Jivika~

22nd July 2020

I scrolled through the pictures of our yesterday's hangout, simultaneously pressing the blank heart to make it pink at once, resulting in me 'liking' Rhea's latest post.

Yesterday was so much fun.

As my phone beeped on the 1% charge warning, I knocked myself off my bed, crashing my knee on the shelf nearby but victorious in plugging the phone before it switched off. Glancing up at the old vintage clock hung against the 'Harry Potter' poster on the wall, I realized that I had been scrolling through my feed for more than an hour.

The pandemic had resulted in our visa's getting cancelled.

But now that the situation was better they got renewed. Results were declared, and we did not waste another second to book our tickets. The results were good—a whooping 93 percent. And yes, I would be leaving tomorrow around this time. Around six.

The packing was more or less done, I mean we were not packing everything away. Our flat was still going to be here cause Ma had taken leave for just two years, and then she would've to come back.

Hence we had our ceremonial day out yesterday. All seven of us. The usual. Movies, malls and heavenly food. And tomorrow Kiara will be there to drop me off at the airport. Maybe Lavanya might also tag along.

I told you right? Won't find another one like her, Kiara.

Having nothing to do except watching my phone recharge, I decided to head out for a bit, to clear my mind. Armed with a mask and hand sanitizer even if the norms were relaxed, I informed my mother and walked away, cushioning my feet in those blue sport shoes.

Greeting Archana auntie with a 'Namastey', I walked out of the building, not bothering to look back to see the sight of the hawk eyes of that nosy lady.

Sad reality, she was also a teacher in our school.

Walking into the park nearby, I spotted the Momo waale uncle (Dumpling seller) and quickly headed towards my destination.

"Uncle, ek plate paneer momo!" I said, handing over the money, not bothering about the change, as I took a glimpse of those steaming delights.
[Uncle, one plate Paneer dumpling!]

"Ek aur!"
[One more!]

I was not surprised, not at all. Life had given me enough surprises that I've understood the whole phenomenon. The person took his plate and walked away, before he stopped.

"Chale?"
[Let's go?]

"You want to sit there Tili? Under a tree? Where the birds who have no control over their digestive system's sit?" I spitted out, feigning agony over his choice. A victim of the digestion problems of pigeons, I had learnt my lesson.

"Would you rather walk around a park where your Archana auntie might see you?" he countered, knowing the answer beforehand. Watching me stumped, we walked towards the bench, settling down just in time to see the sun nestled against the Western Ghats. The Banyan tree had long roots which hung from above, shielding us away from the rest of the population present in Tulips Society Children's Park.

The orange hue basked our faces as I watched those elderly people bent over and laugh, their everyday Yoga drill. Smiling, I offered him a single Momo. He nodded in negative, pointing at his own untouched plate.

"Come one, one from mine won't hurt you Amaan."

"I know that you just wanna do the same thing you did with me ten years ago. Hah! Tempt me with a Cadbury and then walk away. I'm prepared this time, I won't fall into that trap again!"

He was not the innocent Amaan he used to be. But neither was I the Gullu I used to be, right?

"So, how come you're here?" I asked, believing that every time we met, it couldn't be a coincidence.

"Coincidence!" he said, shrugging loftily.

Not believing his words, I asked, "Really?". Knowing that it was not in his character to skip a gully cricket match which should've been taking place right now. Stuttering he took his own sweet time, gobbled up two of his Dumplings and then replied.

"Uh ... no."

Asking him to continue, he started again, "Your girls send me a message that you would be here."

Ah. Right. So it was their handiwork.

"You mean threatened?" I asked, knowing them too well.

"Well, yes."

"Right," I grinned. "And?" I asked, in an attempt to pick up the conversation. Setting the plate down he replied facing me, "You know, you still haven't given me a reply!"

"What reply?"

"Fine. I'll say it again. I like you."

"Everyone likes me!" I said, stating the obvious.

"Yaar!"

Enjoying his change of expressions, I wiped the bit of sauce tickling down my lips to give him the final answer. The right answer. The one which he would have been dying to hear.

"Ditto."

Five seconds later, he looked up. The smile turned into a scowl before it changed into a chuckle.

"You could not have been a bit more clear, right?" he asked confused. Dumping another Dumpling into my mouth I replied, "Be happy with what you get. Greed can be the cause of your downfall. And what do you mean by clear? I said what I wanted to!".

"What ditto?"

