I spent the next week alone after David left.

I watched every sunrise and every sunset, and looked up at the starts every single night. It was a way to clear my mind, but what I was trying to do, was look for a sign.

Some sort of sign to tell me that everything was going to work out, and that everything would be okay. I was hoping for something to let me know that I would be fine.

But I found nothing. I spent days and days searching for something that never came, so I stopped looking. 

When I awoke one morning at about 6 AM, all I could hear was the birds outside singing away as a golden glow shone in through the window. I tried to fall back asleep, but sleep was impossible when I became wide awake.

I got out of bed and slowly paced myself into the living room that was quickly lighting up from the sun. I tied my hair into a bun and started to shuffle through the pile records that were on the table.

And what did I decide to play? Imagine by John Lennon.

As soon as I put the record on the player, I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. The warming piano riff of the infamous song brought me back to a time where everything was perfect. It reminded me of when I played the album for the first time at Courtney’s flat when we were planning my wedding.

I smiled. The memory is so vivid, like it happened yesterday. But everything can change as quickly as night and day and there isn’t anything to stop time from passing by.

I opened the back door and looked out at the sun rising up from the trees and from the hills. It truly was amazing.

Maybe it was the way the clouds were forming around the sun, or how pretty the morning sky looked… or maybe it was the birds flying freely in the sky or the beautiful music playing out of the record player, but either way, I finally felt at ease with myself.

I packed my things and headed back into London. Although I was feeling relaxed, my relationship with David still had tension and that was something we both needed to work on. We never did recover from that argument.

But unfortunately when I got there, he was out- probably at the studio. I unpacked my things and got cleaned up.

I only had to wait around for a little bit before David got home.

“You’re back a lot sooner than I thought you would be.” He piped. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling fine.” I smiled.

He returned the smile shyly and walked over to the couch where he plopped himself down and let out a deep sigh.

“I missed you.” He said plainly.

I had a weird feeling, the kind you get when you’re nervous, and I wasn’t sure why. I knew that David and I were quite distant from each other, but the fact that it was that evident, put a knife through me.

“Want to do something tonight?” I asked, sounding as cheery as I could.

He had his arm draped over his face. “The guys are going out to a club tonight, if you wanna come.”

Not what I was hoping for, but at least it was something.

“What time?”

He groaned tiredly. “Doesn’t matter. We’ll go when we want to go.”

I didn’t want to bother him with any more questions, so I left him to be by himself for a while. Despite David being so emotionless that night, I still held on to all the happiness I’ve obtained while away.

—

“What is it?” I asked as I looked at the shot glass on the table in front of me. I brought it up to my nose to smell it and practically gaged.

Roger laughed. “It’s tequila.”

“Holy shit.” I mumbled. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“Don’t be a wimp,” He challenged with a smirk.

I squinted my eyes at him and let out a light chuckle before setting the shot glass back on the table. The club was extremely loud and filled with people.

“Okay, ready?” He asked.

Before I could oppose, he counted down from 3 and we both tossed back the fiery shot that burned down my throat. I couldn’t help but cough and my eyes watered.

“Wasn’t that bad.” He teased.

“Fuck you, Roger.” I joked. I looked around the table and David was talking away with Rick and Nick.

And like I’ve said before, Roger was like an older brother to me. I will admit, he was mean to me sometimes, but deep down he was a great person to be around.

I never got the chance to really talk to him for a while, and this was the perfect opportunity.

The other 3 joined in on our conversation, luckily before we started talking about serious things. I went to move my arm and accidently hit David’s beer and it spilled everywhere.

What a fucking surprise. It’s not a party unless I do something embarrassing.

“Christ sakes.” He muttered angrily.

We both got up and went to go grab paper towel to clean it up.

“You go sit down, I’ll get it.” I told him.

“No, you’ll probably spill more drinks along the way.” He snapped.

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at him. He stopped and turned back to look at me confusedly.

“What?”

“Why the hell are you acting like such an asshole tonight?” I questioned rudely, meaning to.

He walked in close. “I’m an asshole?”

“Ever since I got home you haven’t exactly been a joy to be around. Fuck, I should have just stayed at the farm.”

“If you want to go back, then go." 

I stared at him in disbelief. He sounded so cold towards me- I’ve never seen him like that before. “This is what I mean! What the hell has gotten into you?!”

He turned to go get the paper towels. I’m sure the drink was probably all over the floor by then anyway.

“Fine, see you at home then.” I shouted before storming off.

I walked past the table and Rick tried to say something but I was headed for the door.

And I hoped that David would come home soon so we could fix everything between us. But how much can be fixed after reaching the breaking point?