Humans in general don't like to admit that there is something different about them. Though being different from others is not easy, one of the hardest things to do, is admitting that to oneself. So what happens, when there is a need to be accepted... Accepted by the one who means the most, one who matters the most. 

What should one do then? Should one continue to ignore the fact that he or she is different? Or should one admit it, and risk losing what is precious. 

What if there is more at stake than just being accepted? What if the consequences have the power to destroy that, which one has spent years building? 

Now you guys are wondering why I am going on about being different. You may also be wondering are things going to take a turn for the worse?... 

Well, maybe... maybe not 🤷‍♀

But trust me, my ramblings will make sense. 👍

Now, if you guys are thinking, how is it that Zhan has not realized that something is wrong with him, then let me tell you that he knows. He too has noticed that there are things he can not explain. 

Things like: why does his heart beat faster when YiBo is around?; Why did he not like it when the doctor was touching YiBo?; why when YiBo had kissed him just hours ago had his heart thumped?; why had Zhan not been able to remember asking Yibo to do method acting?

 Apart from these, there had been other instances too when Zhan had not been able to remember what he had been doing? All he knew was that things like this had happened, when he was with YiBo, relatively alone. 

Xiao Zhan closes the door and finds Yibo on the floor.

"Bo di, what happened?" The older man asks, helping his bro, *who he is crushing on*, up.

"After Hy.. after Dr. Kim left, I tried to get dressed but tripped over this bag strap," Yibo explains, pointing at the culprit... Xiao Zhan's backpack strap.

"I am sorry, Bo di," Xiao Zhan sits the younger man on the bed, "Does it hurt a lot?"

"No, it's better now." YiBo points at his shoulder and explains, "He said that I need to be careful for the next few days. I must wear the wrap around it for at least four more days."

Zhan takes a deep breath, "I will inform Jiejie."

"Thank you, Zhan ge."

'He is so beautiful....No... I mean yes...I mean no... Damn it, I am fucked!' Zhan gulps, nods, and looks around the room.

'Why is the bed so messy?' He wonders, picking up the shirt and dumping it in the laundry basket. 

 "Zhan ge..." YiBo hesitates before continuing, "Wei Ying, why did you... "

Zhan, in the meanwhile, opens Yibo's wardrobe and pulls out a formal shirt, "A shirt is easier to get in and out of, in your condition." He suggests and assists YiBo in wearing it.

Zhan's brows knit in concentration, for try as he may, he can't remember what he had been doing after the initial awkward conversation with the doctor.

"Bo di, about doctor Kim... how do you know him?" Zhan asks casually, fixing the messy sheets on YiBo's bed. 'Looks like someone played on it.' Zhan concludes.

"Zhan ge, he is my..." YiBo starts to reply when there is a knock on the door.

A flicker of irritation crosses Zhan's features but before Yibo can notice it, it's gone. He turns to YiBo and smiles formally, "I will take care of it. Rest now, YiBo Laushi."

It takes a moment for YiBo to realize that Zhan ge is back to normal.

"Shijie!" Xiao Zhan exclaims, inviting her inside.

She gives a polite nod, "Jiejie is asking how Hanguang Jun is doing?" Yanli asks, without entering.

"He needs to wear the bandage for a few days. The doc said that it will take him roughly four days to heal." Zhan informs.

Yanli directs a comforting smile towards Zhan, "A Xian, I know that you don't need to be told what to do. Jiejie had guessed as much, and has asked you to stay with YiBo and practice your scenes and lines."

Both the men nod, and Yanli continues, "Since Jiejie wants Hanguang Jun to recover faster, she wants all his needs to be taken care of, by you, A Xian."

The water bottle that Zhan had just brought to his lips almost slips from his hands at Yanli's words, while YiBo coughs and winces at the pain the cough induced bodily movement had caused.

Looking at the boys' surprised expressions, Yanli chuckles, "A Xian, you need to bring all Hanguang Jun's meals to him, and help him in his day to day activities. Moreover, since Hanguang Jun has the most lines with you, Jiejie wants you to practice together. Every day, for an hour or so, a voice and an etiquette coach will come here to prepare you for your roles."

The boys nod and with a kind smile directed at YiBo, the girl with a heart of gold, leaves.

"Lan Zhan..." Xiao Zhan starts and catches his co-star's eyes, "Yibo Laushi, I know that it may be a wrong time to tell you this, but there is something I have been meaning to tell you."

YiBo nods and holds Zhan's gaze, "Zhan ge, please go ahead."

"YiBo Laushi, " Zhan starts but YiBo interrupts, "Zhan ge, please call me Bo di or YiBo or Didi."

Zhan nods, "Bo di, since the past few days, things have been a little hard... It feels like I am losing time. But it seems to be happening when we are alone together."

Yibo's face heats up, "Zhan ge... " He starts, but Zhan holds up a hand and continues, "Please, let me finish."

Remember the rant at the beginning of the chapter, yes the one about coming out... Not that coming out... OK maybe that too... 

*Damn it! I had promised myself that I will not sound like a crackpot... But maybe, the powers that be, don't want that*

BTW, shout-out to the person who called me a crack head... You are not wrong. 👍

YiBo nods and gives Zhan another reassuring smile.

"Bo di, what I am about to tell you is of a very sensitive nature." Zhan's hand moves over his heart, "I don't know why am I even telling you this... Just.. You don't have to..." Zhan stutters and purses his lips together. He closes his eyes and tears roll down his cheeks.

"Zhan ge..." YiBo whispers. He puts a hand over Zhan's and gives it a light squeeze. Their eyes meet, "Zhan ge, trust me, I will stand by you, no matter what."