"Ditto."

"Arrey what ditto?"

"Ditto."

Sighing, he let it remain the way it was.

"Fine, ditto."

Sitting in the chaos inside the park, their was silence between us. Notifications of our friends asking us to join Among Us with them came popping up occasionally. The stillness was comfortable, extremely comfortable. It was a nice evening, the one which I wished I could've got before. Perhaps, it was meant it to be that way. You are bound to miss things when you are about to lose them. Universal fact.

The crimson sun which shied away from the splashing waves of the Arabian Sea, and began to sink. The Pani-puri seller having his own competition with the Dumpling and Vada-Pav sellers.

Thank god Pani-puri was not an official Indian citizen. If so, the struggle she would've had to prove her identity and make those fly-swatting government officials understand that she was a person with many names—oh the horror!

The elderly citizens who were busy finding new friends for themselves, who would be their family for the last years of their lives. The children falling and crying over the scratch they got; years later the same scratch would be a memento of their childhood. The cycles which rested under the shed, disowned, receiving the rest they deserved.

Bombay, I'll miss you.

"But now what? This won't work out. The distance and all," I stated pointing at the space between us. Not only the distance, the fact that I would never agree for a relationship at the moment was an unsaid fact which we both knew. Choosing to ignore what I said, he jumped down from the bench, and spoke out.

"Chale?"
[Let's go?]

"Hmm," I muttered, a bit disappointed. Just a bit.

"One sec!"

He said and went down on his knees. Ah! That truth and dare.  Again, I felt a sense of déjà vu. Bending at the right height, he started tying my undone shoe laces. Ensuring that his work was done, he gave it a double knot. When he did not get up, I gave him a hand. Reaching out for the hand I extended out, he chose to lace his fingers into it, holding on and refusing to leave.

His comparably small and cold hands fit into my warm ones. It was not a perfect fit, not at all. His bony fingers were awkward in mine, but I did not protest. It was not my fault that I behaved like any normal warm-blooded mammal unlike a few people I could name.

"What Tili? We have to get going and join the others for Among Us. You know ho—"

"Shush will you? Just for a second naa!"

"Okay."

"I know that this—" he started out, pointing at me and him, "—is not going to happen. But I want to let you know one thing, just one thing. Your 'Ditto' means a lot. Just as much as a relationship would've. After this, you'll go your way and I'll go mine. It won't be fair on you or me to wait up for each other. So, don't wait. Move on. Go with the flow. But remember me, please? Don't forget the fact that once upon a time you lik—oh sorry—said 'ditto' to a guy called Amaan Chandel. And that guy will be out there for you always when you need a person to make you feel alive, just a text away."

Rolling my eyes, I bit my cheeks to stop smiling. I don't know if he meant it or not, but he developed enough brain-cells to understand what was the right thing to say at the right time—and I was fucking proud of that. Putting all my strength on the clasped hand, I lifted up the boy and walked him towards the entrance.

And that's where I turned to face him.

A one second decision.

Putting my hands around his neck, I drew him closer for a hug. A nice, long, koala bear types. He deserved that much at least, my common sense had argued. And it was true. Separating within minutes, I stepped aside and looked away, grinning.

"Tili, since you said so much, let me remind you one thing. The day you don't respond to my text, I'll block you straightaway. But this liking this, won't this bother our friendship? I mean—"

"Nope, I won't and neither will you mention about that after you leave. You will just be like any other friend, just with the benefit of a teeny-tiny more preference from me which the others won't get. An—"

"Parth is going to kill you if he heard that."

"Not me. You. You are the competition, not me. Hah!"

I'm screwed. Never mind, I'm leaving the continent tomorrow. Parth would surely not chase me till Dubai. Plus, who's gonna tell him what Amaan said? No one!

Coughing, he asked out, breaking the silence, "Honest answer, who will you miss the most?".

Thinking for sometime, I realized that it was a tricky and difficult question. The person standing ahead of me was heavily influencing my answer. Turning away from him, I closed my eyes. Every moment which defined my life splashed right in front of me. The surge of euphoria spread through me, evolving into an overwhelming pit. Taking a deep breath, I answered.

"Class X B, batch 2019-20."

"Class X B, batch 2019-20," he repeated in agreement, giving me an ear-to-ear smile along with a nod. As the orange turned into red and red turned into violet, the sun faded away like we did.

I looked.

He looked.

We looked away.

And we never looked back again.

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