I have a secret that I didn't tell you today. You were so soft and caring today, that I could not say anything. I was feeling your love all the time.

I got a sweet dream last night. I saw you, me and a smiling little baby in my hand. It was a girl. You wanted to have a girl. I remember. I wanted it too. We had talked about it countless times before and after marriage. Anyways, you were brushing her soft hair gently and she was holding my finger while sleeping peacefully. She got your smile but she was pretty like me. (You know I'm so pretty, you can't deny). We looked so happy. 

But... I lost her. I lost her, Yoongi! I lost our baby!!! It's so painful. it's more painful than those nights I moaned fake to give you your desired pleasure.

I heard it when the doctor was checking my reports and talking to the nurse while I was pretending to be asleep. 

"Oh my, he even got a miscarriage. He was two months pregnant. How can I tell him or his family about this?" he said and went outside. The nurse adjusted my cover and whispered, "Poor Jin! How can a sweet human like you deserve this much pain? Life is so unfair!"

The room was silent again. My heart was trying to burst out, but again I couldn't cry, I couldn't scream. Pain... Only Pain... Felt like someone was eating me alive.

Do you know about it Yoongi? About our baby? Do Mom, Dad and Tae know it?

Tae got a boyfriend recently. His name is Hoseok, Tea calls him Hobi. Hobi is sweeter and cuter than his name. He came to meet me yesterday. His heart-shaped smile made me smile too. Tae and Hobi looked very happy and sweet together. I felt jealous. But I'm happy for them.

Yoongi, Baby, I have so many things to tell you, to ask you. I'm trying to note them down in my mind. Tomorrow when you come to see me, I want to tell you about them. You'll not be angry with me for this, right?

I asked Mom to dress up and come to me tomorrow. I don't like the messed-up look that she has been carrying these four days. I asked Dad to eat and sleep too. He is so skinny nowadays. Tae lost his charming look too. I know it's all because of me. You looked pale too, your hair was messed up, your lips were dry and your eyes were red. I know it's also because of me.

I'm the centre of everyone's pain and suffering. Please wait for some more time. I'll be gone with all your pain. You all will be happy again.

I'm just waiting for tomorrow's visiting hours.

.

.

.

But the morning never came...

.

.

.

It all ended in tears, in pure darkness and silent pain... No expectation, no disappointment, no regret, no sorry or no guilt anymore.

Everything died with Jin's pure heart, who just wanted to love and be loved...

*** Just smile and say 'I love you' ***

Here I'm ending this story. It did not get a happy ending...

Thank You all for being here. I truly appreciate it.

Love You! Purple You!