Zhan chuckles mirthlessly, "Bo di, after what I am about to tell you, all I can hope for, is for you to continue treating me as you would a co-star... I hope..." Zhan trails off and shakes his head as if to clear his mind.

"Bo di, since the last few days, not only have I been losing time, I have been feeling... " Zhan breaks the eye contact and looks at the floor, "I have been feeling drawn to you."

YiBo gulps.

Zhan chuckles again, "I think I am stressed... Bo di, I think...Did I... " Zhan bites his lips as color rises to his cheeks and the hand on his heart clutches the fabric of his shirt, "Bo di, did I do anything inappropriate in the past few days?" Zhan blurts out.

'How much does he remember? Why is he suddenly asking this? What is he planning to do?' Yibo wonders.

"Bo Di?" Zhan calls, pulling the younger man out of his thoughts.

"Zhan ge, what do you mean by inappropriate?" YiBo fringes ignorance.

Zhan's face goes a shade darker, "Did I touch you inappropriately or kiss you or... Did I take advantage of you? Did I do something against your...your consent?" Zhan blurts out once again.

"Zhan ge," Yibo says softly, making the older man look into his eyes, "You have never done anything that did not have my consent." YiBo holds Zhan's gaze and questions, "Zhan ge, why am I getting the feeling that you think that you have wronged me?"

'Does he remember everything we did... that I did....the times I kissed him... the times we messed around when he was not himself... Does he want me to confess all the times I have taken what I wanted?' YiBo wonders and his face falls.

'Just as I had expected, he can't accept that I have feelings for him... I can't let the way I feel for him, mess up our professional relationship.' Zhan decides and shakes his head. He schools his features into a smirk and winks.

YiBo tilts his eyes, "Zhan ge?"

The older man looks into the younger's worried concerned face for a few seconds. 'We have to work closely for the next few months...This is not the right time to bring up how I feel for him.'

"YiBo Laushi, I am sorry for having worried you. I was just kidding." Zhan snorts and bursts out laughing.

YiBo blinks a couple of times, 'Is he fucking kidding rt now!? Is he scared that I will reject him? Is he scared that it will affect our professional relationship?... Zhan ge, WTF is going on with you!?'

"Zhan ge, you are not making any sense." YiBo snaps.

Zhan lies again, "I made up all of it up, YiBo Laushi."

When YiBo looks at him questioningly, Zhan contemplates if he should confess like he had planned.

But since it's a story about two dumb fucks and Zhan is one of them, he chickens out. 

Thinking fast, he comes up with a plausible excuse, "YiBo Laushi has accused me of homophobia several times, I was just wondering if you are all words or are you truly ok with your co-star being gay."

If there would have been a wall in front of Yibo's forehead, or if he would not already be injured, the rapper thinks that he would have injured himself, at the level of dumbness his BAE was displaying presently. 

*Yes, I am aware that the above sentence is messy, so please read it again to understand how YiBo is feeling at this very moment.*

YiBo is pissed, "Zhan ge, what do you think you are doing right now!?" He snaps.

Zhan stops laughing abruptly, 'Fuck he is hot when he is angry... Wait... why am I thinking about his hotness rt now!?' Zhan shakes his head.

YiBo pulls Zhan towards himself, "Do you think being attracted to a man is a joke, Zhan ge?"

Zhan shakes his head.

YiBo leans closer, "What if I was in love with you? How do you think I would have felt when you almost told me that you are attracted to me?"

"YiBo Laushi... " Zhan starts but trails off.

Xiao Zhan had indeed not thought about these things. He looks back at what he had said and how he had acted. Zhan recalls how considerate YiBo had been, and he feels guilty. He drops his eyes to the floor.

YiBo lets go of Zhan's hand and lifts his chin, "Zhan ge, you need to be punished."

Zhan feels like a lighting has struck him. The intensity of Yibo's gaze makes him tremble... Tremble with what exactly, even Zhan doesn't know.

*You are trembling with desires to push his rock hard abs into the sheets and have your way with him, you dummy!*

Zhan gulps. 'I will do something stupid if I don't pull out.'

*Zhan is talking about pulling himself out of this situation... guys, seriously!*

YiBo continues, "How would you like to be punished, Zhan ge?" YiBo smirks, he can see the wheels in Zhan's brain turning, he can almost hear Zhan's heart racing.

"Zhan ge, I don't think you respect the LGBT community." YiBo accuses.

Zhan's eyes widened and he shakes his head. "That's not true!"

Of course our boy is respectful of them, and YiBo knows it too, but he wants to get back at Zhan, he wants to make him confess, so he continues to interrogate Zhan. 

Yibo's next words are an octave lower.. their tone deeper...almost seductive, "Zhan ge, your words say one thing, but your actions say another...And actions speak louder than words. Zhan ge, tell me which to believe?"

YiBo is close now. Their breaths mingle. Zhan is but human, "Punish me." He blurts out.

'Kiss me.' Zhan's mind screams, and his eyes get drawn to YiBo's slightly parted lips. 

F'¥_£>}\]'_%'~\®€€£|βα~•¥£K!
*not a typing error*

YiBo thinks and smirks, before enquiring seductively, "And how do you suggest I do that, Zhan ge?"

{Note :- That's it for today's update guys.

Please take a moment to read this 👇
It's not very long, I promise.
So, I was thinking of ending this fic after the next two updates. No, not because I don't have ideas or have a writer's block, I want to end it because I don't think many would want or care if I end it 🤷‍♀

Because the truth is, it's much harder (no pun intended) to write this fic than my other stories. And if it's not serving its purpose then it might as well end.

If I do end it, I will write a sequel to this or something like this in the future after all my present books are complete.

Your votes and comments let me know that you still love and support this fic, and want me to continue.

Thank you for reading.
Have a nice day.}