okay, it's all right. Everything will pass, come on, look at me."

Yoongi, "We'll get through this together, alright? Come on, Jimin. Breathe and slowly open your eyes."

Small drops of sweat were covering Jimin's neck and his pulse was drumming under Taehyung's fingertips but he kept rubbing circles near it - two small with the index and middle finger and then five large ones with the thumb. It had been a while since Taehyung had done that but it used to help.

His fingers were getting flimsy, feeling the pressure of Jimin's pulse under them but he just couldn't lose it at that moment. So, he started talking with anything that came into his mind first.

"Take my name if you hear me, Jimin-ah."

"Taehyung-ah," Jimin repeated and gulped, swallowing hard to aid his itching throat.

"Yes, just like that. Come on, count with us."

Taehyung, "1."

Yoongi, "2."

Jimin, "3."

"4."

"5."

"6."

"7."

"8."

"9."

"10."

Yoongi, "Good. Now, slowly take a deep breath and try opening your eyes."

Jimin swallowed, his breath flimsy. The echo of their voices in his head was like an anchor to his ship caught up in a storm. He inhaled slowly imagining the ship getting pulled by on the shore, his pulse calmed and he shivered.

Taehyung, "You're doing great, come on, open your eyes."

Jimin heaved out a breath, and slowly peeled open his eyes.

Yoongi, "Good. Come on, let's sort through this together, shall we?" he smiled softly patting his knee.

Jimin nodded.

"Name three things you see."

"Table, Blanket," he sighed, his gaze roaming around lazily, "Lights."

Taehyung patted his back, his fingers still making the same pattern but now, on his back.

"Three sounds you hear."

"You, Yoongi Hyung . . . footsteps," the very moment they saw Jin coming in, the older's breath was heavy and he was panting loudly. He rested the warm bottle of water near them and sat down a little far, his gaze intently on Jimin.

Yoongi, "Try moving your fingers first, then your arm, and then your ankle."

Jimin slowly felt the muscles of his fingers tightening and then relaxing. He did the same with his arms, he took a deep breath and slowly started moving his right leg's ankle. Taehyung was cradling his left leg, making sure to not put any pressure on it.

"It's alright, that's great," Yoongi's voice was always close to him, continuously assuring him and validating his problems. He made sure Jimin realized it was temporary and he was alright.

Taehyung's drumming fingers were a pattern to make him feel that he was close to him, that Jimin was not alone. An anchor to make him distracted from the future and realize his presence.

Anxiety is a future-oriented state of mind, the person's mind wavers and gets so absorbed in the future named storm that they forget that the present is a sunny day.

Taehyung's and Yoongi's hearts were tightening inside when they saw Jimin in that state but the awareness of the present was what the other needed to reel himself back.

Panic attacks often feel like a dead-end like the person is having a heart attack, and they lose control of the present.

At that time, it was really necessary to break Jimin's chain of thoughts, and then asking if he could hear him, to name things he saw and heard was a way to create a barrier between his thoughts and actions.

Yoongi's hand went back to his forehead, and Jimin was still burning.

"Drink this sip by sip, take your time," he smiled, handing Jimin the glass of water Jin got.

"Food, everyone!" the youngest chimed from the door, Hoseok and Namjoon right behind him - waiting for him to move.

No one asked anything after that, it was just Taehyung pressing a cold wet towel on Jimin's forehead and the others making cheerful comments to lighten up the mood. They ate peacefully without stirring up any conversation that felt heavy.

Jimin kept his head down over his porridge, and Taehyung stayed silent with just a smile on his face to not make it weird.

Namjoon's face was stern, his gaze passed on to everyone and they knew they all needed to talk.

They needed to talk about Jimin.

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a/n:
this update took longer than expected, so sorry! have quite a lot on my plate rn :( anyways, how was the chapter? keep voting and commenting💜