Liu Huai Kuan POV

Have you ever felt so helpless, like a boat rowing to the opposing current? Have you ever felt so miserable, like the rain on the cold island? Have you ever wished to go back in time and fix the present that is slipping away like the dry sand?

Yeah? me neither（◞‸◟）

But I know who has.

"Bo, do you want me to pick you up later?" I said when Yibo finished his breakfast and headed to school.

"No, I'm good." He said with a small smile.

"Alright. Be careful."

"Mn."

He had been living a life for, Xiao Zhan; acting as if nothing happened but I know which pit he fell into. Every day I witness my brother falling deep into a vicious cycle of anguish that even black hole would fall pale in comparison.

Injury to the body would heal but a shot to the heart never repairs.

I learnt too late that my brother had fallen in love and that person wasn't whom I thought it was but the fallen star: Xiao Zhan.

Even though it has been a week, I still haven't come with proper means to communicate with my family. Lucky for us, Uncle had a tea ceremony to attend to, so, he left for days. But unluckily, my parents heard that Bo got injured and are on their way back home.

I don't even know how they learnt that, I never let anyone know. Bo – currently in Xiao Zhan's body – had been living at his house; if I could call that living. He's merely breathing, a little upturn and it would be his last.

Da-Cheng had not been any better. That is how I started calling Wang Zhuocheng after getting to know him for a while. The woman which I learnt was his girlfriend had tried her best to support him. But he has been ripped apart right from the rim, leaving tattered pages behind.

I heard her saying,

If you don't fix yourself, I will break up with you!

She didn't mean ill; it was her last straw to collect the dissembled pages but the wind was too strong that they all scattered away.

But that was not the worst part, the vilest fact was that slowly slowly, the fragments of memories they had with Xiao Zhan were disappearing. It was Xiao Zhan's body but our memories were twisting so much so that it felt like it had always been Wang Yibo.

Who was being forgotten Xiao Zhan or Wang Yibo? I can no longer tell.

I had been taking care of both of them while struggling to remember what they are even crying for. It's hard to live like this.

Press F to pay respect （◞‸◟）

"Da-Cheng, I will come and pick you up both." I told Zhuocheng, who was also leaving for school along with Bo. The two had stark contrasting reaction to the situation that I didn't know whether to be concerned for the boy who was living normally or comfort the boy who was mourning.

"Mn." He said and went away.

I also have university to go to. But I have been skipping few classes lately to keep an eye on both. I am scared out of my wits for these two.

Heaving another heavy sigh, I got ready, stepped out of Xiao Zhan's house, locked it and went to my university.

The day passed in a daze and I was trying my best to not rush to Bo and Da-Cheng. That's how much worried I was. My phone rang and made me jump in surprise. Agitate, I looked at the caller ID and the air just got heavier. Immediately I answered.

"Father?"

"Kuan, we have arrived home. Nu Yang told us you have been living at your friend's house. I expect you and Bo to return home today after your classes end."

"Ah! Okay father."

"Take care, alright."

"Yes."

After the call, I dashed out of the university and straight towards my brother's school. It had been 3 years since we last met our parents. And It was not the reunion I was hoping for.

There was still time before his school ended, so, I decided to wait outside the gate. Keeping myself sane in the silence of the day, my eyes landed on a familiar figure.

Carefully I approached, it breaks my heart to see him like this.

"Da-Cheng, what are you doing here?"

Not expecting my voice, he jolted a little then looked in my direction. He was crying again.

The way his girlfriend shunned him, he thought it was not okay for him to cry this much. Had he been crying secretly like this to keep us form worrying?

One has gotten too quiet and other too normal.

Before he could run away, I scrunched down next to him and engulfed him in an embrace. I meant to do that for a while but never for the reason we had now.

Holding his small frame in my arm, a new feeling installed in me – to protect him. Maybe it was my brotherly instinct, the way I cared for Yibo? I had another reason to make sure Da-Cheng was well, he gave my brother the friendship he always craved for.

"Let me go." He cried. But the more he struggled, the firm I held.

"Da-Cheng, there is no reason for you to hold your tears." If you want to cry, cry. There is no restriction for it just because you are a boy. Crying doesn't make you weak. It prepares you, to fight the next battle.

Soothed by my words, he cried. His tears stained my clothes but I did not mind.

He cried, blaming himself for not being able to protect his best friend. He treated Xiao Zhan like his brother and I could only imagine how terrible he must be feeling. Had something happen to Yibo – No! I can't continue that thought.

We stayed in the embrace of silent air and warm tears until the final bell rang. I let go when he urged me to do so. Wiping away his eyes, he went back inside to get his bag. He didn't say anything, I didn't utter anything.

I spotted Bo coming out – he had that fake smile on his face again. Every time I witnessed it, it broke a little piece of my heart, turning it into an un-patchable wreckage.

Sed reactions only （◞‸◟）

Forcing my own smile, I welcomed him.

"Bo, how was your day?"

"It was good." He smiled.

"We have to go back to mansion today."

"Why so?"

"Father and Mother have returned."

His smile faltered for a second – he wasn't expecting that at all. But before it could leave an impression, he put on another one and nodded. Obediently, he went to sit in the car. Da-Cheng came out as well. Xiao Zhan lived in a silent and desolated neighbor hood while Zhuocheng lived in the contrary one. The path to their houses was the same but he had been living in Xiao Zhan's house as well.

Without even being here, Xiao Zhan was like a force, uniting us under the same roof.

The drive to Zhuocheng's house was as quiet as it could get. Passing by the rush of people, I realized how many of these might be different from what they let on.

Are they also smiling despite wanting to cry? Are they also afraid of being left alone? Do they also have someone they want to give their life for?

If so, I pity them all （◞‸◟）

Everyone has a story they wish they could narrate differently.

"Da- Cheng, I will call you at night." I told Zhuocheng when he confusedly got off the car that stopped in front of his house. I said that intently because I knew he would go back to Xiao Zhan's house the moment opportunity strikes.

"Mn." He said and disappear.

Would it be weird to say that I missed it when nothing but mockery came out of his mouth? Am I Masochist? That's for me to know and you to find out.

After making sure he stepped inside, I drove again and carried us to our mansion.

Now how would I explain this?

The first thing that happened when I walked inside was a gush of warm force that collided me and my brother into one. If I didn't know any better, I felt like new version of anime fusion.

"Mother..."

She squeezed the life out of us and gave us full blown kisses on our faces. As much as I am melted in her presence, I am confused as to why she's behaving in the same manner with Bo. Aren't they seeing Xiao Zhan? Or the reality for them had been altered that they think that's how Yibo always looked like.

I am terrified.

I can sense Bo having the similar calamity in his mind but he's still putting that smile.

"Dear, you will choke them, go easy." I heard my father say light heartedly and then my mother let go of us, taking one final look at our glistening faces.

"Look at how big they have gotten!" My mother was getting emotional. I forecast a flood.

"Mother how are you now? Are you healed properly now?" Putting aside his hesitation, Yibo asked.

"I'm all good. I'm all good." Mother said giving another blow on his cheeks.

My father came forth and rustled both of our hairs before pulling my mother away so she could give us some space.

Moving towards the living room, I realized there were some guests inside. Registering my acknowledgement, my father cleared his throat and introduced.

"Kuan, Yibo come sit. I have someone to introduce you to."

Taking seats respectively, we all sat facing the pair in front of us. They look oddly familiar but I am sure I have never met them. They were sitting nervously while eyeing Yibo time to time.

Who are they?

My question was answered when father said,

"Meet Mr. and Mrs. Xiao – Xiao Zhan's parents."

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Sorry for the errors and thank you for reading.